Guy friend is guarded and distant?

[Phoenix_girl]

Hey Guys

 

I just wanted to provide an update on this situation and get some more insight. You can look at my posting history for the details, but basically known this guy for almost 6 years, he's 14 years older. we got really really close, flirting, talking about hooking up (didnt happen), confiding in each other and being supportive. If i used the label, he would be my best friend. Always there when i needed advice.

In March he started being a yoyo - back and forht, getting close, pulling away. No idea why. In August a friend of his in the office (we all work together) said some really personal info about me and him and our lives to other people in the office. He has remaained friends with her, and another woman - they both treat him badly. In September he stopped talking to me completely (by this point i had admitted my feelings, but noted that i wasnt looking for anything in return). I asked him why he wouldnt talk to me, but he wouldnt respond to me. Eventually he told me it had nothing to do with me, but he started talking to me a little again, but nothing personal. He's very guarded. He has slipped a few times and told me hes in a crippling depression (in the past he has told me that i can always tell what hes feeling).

It's like hes afraid to let me close. He will reach out once in a while, but then pull back again.

I've heard different things - i've heard guys will pull away from the people they are closest to when they are stressed. I've heard people say that they get scared when they are going through stuff and they cant hide it from certain people. He wouldnt hug me today for xmas. We don't hug a lot - maybe 5 times since ive known him....but still we have hugged, but its always been initiated by him. When he "refused" he just shook his head, with kind of a half smile on his face.....it was almost...i dunno.

He is going through a lot, so i dont want to keep asking him. But at the same time.....I dunno.

What do you guys think?