SanShou Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Ok so here it is, I finally signed up here because I definitely need to communicate and figure this thing out... Well I recently lost my sweetheart my angel to time and distance. She is 20 and I 27, We were apart 1000 miles for over a year, and saw each other like every two/three months. Before that we lived together for a year and pretty much were like a happily married couple, then last year I took off to graduate school, many miles away. We did the best we could talking on the phone, some email, and got through the school year complaining but happily in love. then i went abroad for summer semester, she came and visited for a week, we had a blast, but she also was looking to study abroad the coming year, so this turned into an issue and we pretty much avoided dealing with it, then she left, and a week later she calls me and says she could not take anymore and ends it. she very emphatically denies its a real breakup and says its not over for good. She just needed some time alone. Still says how much she loves me and wants me as her partner in life. Whole thing really devastated me, thought we could withstand distance/time, but i was definitely disillusioned. Its been two and half months, and she has hung out with a few guys, but I dont think they have been anything serious. I myself did same, but dont want to continue that, want to try to mend things, but know time is necessary. We are still 1000 miles apart, is it even possible? Did she break up because she wants see others? Also we talk, on the phone, I am horrible with no contact rule, and keep callin her! There is no reciprocity, also she says alot of things she never follows through with. But our conversations still very intimate, saying how much we love each other, marriage down the road, and cant wait to see each other, so I might go see her soon, is it a bad idea? Am really torn, want to fight for our love, but sick of no calls from her, no sleep,... and want to change my own perspective on "us" if need be, maybe there really is no us... I just dont understand why she says she loves me so much, its been three months and I asked her to be straight with me, has she fallen out of love with me? She says no not that at all, she needs to focus on school and such and needs time alone.. we talked very seriously about marriage last time we were together. Things have been a viscious cycle for me, I get worked up about things she said in past or want to get answers out of her so I end up callin her to see what is going on, I sent a long letter over email of which she never responded to. Bothers the hell out of me... Maybe I am being played, or maybe she really is just trying to distance herself. Just dont understand the break thing when we are separated anyways and live separately anyways... Have been horrible with no contact got to stop being weak... always scared that if I dont contact her and remind her of me, she will meet someone or something. thats my biggest fear... dont want to lose her, although the odds are really stacked against us... Quote Link to comment
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