What is up with me?? What should i do?

[CoolGuy]

Hi,

I am a new member to this what I think is an excellent forum to get personal advice.

I am in a great dilemma and I would really be grateful if somebody advised me on this:

 

I am 23 and have been a normal guy till now. I was quite studious in my young and teenage days and did not think anything seriously about love, girlfriends etc. It is true that I was attracted to 2-3 girls till now and I have sufficient judgement (thankfully!!!) to conclude that it was just that 'infatuation' thing and nothing more. I also rarely talked with girls and was really uncomfortable speaking to them. I have always been known in all my classes as a shy, studious guy.

Now, it so happens that there is this gal who works with me. It has been just 2 months since we met. For the first week or so, I wasn't specially interested in her. After that, I came to know that she came from the same institution that I came from and we began to talk freely. I feel extremely comfortable in her presense and we share a lot of common ideas. I dont go dating or stuff like that and neither does she. But I think I have found a person who really gels with me like water. Myself, the guy who didn't even spoke a word with any girl; I find myself chatting with her hours together on various topics both of us enjoying the chat. She has a lot of respect for me and vice versa. I take great interest in her work and try to help her for which she is grateful and encouraging. She says that she really gets mad if someone talks about her personal ideas like marriage and had also scolded somebody badly because he commented on her marriage etc. but with me, she is so open and honest. We come from traditional families where arranged marriages are a norm. She said to me that she would like to marry a guy she knows sufficiently well or not at all. She believes in loving a guy and getting to know him before she marries. She also said that if someone loves a person very much then they would definitely say that after some time. Initially, they maybe hesitant but will surely propose one day.She told me what sort of a guy she was looking for ( a normal guy with whom she can share her ideas and be comfortable) if she married. Whenever we talk, it is as if we have known each other from several years. She smiles a lot( she does that to everybody) when she is talking to me and looks at me in the eyes as if trying to size me up. I am deeply attached to her. I don't know if it is love or attraction etc. but I want to keep talking to her for a long long time. I dont know if she thinks the same way but I guess so because she never gets bored of it.

I would really like ur advice on this subject. What is happening to me? I am always thinking of her company. Should I just continue to be close friends and share ideas? or am I in love with her? Has she given any clues that she likes me ? Ur advice is the only one I am banking on.

I REQUEST U TO SINCERELY HELP ME

[lipstick]

Hey.......i sounds like LOVE to me........

 

My advise dont' do anything........it will eventually come up to the point when u will more and more spend time with her......and become a couple.....

 

Let it go just the way it is........she wants it slow , than let it be...

[whinger]

im with lipstick ^

[SwingFox]

Hi CoolGuy,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am pleased to hear that you are getting along so well with this young woman. I understand that you are not sure as of what is up and what to do next.

 

CoolGuy, I am not familiar with how things are with arranged weddings, but you said that you both come from traditional families where it IS actual. That means something. The whole thing around arranged marriage goes beyond than just your parents. If you fail to be extremely sensitive to this, you might end up living in disgrace forever. Before you even THINK to get together with this young woman, I suggest that you make sure to oversee ALL the consequences for YOUR family and HERS. I would suggest that you talk to someone there who is familiar with arranged weddings, your culture and somewhat with your family to see if there's any possibility to go around that.

 

I hope that this helped you on your way. The signs look good, you might become a great couple, but just know what you are getting into. I wish you good luck.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[CoolGuy]

Hey! Thank you guys for ur great support. U r my best buddies at this hour of need advising me.

A brief explanation about arranged marriages back here would be of some help to u. The parents or even the guy/girl are allowed to choose their life partner. Then the parents of both with the guy and the girl decide about the marriage.

But before all this, I want to know what I am exactly feeling. Is this true love? bcoz i have never experienced one.

[SwingFox]

CoolGuy,

 

All goooooooooooo!! I would step into it and find out more about this young woman. Like I said before, the signs are really good. At least she likes you a whole lot, so it seems.

 

I hope things will work out the way you have them planned. Good luck!!

 

~ SwingFox ~