Ack... Did I mess up?

[MattW]

Okay, so some of you may be familiar with how I fell hard for a girl I know from work, and asked her out, and ultimately got turned down by. I basically still have feelings for her deep down, but I've made peace with the way things are between us, and I'd like to be friends with her, because we get along so well.

 

So, a couple weeks ago, she and I (along with some other coworkers) were out at a bar. The subject of my birthday came up, and I made it known that I was hoping to do something with people (and I'd like for this girl to come along, seeing as how I like her a lot). She seemed very interested in joining me for my birthday festivities next month, but when she found out what day it was on, she said she had plans (though she did joke about me celebrating my birthday at the place and with the people she's going to be with on that day). So, having given it some thought, I thought perhaps I could do something the day before, so that she could attend.

 

Today, I said "Hey, I know you said you're busy on my birthday, but would you be free to do something the night before?". She was a bit reserved with her answer, saying she wasn't sure, she might be, but again, wasn't completely sure. I told her I'd keep her posted. Thing is, looking back, I kinda wonder if she thought I meant just me and her. Which, I didn't. I didn't specify "as a group", as I thought that was implied, and I didn't think anything of it.

 

So, I'm just slightly worried I may have scared her off, making her think I was asking her out again, or something like that. I'd very much like for her to be there, but I hope I can "damage control" the situation so that she's willing to come along.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Forget about her, even as a friend. It doesn't sound like she is really worth the effort you are expending on her. You can have a fantastic birthday celebration without her presence.

[Johnny Utah]

I agree. Forget about her. It's hard, but this doesn't seem to be worth the trouble and you are just going to get hurt.

 

Also, you really do over think things and I think people like her pick up on that. It may even make her feel a little uncomfortable.

[MattW]

Eh, I wouldn't say I'm expending that much effort on her, and if I've made peace with the way things are, what's wrong with trying to build some kind of friendship between me and her? While we're obviously not that close yet, she's the closest thing I have to a "best friend" at the moment, and the closest I've had in some time. It'd be nice to hang on to that, and include her when I can, yanno?

 

Anyway, sure, I "overthink" a lot of things, but to be fair, I only ever do it after the fact. Not really sure how anyone could "pick up" on how much I overthink things, because that doesn't actually happen until I'm away from said people. Like, with the thing I made this topic about, I didn't start to "overthink" it until after we split, and I was on my way home when I suddenly thought "Oh ****, did she think I was asking her out again?".