Is this a rebound?

[evondavis1]

Questions about my ex and his marriage, is it a rebound? I am asking this question to get some feedback on what other people think, because I am beyond hurt, confused, angry, pissed, depressed and sad.

 

My ex and I were together for 7 years. We are both 37 now. We lived together for 7 years, have a 3 year old, house, owned a business together, etc. When we met, it was all fast. I love you's, moving in, starting a business, all within the first few months. That was our story.

 

During our 7 years, we had our issues. I felt he never truly valued me, or wanted to commit. Even when I became pregnant, I hoped he would propose. I felt unappreciated, etc. So long story short, I had made him leave our home 5 months ago, we had a fight about the way he was treating me (calling me names) and text messages on his phone from his ex's (which he claimed were harmless).

 

I thought he would take this time to re-evaluate our relationship, or take time to himself, because he clearly stated he needed "space" and lost who he was.

 

So 1 week to the day of him leaving, he met a 24 year old. They started a long distance relationship, she lives 3 hours away. 6 weeks later, they took off to Vegas and eloped. Not one person knew about this, and his family hadn't even met her. People still thought we were together.

 

During the 6 weeks they were dating, he would show up at my house, to either visit our son, or carry on 2 - 4 hour long conversations with me, mostly about our relationship. He even cried a few times. Of course I was bawling anytime I saw him or talked to him. Meanwhile, he was seeing this girl.

 

A week before he eloped, he called me crying saying he couldn't understand why we can't get along. 5 days later, he gets married.

 

During the 6 weeks he was even telling me that he was just having fun, and that he would never get into a relationship, and that he didn't want to hurt me. That he would never label her as a girlfriend. I told him I wanted nothing to do with her, I didn't even want to know her name, and that it wasn't fair to be calling me and coming over to my house to tell me about how much fun you are having with her.

 

He told me he married her because she was a cool chick, and they don't ever fight!

 

So my question is - is this a rebound? I have very limited contact with him now, and he always looks like ****, and depressed. I can see this when he drops off our son.

 

Sorry if this a bad question, I just want to know what everyone else thinks.

[savignon]

Impulsive for sure on his part....I would certainly hope for him and his wife that he didn't decide to "rebound" with an entire marriage! Sounds like you should be counting your blessings that you don't have to deal with his name calling and depression. Things tend to work out just the way they're supposed to and the best of times often come after all the nonsense and stuff you *don't deserve*.

[DN]

No one can possibly know if this is a rebound, it may last, it may not. But from his point of view, he may feel that since you made him leave his house it no longer was his home, he wasn't prepared to take the risk of being thrown out again and would rather be with someone who committed to him, albeit very soon.

 

Your best bet is to heal and move on as soon as you can.

[bulletproof]

When we met, it was all fast. I love you's, moving in, starting a business, all within the first few months. That was our story.

 

6 weeks later, they took off to Vegas and eloped.

 

 

Seems to be the same. Obviously, he moves fast, no matter what the situation.

 

It sounds like you thought asking him to leave would change him somehow. The lesson here may be that you should ask for what you want, directly- not try to teach someone something. Because it doesn't sound like you really wanted to end things.

 

Bottom line is, if he was calling you names or treating you disrespectfully otherwise, then it's probably for the best that this is over. If not, then you can just take the lesson for the future and move on.

 

But nobody here can say if it's a rebound or not, really. And at this point, does it matter?