Boomshine Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 So my ex girlfriend and I broke up a little over a month ago. We went our own separate ways for a little while, did NC, and just last Saturday went out for coffee; our first meet up since the breakup and NC. She seemed extremely receptive. She didn't begrudgingly accept, but actually wanted to hang out. We spent half an hour drinking coffee, eating snacks, and talking about random stuff, like new movies coming out, TV shows on Netflix, school, work, she let me know some stuff about her grandma going through surgery, and her sister getting a bout of pneumonia, and a bunch of other things. Nothing serious though, nothing about our breakup, or the fact we'd been together, or anything like that. It was strictly platonic with the slightest touch of having a crush on her blended in. She laughed at stupid jokes. Like we talked about the Lance Armstrong interview on Oprah, which she hadn't seen, and I explained that Oprah was really cutthroat and had Lance by the ball the whole time (instead of "by the balls"). She laughed immensely at a bad joke like that. I also told her a story how just before I'd shown up, I witnessed a Latino couple arguing on the sidewalk, only to be proceeded by a midget walking out of the nearby restaurant, seeing the couple fighting, and ran up and kicked the man in the balls to "save the woman". Once again, she ROARED with laughter. Her eye contact wasn't too strong, and she was fidgeting with and bending her straw the entire time, so clearly she was nervous. I also made a bit of physical contact during the course of the conversation, and while she wasn't necessarily reciprocating, she didn't fight it either. And she did dress up a bit. Nothing major, but she had on a new button-up shirt that I'd never seen before, and she knows how much I like button-ups. I also texted her last Tuesday. Not major, just a little back and forth, but in all three responses I got from her, she added in "lol." She hasn't "LOLed" at anything I've texted her in FOREVER. I feel like she's trying to show some sort of appreciation through this, but I can't honestly tell. And just today, she came over for about an hour, I worked on her car for her (something that I needed to fix since the last time I worked on her car while we were together, so I owed it to her), and we BSed about gossip for a little while. I noticed she dressed up a little bit for this too, perfect makeup and looking nice, but she was also going to work, so I don't know if any of that was for me at all or not. BUT she did leave her jacket here. My roommate thinks she did it on purpose, but I feel like it was an accident. I'm not looking for whether or not I should be making a move on her right now, because I obviously don't think the time is right, but do you guys think she's starting to feel attraction toward me again, or am I just reading too much into things? I know that when a girl is interested in a guy, it's going to come out more in hr body language vs physical actions, and I'm quite rusty on my body language reading to tell at this point. Reckon I could always just wait til later down the road to see if things ramp up any further as she finds more attraction toward me, but it'd be really comforting to be able to read how she's viewing the situation right now, and whether her attraction level towards me really is building back up again or not. Link to comment
DiesPulchra Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I think you should wait. A lot of this seems to be her testing out the waters. I think you might be over thinking the LOL thing. Those types of things usually are just knee jerk reactions to something that's funny. Personally, when I'm trying to be appreciative, I let the person know if I actually laughed out loud. I'll usually say "Actually lol'd". That's when I'm trying to show appreciation because it indicates a physical reaction. You really do need to give this time though. I would be very careful, too. While there might be some mutual attraction, she may also just be using that to get what she wants. Was there a real reason why you had to fix her car? While she could have been using it as on opportunity to see you and interact with you, she could also have used this attraction game as a way to not pay for something she needed done! I have girlfriends that have done it. Just see what she says and does next. I'm sure it will be a big indicator of how she feels. Link to comment
Slimpee Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 She may just want you as a friend in her life. You're treading in dangerous waters...don't get your hopes up yet Link to comment
Boomshine Posted January 26, 2013 Author Share Posted January 26, 2013 Well, like I said, she hasn't tagged a LOL in any of her texts with me in forever. For quite a while, she wouldn't laugh at my jokes while we were together (including no LOLs in text - I probably haven't seen that in at least a year from her). Her level of appreciation for me was definitely low. And now she's LOLing at stuff that isn't even really that funny. Maybe chuckle-worthy at best. But the point I'm trying to make is she wasn't finding me funny near the end of our relationship, and now she is again. She's acting in a somewhat similar manner to what she was like before we ever started dating, and the two of us were just flirting with each other. The reason I had to fix her car was because when I did some radiator work on it a while ago, I took some bolts out from the bottom of her car that held a small cosmetic piece to the bottom of the front bumper. This caused that little skirt to hang low and would get racked up on parking spot curbs and whatnot. And considering I was the one who took them out, and still had the bolts in my possession, I needed to fix it for her. It wasn't any sort of major work that you would take it to a garage for, obviously. As far as what she says next, I had a little text conversation with her later in the night after I made this original post, and asked her if she'd like to go see a movie with me, to which she agreed. Oh no, I'm taking things slow and steady. I definitely need to feel like she's attracted to me before I start making any moves again, and also she's going to have to win me over again too if we're ever going to get back together. I'm being hopeful sure, but in the same way that someone hopes a crush they like will starting crushing on them too. This isn't a life-or-death situation, and if it turns out we don't get back together, I've already proven to myself that I can get other women as well. Link to comment
bananashampoo Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Isn't she attracted to you since she dated you? I don't see how attraction could be the problem at all. Link to comment
Boomshine Posted January 27, 2013 Author Share Posted January 27, 2013 Isn't she attracted to you since she dated you? I don't see how attraction could be the problem at all. Physically, yes, she's still attracted to me. But as far as romantic feelings go (behavioral attraction), that faded away a while ago. But that's also what seems to be coming back now. Link to comment
bananashampoo Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Ah I see Boomshine. I think if you feel like they are coming back that's for a reason, intuition is the best thing ever. Link to comment
Boomshine Posted January 27, 2013 Author Share Posted January 27, 2013 Ah I see Boomshine. I think if you feel like they are coming back that's for a reason, intuition is the best thing ever. Fair enough. I definitely need to stop doubting my self and focus more on building my self-assurance, so I'm just going to keep plugging away at it like I have been, slowly but surely, making baby steps of progress, and see where things go. Thanks everyone. ^.^ Link to comment
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