i know u guys heard this story a million times but it hurts.

[jin79]

*sigh*

well first, anyone who is taking their time to read this.. I want to say thank you. I've drove my friends crazy over it and I feel like I have nowhere else to turn to..

 

me and my ex had been dating for close to 6 months now.. by far, its not the longest time but i still had developed major feelings for her and thought she did as well.. before going into the relationship and when we were just 'seeing each other', i knew her aol password so (i know i shouldnt have done it) but I snooped in her email box.. i saw her sending out pictures of herself with her bra on to random guys on aol and it bugged the hell out of me. this shoulda been a warning sign but i bit my tongue and went with it anyway

 

after a while, it began to bug me more so b4 it got to be a problem, i confronted her about it.. she gave me a really stupid reason like oh i was drunk, sorry, i dont usually do that.. .. at this time, my trust in her was pretty much done and i shoulda ended the relationship but i kept on goin at it

 

we had 4-5 months of peace.. we did everything together, no fights, we had sex 4-5 times a week.. it was great.. but then she has this online blogging site (xanga) and i noticed that her ex was starting to check her page again and leave her comments.. upto this point, they weren't talking and it had only been a month after they broke up that she went out with me so i felt somewhat like a rebound.. but i shrugged it off

 

well, strangely enuf, after that event, me and her stopped having sex.. once in a while we did but it came to a point where for 2 weeks, she just was not in the mood. i got extremely upset becaues it was my birthday and i felt very unwanted (i have confidence issues). the reason i liked her so much was because she made me feel so much better about myself.

 

well the problems in the bedroom led to us going on "break'.. i truly do not believe breaks are healthy and it is just a slow process of breaking up.. but i went with it cuz i didnt want us to be over.. she wanted a week

 

i lasted about 5 days, and i text messaged her cuz i was going crazy, i could not function, i wasnt studying, i wasnt eating, all i was doing is moaping around bugging my friends.. well she broke up with me over a text message and i was even more blown.. i asked her if she was gonna end it, atleast do it right, on the phone, or in person preferably.. she said she didnt want to be weak and went online and gave me a excuse of "everything that happened between us led us upto this point, so lets smile about it and move on".. and that was that

 

i was devastated.. it seemed like the 6 months i was with her, her heart was with someone else.. couple days ago, i heard she had been keeping contact with her ex (the one that she made up with) on a daily basis and they are chilling this weekend or something.. this just drives me insane.

 

my friends have told me to forget about her and move on but those of you who feels my pain knows how hward that is.. ive done very stupid things in the last couple days.. ive sent her emails saying okay lets just be friends to baby please come back to me. my emotion seems like its on a rollercoaster.. one minute i am glad she's out of my life, next minute i want her back so much thta im texting her again. and she never texts back..

 

i know within time i will get over her.. but i am very hurt right now.. its okay if noone reponds to this or even read this since it was very long.. but i guess this is just another place for me to vent.. i hope that one day, i will not wake up first thing in the morning to check her blogs, or my phone.. i want to get over her, i want to become someone that i used to be..

 

my question to whoever that read this is, do you think she really even cared for the relatoinship at all if she broke up with me on a text message? its so hard to believe that after 6 months, she could just dump me and go back to talking to her ex again.. why am i the one so hurt when she seems to have no problem going about in her life?

[usied]

wow that is aweful ...you shoulda dumped her booty a long time ago boy!!! i know its gona hurt for awhile and your not a dummy you do too ..its just the process of life ..you get down u bounce back up n do it again...no matter wat it be...she sounds really pathetic tho ..and i cant believe anyone would break up on a text message...its hard now bc the wounds are still fresh but be happy you are rid of her...keep yourself busy and TRY not to check up on her...it will be hard but you will be ok! there are much nicer girls out there!!! she seems really really lame

[Celadon]

Jim79, I feel your pain. Sometimes, I really wonder if that old saying is true, that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. When you're facing a mountain of pain because of a breakup, no "wise sayings" help. It's all about perseverance.

 

my question to whoever that read this is, do you think she really even cared for the relatoinship at all if she broke up with me on a text message? its so hard to believe that after 6 months, she could just dump me and go back to talking to her ex again.. why am i the one so hurt when she seems to have no problem going about in her life?

 

I think the fact that she broke up over text message means she's a coward. I think she cared about you, but she cares about herself more. Maybe that's not love, but that's as much as some people can muster these days.

 

Yeah, it's not fair that you trusted her and gave to her, and she went back to her ex. If it's any help, I don't really think she knows what she wants. She's like a rubber band, springing back and forth. Like you said, there were some pretty questionable these that she did. Although you cared for her and had a close relationship, I would say that it may be a good thing she's out of your life. She sounds like some bad news (and I've got experience with dating bad-news guys, lemme tell ya!).

 

Okay, so right now you sound sorta addicted - reading her xanga and stuff. I'm also an addict, so I'm not judging you or anything. But the thing is, the stuff you're doing to "hold on to her" are not making you happy. So somehow, I'd suggest you try to go cold turkey. DON'T READ her xanga!! DON'T TEXT her! Be strong! It could be brutal, but everytime you feel like contacting her, go run around the neighborhood, or hit a punching bag or SOMEthing.

 

I've been where you are. Hang in there, and thanks for posting.

[MiquelAngelo]

You are in that "Break Up " stage of your life. I really hate being there. I lose my appetite, I don't concentrate and all I do is think of her. I feel a hole in my stomach. I really hate it and it's he main reason a hate falling in love, but like death, it is a part of life and right now you feel like your life means nothing but in time you will probably be asking yourself what you ever saw in her. Just don't do anything crazy.

[jin79]

it just seems very hard for me at times but at certain points.. i feel like i can move on with my life without her..

the only thing that still bothers me is the guilt . since one of the MANY reasons we ended was because I was getting frustrated over the lack of sex, it seems like I was at fault and I can't stop blaming myself. I've asked her "if i had never gotten mad about sex, would u have said u wanted to go on break with me" and she said no which makes me feel even more horrible.. I feel like I caused the end of the relationship.

 

although she did do some suspect things in the relationship, she was a very sweet girl. I guess we moved way too fast, we talked on the phone for 2 hours at a time DAILY, saw each other and I slept over her house 2-3 days out of the week. I guess its very hard to comprehend that sex could have been the only reason she didn't want to be with me but i guess its understandable.. but I'm a guy, I have hormes, and it was my birthday, although no girl should FEEL like they should engage in sex on her bf's birthday, i would think that it is the norm.

 

*sigh* its usually around this time of the day where I feel like this. At night, when most of my friends are off work, I can talk to them on the phone, or online just to keep my mind preoccupied. I tried the cold turkey method and I did not check her blogs at all yesterday but this morning I just couldn't resist.. I know it will take time. and I am trying very hard.. I just can't get over this guilt.. and do you guys think that maybe she didn't want to engage in sexual activities with me was because she recently started talking to her ex again? Its very hard for me to comprehend that she could have lost feelings for me THAT fast.. everything was so great until that moment where I brought up the issue. now I have that guilt hanging over my head.. maybe i am just thinking and overanalyzing way too much. i really need to move on