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How can i say goodbye to him?


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as the title suggests i need help in moving on from the death of an old mate of mine that was only 17

i keep expecting to see him walk around the corner and be there and say ha ha it was just a joke and that he really is alive when in face i know that he wasnt because i watched him be buried.

i just want to have him back so much thatni cry myself to sleep at night thinking why did he die? he was so young and he had his whole life ahead of him he didnt deserve to die!

can anyone help me to make sense of it all???

Catie xxx

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I dont think anyone can help you make sense of your situation Death is a fact of life that we dont understand and it hurts us all.

 

A close friend of mine recently lost her brother and something she said to me made me think about things in a different perspective and may help you put your mind to rest.

 

Her brother died when he was 16 and had never experienced many things in life like your friend but she said if god was to ask her if she wanted a brother for 16 years or not one at all she would definetly want him here for 16 years every time.

 

I think maybe instead of looking for answers and wishing he was still here you should enjoy the memories you have and be glad he was in your life. After all im sure he wouldnt want you to be sad?

 

I know it takes time to heal and he will always be in your thoughts but Im sure your friend is in a happy place and is looking over you.

 

Only time can help you hela and my thoughts are with you xx

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i lost someone very dear to me (an ex BF) & was in denial even like post burial & wake etc. i wrote him a letter, i felt that i loved him so in the letter i just said everythign i felt & how i miss him & how dear he is to me...i guess i treated it as a 'goodbye' letter as if he moved far away. i asked his parents if they wanted the letter or if i can just keep it in his room just to ease my soul. they kept it, read it & still have it. it kinda made me accept the fact that i had to say goodbye & i how i looked at it was that well, hes gone. hes too far away to see again for a lonnng time. but he will be watching over me & i can say hello to him whenever i want. its very difficult death is never easy to handle, but this helped me a little....it also allowed me to vent out my emotions i kept inside for a while. i felt relieved to tell him 'i love you' b/c i never got to in real life...take care hun, dont lose your faith, itll make your bond with this angel stronger & you 2 will never lose touch that way. God Bless.

 

-DG724

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Just like DragonGirl724, I too lost my BF. He was killed in a motorcycle crash, while on his way home. (we lived together for 2 x years). I was devastated, and could not deal with it at all. I thought my whole world was crashing in around me.

 

And I too, started writing a letter. I did not finish it all at once, but every time I would miss him, or wanted to tell him something i would write on it, day in and day out week in and week out (it was a long letter...)I would cry and cry, and write and write, and somehow, it all started feeling better. Eventually I did not know what to do with my letter, I opened it again one day and realised I started writing less and less, and then did not write for several months. I wanted to go and burry it on his grave, but eventually decided not to. I too contacted his family, and sent them the letter together with all his things I still had with me, I realised I lost a BF, but they lost a CHILD and BROTHER They missed him even more than I did. I felt better, and were able to move on with my life. It takes time to deal with death, but there is nothing we can do about losing people.

 

I guess this is why they say life is not a destination (death) but the journey. Be glad you did get to know him, and were able to share in the life he had, he was a happier person for knowing you, and I do believe they are not with us in flesh anymore, but their souls still watch over us.

 

Write your letter.

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