First day of NC - please tell me its going to work

[kipling]

Hello everybody,

Today is my first day of the NC thing, I read about it here yesterday, and even though you know it is the most sensible thing to do, it helps to make it a solid rule.

So,I was with my guy for 2 years and i loved him with all my heart. He was so smart, good looking, he had had an exciting, international life and he was everything i thought I would never get.

He also had a drug habit.

Anyway. things were great for ages, and slowly his habit spiralled out of control, on my days off work he spent all his time trying to get on and it hurt so much, to have drugs be more important than you....

Anyway, finally even he had enough. He packed his bag one day and said that he was going away to get clean. He promised that he wasnt breaking up with me and that he loved me and would be back.

The week went by, I rang 20 times a day and after a while he stopped picking up, just sending me a text message at night to say he was still okay. Then Sunday came around. The day he was meant to be back. and he didnt come back. anyway, that was a month and a half ago, and he is now 1 month into another relationship with a girl he has worked with for the last YEAR. I sent him a text the other night, and she must have had his mobile phone, and she sent back a text saying he was otherwise indesposed with his head between her legs. I cant fight that, I love him so much that the pain threatens to overwhelm me. It is like a big elephant in my chest and I cant believe that after all I did for him he has left.

So today I am starting the no contact thing, cause if i dont see him there is no more fresh new pain to hurt me.

if does get easier doesnt it?

?how do other people cope when there loved one replaces you so quickly?

He was my whole life..........

[JohnnyTable]

I really feel for you as I was in a similiar, although not as bad situation. You must go into NC and stay that way. It is your only possible choice right now.

 

On the bright side, this guy has serious problems and is not worth your time or energy. You will discover this in the future after enough NC has passed.

[cassiana]

Sod the glamour of that guy, the drugs tarnish everything. better to have a decent guy. I don't know too much about quitting drugs or drinks but I know people are discouraged from starting relationships and encouraged to cut ties with the life that got them in this mess. While you are an innocent victim that might be the reason. He also might be ashamed of how he treated you now that hes regaining a perspective. Sadly selfish people deal with guilt badly. they resent the poor person that makes them feel guilty.

All in all its a mess you are well out of. You don't believe me now but with NCyou will. Good luck to you. I sympathise with your awful situation.