she is a city girl and I am a country guy...

[zb]

Ok so my new girlfriend and I are doing really well........we think we could become very serious..........the only problem is that she is only planning to stay at this college next year and then move to another college.......she also said that her plans are not certain though.............I have already finished college but I have no real plans of what to do.......my parents want to help me get a house because for around here it is much cheaper to make payments on a loan then it is to rent...... I am not sure what to do because if she and I become serious she is not going to want to stay around here even if she does decide to stay at college here...........she is a city girl and I am a country guy.............well I am not what you might think of as country.......... ...........basically I don't feel like I should settle here because if i do and she and I really do work out..........what will I do then............just sell the house............... Is there anything to the myth that city girls often fall in love with the country or a small town setting? I don't really want to be thrown into a rat race in a large city myself.......... I guess if we do grow to love each other that we will be able to take on anything.........

[rvr350]

I think there's no easy answer to your question. Love is very powerful, and if you both love each other enough to compromise, anything is possible. Have you brought up this topics with your gf before? I think the earlier you bring this up, then you'll have more time to find a compromise, work out a solution. Be honest to her and yourself, that's my best advice.

[zb]

but see we have only really been together for a few days.......and i can't see her again until next year.........we will be chatting some.........I mean wouldn't it freak her out if I was like "hey, I kinda of have a house... if we do end up serious how do you feel about staying in this area for a while until we get on our feet financially?"...............I mean she might be like,,,,,,,,,,,this guys is messed up in the head.

[SwingFox]

Hi Balhatain,

 

I agree with rvr350. Be honest with yourself and with her. Communication is one of the building blocks in a relationship, so communicate. You could choose for living in a suburb of a large city. I believe that would make a great compromise. Why not getting the house now? You can always sell it again later on. If you rent, the money will only go to the landlord. On buying you will have the money as investment.

 

I hope that this answered your questions. In another message to you, I suggested you not to overanalyze everything. That could make you feel uncertain and feel insecure. Just try to go by the flow a little more. Let nature take its course, too.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[zb]

I will try..........I have a problem off thinking way to much..............I was going to be a psychologist at one time...........so I look out for every little thing. I mean I should just be happy because I know that she is looking for a serious type of relationship with me...........

[missjilly]

Balhatain,

 

I think you've gotten some great advice on here and if I can I want to toss my two cents in.

 

First and foremost: YES there is something to the myth that city girls can fall in love with the country. Happened to me. As soon as I finished university I moved to a small town and am now in a serious relationship with a farmer. I grew up in a city of 1 million, so yes it can and does happen. Just because a girl was born in a city doesn't mean she's supposed to stay there.

 

But that doesn't really matter as much as your situation. You sound like a really romantic and sensitive guy, from what I can see. I'm sure this girl will dig that.

 

But I would also point out that you sort of sound like you're at a crossroads and trying to decide what direction you're going in. And you're also trying to decide whether this girl is coming with you. These are totally fair questions and we've all had to answer them at one time or another.

 

I would say go for the house for now, give yourself a chance to get the wheels rolling on your own before you ask her to commit to a serious and possibly permanent relationship. Make sure you're secure in your position both financially (not that you have to support her or anything but it will just be less stressful) and emotionally. That way you will be prepared to approach this big subject with her.

 

You sound like a great guy and I sure hope things work out for you guys... just take it slow and one day at a time.

 

Good luck!

 

MissJilly

[uncledave]

" I guess if we do grow to love each other that we will be able to take on anything........."

 

 

how long have you know each other?

 

you talk a lot about how you feel but how does she feel, if shes going to college it doesnt sound like shes making plans yet

 

dont take life so seriously because it sure as hell won't take you that seriously

 

talk to her, talk to both your parents together, whats the rush to buy a house, i am 44 and don't own my own house, i dont freak when mortgages go up i can easilly move if i get priced out

 

i know lots of people from different tracks who got together, and they still are