How crazy is it that I'm considering this?

[Slimpee]

Matt,

 

Without reading the first two pages of the thread, here are my thoughts: In general, i say go for it. That being said, there are considerations: Will you get emotionally attached? Would you do it to satisfy some sort of emotional problem instead of talking to a counselor? Will she give you herpes?

 

I support in general because like you, I was a virgin until my mid-20s because by the time I got to that age, it was simply because it hadn't happened yet. Being a virgin became "thing" to me so when the opportunity came to have sex w/ an attractive and open friend, I took it. I realized that being a virgin was something that was bothering me more than helping. The girl was a friend and wasn't expecting any relationship. So i guess it wasn't "special" but I don't regret it at all. She and I slept together a few times but then we both started dating other people and I got to experience sex w/ emotion (which is better). To be honest, I kind of liked not being a virgin when I slept w/ my then-gf for the first time. I still sucked due to lack of experience, but at least I had a little idea about what to do.

 

Anyway, i'm not saying that my situation is ideal for everybody, but it worked out for me...

[PaintWithLight]

Am I the only one who sees that the real concern is not the deflowering but the "flying into town to meet up with an open relationship stranger from the Internet who will let me stay at her house while we have some fun".

 

I am all about taking a measured risk but this scenario borders on fantasy.

[blueidealist24]

Am I the only one who sees that the real concern is not the deflowering but the "flying into town to meet up with an open relationship stranger from the Internet who will let me stay at her house while we have some fun".

 

I am all about taking a measured risk but this scenario borders on fantasy.

 

I do see the concern about that..

[MattW]

Yeah, I mean, I see that, too. That's definitely something I've considered, and to me, that's the biggest "con" in my pros and cons list, that's causing me to sit on the fence. I mean, on one hand, if it goes exactly like she says it would, that would probably be the best weekend ever. On the other hand, there are a lot of big, scary risks that come with a situation like this. So, yeah, at the moment, I'm still very much "on the fence".

[Batya33]

Yeah, I mean, I see that, too. That's definitely something I've considered, and to me, that's the biggest "con" in my pros and cons list, that's causing me to sit on the fence. I mean, on one hand, if it goes exactly like she says it would, that would probably be the best weekend ever. On the other hand, there are a lot of big, scary risks that come with a situation like this. So, yeah, at the moment, I'm still very much "on the fence".

 

I'm glad you're thoughtfully considering the risks. I don't think it's realistic to expect that it will go as she described because there are too many open questions about this (for all practical purposes) stranger.

[MattW]

I'm glad you're thoughtfully considering the risks. I don't think it's realistic to expect that it will go as she described because there are too many open questions about this (for all practical purposes) stranger.

 

Well, what would you suggest, as far as hammering out the "risks" and "open questions"? I mean, there's still very much a part of me that wants to pursue this at some point, but it would be nice to minimize the risks and "open questions".

[Batya33]

Well, what would you suggest, as far as hammering out the "risks" and "open questions"? I mean, there's still very much a part of me that wants to pursue this at some point, but it would be nice to minimize the risks and "open questions".

 

To minimize the risks I would travel there and have a hotel room, plus have others know where you are. Then I would meet her in person at a public place and go out together in public on at least three dates over a number of days. If you then feel comfortable with her and if she has proven to you she is who she claims to be (I suggest a background check) and given you her recent STD test results then invite her to your hotel room to have sex if you like. That would minimize some of the risks. I don't think it's worth all that work especially given the risks of emotional attachment on your part or the pregnancy risk (even though you will use protection).

[PaintWithLight]

To minimize the risks I would travel there and have a hotel room, plus have others know where you are. Then I would meet her in person at a public place and go out together in public on at least three dates over a number of days. If you then feel comfortable with her and if she has proven to you she is who she claims to be (I suggest a background check) and given you her recent STD test results then invite her to your hotel room to have sex if you like. That would minimize some of the risks. I don't think it's worth all that work especially given the risks of emotional attachment on your part or the pregnancy risk (even though you will use protection).

 

All these are good steps to take. Matt, do you really see yourself hopping a flight and going straight from the airport to her bed? I do not know how much game you have but it will be strange to bounce into town and develop a comfort zone with someone immediately. Having your own hotel room is huge because you can back off to a neutral place if you do not feel comfortable. If you discover she is sharing the house with 3 bikers and 12 cats, you can say....no thanks... and you have a place to go.

[Angler]

I still live at home with my parents, and my mom is annoying over protecting. I've never traveled by myself, and I've certainly never been away from home for even a day, let alone a weekend, so my mom would completely lose her **** (not that I'd tell her WHY I'd be going, of course, but she still wouldn't like the idea of me traveling for a weekend). So, I figure, if I have my own place to live, I can get away for a weekend, and my mom probably wouldn't even know. One less lie to have to come up with, and one less hassle to put up with, yanno?

 

You are 24.

 

I assume you've located your testicles in and amongst all the sex talk. It's time to cut the umbilical cord.

[Jennifer89]

Just remember you only have one first, and most people want to go back to there first over and over again, which could cause some heart ache on your end.

 

Being ok with that now could change after the fact. There are many people out there who fantasize about taking someone's virginity, so know that she may not even want to talk to you after that.

 

But, if your ok with that, go it (with a condom)... Many people have done a lot worse. Heck, I slept with a guy I knew for two hours and knew nothing about. It happens, it's ok.

[blueidealist24]

You are 24.

 

I assume you've located your testicles in and amongst all the sex talk. It's time to cut the umbilical cord.

 

Yeah, that struck me as unreasonable that his Mom would get mad about him travelling at age 24 too. I can see why she'd be mad if she knew the real reason lol, but if she just thought he was going to visit a friend from school or something, I don't think she should be mad.