Unsure

[mephesto56]

I don't know what to do at this point. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago, but we have remained close and have had sex on several occasions. He behaves differently around me than he does with other girls, such as by touching my butt and such. We get along about the same as we did when we were dating. our relationship lasted 2 years. Last night he was talking about how he wants a kind of wants a girlfriend but no girls would go out with him anyway. That really pisses me off because he knows how I still love him and want him back, but I guess I don't count. I'm getting really frustrated and pissed at him because we are right for eachother and have everything in common and he didn't even have a reason for breaking up with me. He knows if he gets another girl I'm not speaking to him anymore, but right now we hang out a couple times a week. He gets mad if I touch him or put my head on his shoulder, but he can have sex with me? I'm almost to a point where I don't want to speak to him anymore. I want him back but I don't know how to get him back. He is always in my business, like I was out to dinner with my guy friend Josh, who is gay, for the record, and my ex calls me and says "where are you? what are you doing? who are you with?" and I said "out to dinner with josh" and he gets all pushy and says "josh who?!" because he thinks I like another kid named josh, and old him it wasnt him and he said "oh ok" like its no big deal. please. He still thinks he has a right to be in my business and is obviously jealous, then why did he leave me? I'm heated right now. Any advice would be appreciated.

[MissMandaJo]

This dude is totally using you. Ditch him. Come on, if having sex with the dude isn't going to bring him back, do you seriously think anything else will? Not that I encourage having sex with a guy to make him stay at all, I'm just making a point.

If you want to get him back, you need to ignore him. Don't call him, and if he calls you just make it brief. Let him know that you have a life other than him.

[Scandypop]

Hi there.

 

Your story reminded me very much of what I went through earlier this year, although when I split with my boyfriend he was also involved with somebody else. I wanted him back for months, and he could never make his mind up, although he too, kept sleeping with me. My advice would be to do what I eventually did. After a long time of wanting him back, I eventually had enough of the whole situation. I stopped spendng so much time with him, and told him I didn't want him back. I can't tell you what a difference it made. As soon as he thought he'd lost me forever he completely changed, and begged me to come back. After 3 months I eventually gave in, because I deep down still loved him very much. But the power was suddenly mine, not his, and I managed to tell him exactly what i expected of him then and in the future, and so far so good. My boyfriend was also quite jealous of what I got up to with other people when we were apart, and that to me is a sure sign that they still have feelings for you. Be strong and stand your ground, I bet things will change for the better. Good luck!

[cassiana]

If you are not good enough to date then you shouldn't be good enough to have sex with. What a great life he is carving out for himself. He has you as a friend, with sex but can still go off and get another woman.

If you let this continue you will ruin him and yourself. If you cannnot touch him affectionately, then he cannot touch you. NO MORE SEX. Tell him that \as you are no longer dating he must treat you platonically. Do not instigate any contact with him. This guy is using you at the moment, make it stop.

[Nick3964]

Scandypop is absolutely right. The balance of power is far too much with him and he is taking you for granted. Pull back and let the chase begin. Distance yourself a little. With his continued interest in what your doing, he's obviously still very much interested in you. Make him initiate all contact for a while. He should be the one to call. It should be his idea to get together. Start making your own plans without him and be busy sometimes. And stand your ground about the sex. Be polite but very firm. If you're just friends, then do not make love.