sunny1234 Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 well....i need advice,i really feel hopeless.i have talked to me friends but they are currently away studying so i am kinda left alone.. I had been going out with this guy for about a month.he was the one who noticed me first and pursued me.one night we bumped into each other and we hit it off,he was sweet,bought drinks and drove me home.we kissed.after that night he would call me everyday to arrange dates!he always was quiet,not talking much,but that's just him.i was getting more and more excited.he suggested going for walks wit his dog,brought me to nice places with amazing view to the sea,was hugging me a lot.we had sex after 2 weeks of dating.that was the moment i began to bond.the next day he didn't text around the time he used to and i texted him.it took him 2 hours to answer.i got impatient and insecure,but told him that i was fine when he asked me if everything was ok.the night came he texted me,but didn't continue the convo.i got angry because i felt he was not interested,and why starting a convo if he is not intenting to talk?? i called him to ask what happenned and told him i am not stupid...he got angry and we had a fight he shouted"i will do whatever i want if you like it or not!do whatever you like!go if you want to!"(i didn't forbid him anything) the next day he wanted me to apologize for making him angry and beeing so needy.i didn't really apologize just said i was sorry for how we ended up fighting. we were ok,met up the next day.i told him i have been used in the past and was scared.he was a bit drunk and told me"don't you like me?there is so much passion between us...thats rare"i told him that i don't like when he focuses just on our physical chemistry.he claims that's important.he begged me to forget about the fight.3 days after that we had sex for a second time and it was mindblowing,he wouldn't take his eyes off of me.i was sweet,hugged and kissed him after sex,gave him a massage.then again next day he called to meet at his shop,but was physically distant and quiet as always,and besides,he was doing stuff here and there leaving me alone reading my book.i left.he called but cancelled the date because he had to study. we didn't see each other for the next 2 days,but he called.we never really talked on the phone. then again i sensed him becoming distant and asked him if i was a rebound(he had a 3 year relationship,he also tattooed her name himself!!).after asking for an answer he said i shouldn't worry and he had broken up a year ago.he said he would call me the next day.he called 2 days later asking where i had been.i was cool,he said to meet that night|(he would call).he didn't but i bumped into him.he acted cool,didn't mention why he didn't call.he kissed me and left.i called,nothing.called again,nothing,texted that i want him to respect me and tell me what is wrong.nothing.i called him again next day,he hang up telling me he would call later.he called: "what do you want??" me: just an answer to the text. him don't want to have anything to do with you,just leave me alone and stop annoying me,just get lost and don't contact me.ok? me(calmly) are u being so mean,have i done anything bad to you?? him get lost. me not fair... him up) i don't get it........i was at work and was really hurt,it was nearly impossible to pretend i was ok.i never did anything to disrespect him,nor did i yell at him...why is he so mean??he could have just told me it's over nicely. Link to comment
sunny1234 Posted January 27, 2013 Author Share Posted January 27, 2013 oh,and we were in a relationship(he answered the phone and said"i am with my girl").but his fb status says"complicated"(from before i added him,he doesn't really use fb) Link to comment
LostInMyThoughts Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Hi Sunny1234. I don't know what to say. From what you've described, he sounds like an angry, controlling jerk. At the same time, it sounds like you have quite a bit of insecurity issues too, and do come accross as needy. It's only been 1 month into your relationship, and this is your dynamic, and I don't really see it changing. Do you really see this as the type of relationship you want to be in for the rest of your life? I don't think he broke up with you. I think he lashed out of anger, and will probably call you back next time he is drunk/lonely/horny. Since you asked for advice...tell him to get lost, and move on. There are much better guys out there and you deserve one. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Hi sunny I agree with lost ... Although he does sound like a jerk , you also sound very insecure and seem unsure how to handle the dynamics in a relationship once intimacy has been established . You have to deal with past hurts and for your own sake don't carry around the fear of an old relationship into a new relationship ..your fear of him using you has consequently made you act in a way that he has found annoying/too much ...and he doesn't seem to have the patience or the kindness to reassure you . I would put this down to experience and just let him be before he hurts you more. remember a person can only hurt you if you allow it ..so if you dont call him or ask him for the answers then he can't hurt you with his response . Link to comment
sunny1234 Posted January 27, 2013 Author Share Posted January 27, 2013 thanks for the replies.it is really difficult at the moment to think clear...i just feel so bad about my insecurity.i was treated bad in the past and used by a guy i loved very much over and over again.i was inexperienced and had so much hope.now 3 years later i feel ready to be in a relationship,i no longer miss my ex,and i want to feel this"being in love"feeling again.that was a guy that caught my eye,he would STARE at me wherever he would see me,and as soon as i slept with him,he backed off causing my insecurities to arise.i told him that i have been hurt and that i want him to be honest with me.but still the hugs decreased,he no longer felt the need to kiss me out of the blue,and he would prefer inviting me to his friends house than going on a date with me.he seemed less interested in knowing me,and it was too early to stop showing interest...so i thought he was not really into me Link to comment
HeyJoe Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Sorry to say, but he played you. Was pretending to be nice at first, got what he wanted (sex) and then dumped you. If you feel like it's going too fast... notice the red flag. Please, forget about him. He is an idiot and a horrible person. Link to comment
Reflective82 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 How old is he? He just wanted sex and now he has got it he is off. I had a guy once do this to me when I was a teenager. I know it hurts but honestly, cut him off and NEVER speak to him again. He is a complete loser Link to comment
sunny1234 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 he is 24...!whenever i would act goofy he would tell me to act more my age!(i am20).we would often just sit there and not talk.i noticed he backed off when i accused him of using me.he was offended and wouldn't talk to me for 2days.we talked and everything was fine...but just for 10days.ok,i acted needy the last week,he got flakey and i asked him if something was wrong...but really politely and calmly...i am upset!i have had breakups BUT respect from both sides was present Link to comment
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