BetterWithoutU Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 After 3 years my ex told me he loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore. I don't want to go into details about it as he reads this forum and I don't want him to recognize me. How can someone's feelings change like that, after everything we shared and went through together? How can I ever do this again knowing that the next person I'm with could change their mind in an instant? For me love is eternal, when I'm in love with someone it doesn't go away, unless they don't want me anymore. I'm so lost right now, I know I need time to heal, and I intend to be alone so that can happen, just have friends around me. But when the time comes, how can I do this again, what if it happens again? I'm so scared, I'm rambling and this probably doesn't make sense. Link to comment
deana36 Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Weird because I was about to post this exact thing. I am curious too. I wont date anyone for awhile because I gave my all to my ex and he left. Same words were spoken. I am now so closed off from anyone. You know..why give anything they will leave anyway. I trusted him..I honestly did and now I am in pieces Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Have you ever broken up with someone? Link to comment
Heartbroken17 Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I thought that when my second long term relationship ended (3.5 years) and it took me a long time to get over it. I was with my most recent ex for 4.5 years and the same thing happened. I often have the thoughts you're having, but I try and convince myself that all it means is that I haven't found the right person, otherwise I really will feel hopeless. EDIT: Forgot to add another detail - I ended my first long term relationship after two years when I started university. My feelings had changed and my priorities had changed, we started off going in the same direction, but ended up going different places. He is now happily married with two kids and I truly am happy for him. Link to comment
MasterPo Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I imagine it will happen again like it happened the first time. You weren't aware, just a normal day and someone came in and made all special and crazy. Not too sound gushy and romantic but it happens and the sadness will be forgotten. Will it happen for everyone? Probably not but heal first then worry about it. Link to comment
Chalk Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I feel exactly the same. I suppose the real answer is that you just don't know whether it will happen or not. If there is a next time for me I won't be so trusting. Maybe that will be a good thing cause I'll care for myself more. I think I'm stupid enough to fall in love again. Link to comment
BetterWithoutU Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 Have you ever broken up with someone? No, I haven't. Link to comment
BetterWithoutU Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 I guess in time I'll want to try again, I just feel so destroyed right now. I'd pick getting hurt again over not living life fully, I know in time I'll be able to try again it's just right now is so hard. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling like this, I think it would be worse if I was. Link to comment
MasterPo Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I think we will go in the "next time" with some barriers but you have to know, different people and they may come from the land where people give a 3$#$ and nobody cheats. lol. I have to be positive and if I get hurt again, well.. I knew better and at least I lived. Some never do! Link to comment
april15 Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 If you get an answer, that works every time some one says I love you but am not "in love", take it, write a book and make millions. Each case is different but some people, good people, fall out of love. Sometimes you can pinpoint a reason, lack of commitment, need for freshness, or some other tangible reason the SO lost that loving feeling. I would bet though that more often than not the cause never known. Nothing was done wrong, no magic wand was waved. As the dumpee, we can only look at the situation, identify if we did something to cause the situation, look forward and try to heal and grow. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 No, I haven't. How many relationships have you been in? If it's more than a couple, it's just unlikely that you weren't in a relationship where you should have been the one to initiate the breakup. Maybe you're scared to be alone and would rather stay in a bad relationship or you're just intimidated by breaking up with someone. Link to comment
BetterWithoutU Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 How many relationships have you been in? If it's more than a couple, it's just unlikely that you weren't in a relationship where you should have been the one to initiate the breakup. Maybe you're scared to be alone and would rather stay in a bad relationship or you're just intimidated by breaking up with someone. I've been in two relationships, one was 11 months, the second was the 3 year one that ended this year. Link to comment
OverYou Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I'll definitely have a huge guard up in my next relationship but in time I know I'll want somebody again. Link to comment
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