I am going to keep venting....

[VeryShyGuy]

I am not sure where to post this thread, some of the material fit in "Dating for Shy People", some fit into "Personal Growth" and some could also fit into "Health: Body, Mind and Spirit". Well, that has been the case for all my threads, they could fit into many many categories.

 

I have been venting my feelings on this forum for a while and I want to keep venting some more. By venting I somewhat unburden my thoughts that plague my mind for a long time. As for the girl I like, eventually she might find my threads on her own, for now I am going to make the assumption that she doesn't find my threads.

 

Well here goes:

 

The Girl I Like

She is beautiful in everyway, from her looks to her personality I find her beautiful. To forever stuck unable to express my feelings to her would be a major regret and a continuous torture for me. Sometimes I feel that there might be other guys as well that in the same position as me, they like her alot but she only maintains a platonic relationship with them. There must be, she has a very likeable personality.

 

I am always finding that I cannot tell her feelings directly to her, face to face (lack of confidence in my own voice). To counter my "lack of confidence in my voice" I have been venting my feelings on this forum, and finding I am getting some positive feedback. I want to be able to express my feelings to her in writing but still I am afraid it might ruin the weak friendship (weak in comparison to her guy friend that she is often around with). Although she has a good friendship with this guy, I REFUSE to view him as a competitor. I once told myself that a friend of hers is a friend of mine. I intend to keep this promise.

 

If it is her on this forum, she says that she dislikes dating a friend and finding when she ends the relationship it ruins their friendship (hence she is not interested in a boyfriend at this time). I find with my situation, by admitting my feelings to her I would ruin MY friendship with her. But if I don't admit my feeling to her, I see myself torturing myself for the rest of my life.

 

I am not basing this purely on what I think is her on this forum (I still feel a guilty about reading her reads, if it is her. I will try to put that guilt behind me). I am also basing in what I see as well. She tends to make friends with many guys at uni and becomes good friends with them, not a sign that she is in a relationship with one guy.

 

I truly value my friendship with her, although this friendship isn't as strong as I wish it is, I will always treasure it. I feel so much for her, yet she only sees me as a friend. If she isn't interested in a boyfriend, thats ok, I never had a female friend before and I would like to at least be good friends with her.

[bzborow1]

Seems you are one confused soul. On one hand you say you'd like to be friends with this girl, but on the other it's tearing you up inside. The simplest advice is to figure out what it is you really want from this girl and go get it. Easier said then done, of course.

 

I think also part of this seems to be based in your confidence in yourself. I mean you are treating this like if you lose her as a friend you couldn't move on with your life. What's wrong with coming with the attitude of it's the whole anchilada or nothing?? If you want to maintain make a move but not risk anything I think you're going to realize there is no definitive answer for this.

 

What I would do in this situation.

 

1. Attempt to pursue a relationship.

2. If unsuccessful, keep her as a contact to meet other women.

 

So you could just come out and ask her on a date or whether she see's you as more then a friend. If she's worth your time she'll give you an honest answer and not feel guilty about it. From there you could just tell her something like..."that's cool...i'm sure you have a bunch of hot supermodel friends and you're going to introduce me to all of them!"

 

That's my two cents.