Online Dating - When to take it to the next level?

[paperboy48]

I have been exchanging emails with a few ladies online...at what point do you take it to the next level? And should I offer my phone number or ask for hers? Do you ask to meet for a drink online or wait until the phone contact is made?

 

thanks..

[Roxie84]

Definitely be careful with your phone number if you haven't spoken much with someone. I'd leave that for when you actually want to go on a date with one of them who stands out to you.

 

While I do find the telephone much more personal and 'real', you need to be careful. I've met men online, given my phone number, realized that I am not interested, and YEARS later they still bug me and text me on a regular basis. Beware lol

[Mustachio]

I met my girlfriend online and did the whole online dating thing for a while before i met her.

 

I usually liked to talk to them for about a week or two online before asking to meet up for a date, and yes, a phone number was usually required at that point to get in contact for real.

[Batya33]

I have been exchanging emails with a few ladies online...at what point do you take it to the next level? And should I offer my phone number or ask for hers? Do you ask to meet for a drink online or wait until the phone contact is made?

 

thanks..

 

I always asked for a phone number within one or two emails, then had one or two phone conversations and made plans to meet in person ASAP hopefully within a week of the first contact. I never met without a phone conversation first since it was a great way to screen out incompatible/inappropriate people.

[loveology]

Personally, I think it's best to set up an in person meeting as soon as possible (assuming you're both comfortable with it) for a couple of reasons:

 

1. It's hard to maintain interest online and I think many people will simply stop responding if you have gone back and forth for too long without initiating a meeting.

 

2. It's hard to truly gauge attraction until you have a face-to-face meeting with somebody and so I prefer to do it early on to avoid wasting too much time on someone I have no actual chemistry with.

 

People will obviously have different preferences in regards to whether phone calls come before an in person meeting or not. Personally, I don't care for the phone so I'd rather just meet up, but I know many people don't like just diving in like that.

[lilylilylily]

I hate giving out my number.

 

I remember one time I chatted to a guy for a week on the phone, it seemed amazing. We really clicked. But then we met face to face and we both had a look of horror on our faces... because we looked TOTALLY different to each others vision! I was so disappointed (so was he). It really felt like a huge waste of time... a bit humiliating too to be honest!

 

Just go meet them face to face. Forget the phone.

[Batya33]

I needed the phone conversation as part of my safety screening too -I exchanged lovely emails with men who sounded negative/hostile on the phone or who asked inappropriate questions on the phone. I never had expectations that we would click in person - the only expectation I had was that if the phone conversation went ok then we probably would have a pleasant half hour at least over coffee. I met over 100 men in person through on line sites.

[Coily]

I'll add an additional question or two.

 

How long between initial contact (assuming things are going well) and a first date?

 

Also how long would most of you ladies give a fellow, especially when he mentions being in irregular communications thanks to work and family commitments?

[Batya33]

I'll add an additional question or two.

 

How long between initial contact (assuming things are going well) and a first date?

 

Also how long would most of you ladies give a fellow, especially when he mentions being in irregular communications thanks to work and family commitments?

 

I preferred it to be a week or less. As far as things preventing regular communication it would depend on how he explained it and when these things came up (why be on a dating site if you're not able to meet in person within a week or so?).

[Patrick974]

I'd rather give my phone number than my FB profile, but that's just my opinion.

[Coily]

Thanks for the insight Batya

 

(why be on a dating site if you're not able to meet in person within a week or so?).

 

Well this was a situation where she contacted me two days before I had a marathon month and a half long work trip. Things like that happen irregularly to me and with little notice.