I really need some serious help here!!!

[Hi-its-me-again]

Ok, here i go, as you can see i'm 16(sophmore), and, and i hate to be so modest but i'm extremely good looking, jk, but anyway eversince practiacally fourth grade girls have liked me, and suprisingly, it's usually the ones that i liked. Back then it was fine not to be doing stuff and going out with girls but the problem was up into the middleschool years a lot of girls still like me, and i liked then too, but i never said yes to go out with them. And now i'm a sophmore and i've never gone out with a girl before, every year it gets further and further away from when i should have said yes back in 7th grade. Now i feel like i'm to far behind and i don't know how to ask a girl out our what to do. This year things have been going better so far tho, and i've done more with groups and stuff like that on weekends, but i really want to go out with someone i just don't know what to do. There is a girl, and i've known her for a few years but i was never really her friend till this year. It seems like she wouldn't want to go out with me, i'm not sure if she ever has but that would just make it easier. Anyway i'm funny but ofr some reason i am like the tv shows and movies, i really do freeze up and don't talk clear. I just need some advice on how to go about getting to know her better. I have lunch and a class together. But i want to do something, but not as far as calling her cause i don't think i know her well enough to just ask what she's doing and stuff like that. I think i'm still living in a middle school world, were i don't tell people who i like and stuff like that. Give me some ADVICE, i would really apreciate it. SORRY FOR WHATEVER I SPELT WRONG IN THAT.

[shockeddismayed]

Hey Dude,

 

You need to focus on the positives. You said you were a good looking guy... you've had decent luck in that the girls you are interested in are usually interested in you. And you sound like you have a decent social network of friends.

 

All of those things are a GREAT start.

 

So really.... the only thing that is holding you back is YOU.

 

Here is the big secret though.... girls are very attracted to guys who are confident in themselves (but not arrogant) and who are positive.

 

So carry yourself with your head high. Smile, laugh and be as friendly as you can be.... do this EVERYDAY.

 

When it comes to dating a girl.... you just HAVE to ask. There is no way around it. And you should ask with confidence.

 

I know that can sound hard, but we all went through it. I myself didn't really date anyone until I was your age either.... for the same reason. I was ALWAYS too afraid to ask. I can tell you that highschool friends have come up to me years later and said "I had a crush on you, but you never asked". But after the first time asking it gets easier.

 

Here are a few tricks:

 

1) You need to remind yourself that you have options. And that you have qualities that girls will be attracted to. So even if she says know, someone else will say yes.

 

2) When it comes to asking a girl for a date, don't think about it too much. Tell yourself that you are ONLY asking her on ONE date. That way if she says know, you can blow it off as any number of reasons (ie she is busy). Also tell yourself that if she says no, you'll move on to another girl.

 

3) You need to almost PRETEND that you don't care what her answer is. That way you won't feel hurt if it turns out bad.... but more importantly it will allow you ASK WITH CONFIDENCE, knowing that no matter what her response is, you will be fine.

 

If she says yes, smile and say "great, let's meet at X on Y-day @ Z o'clock. I'm looking forward to it". And leave it at that. You've just come accross as friendly and confident.... good stuff!

 

If she says no, SMILE and say "Ok, cool, perhaps some other time". This is REALLY important, because you've just shown her that you aren't crushed, you are a cool friendly guy and have plenty of options. What makes this EXTRA important is that sometimes people get nervous when someone asks them out.... they say things they don't mean b/c they are flustered or scared. What you do by being positive is show her that there was nothing for her to be afraid of, you aren't asking for marriage, just a simple date.

 

If you can keep this attitude, you will build your own confidence from inside and have a healthy dating life.

 

Good luck!

 

PS: Just so you know, dating at any age can be a funny thing. I'm 29 years old, and just starting to date again after a serious relationship ended. I was out with friends and was introduced to a pretty girl who was a friend of a friend. We seemed to hit it off, and at the end of the night I drove her home. Outside her apartment I asked her for coffee sometime... she was flustered, said yes, but then when I asked if I could have her number, she refused to give it to me, saying that I could get her email from her friend. She then made excuses that she would be out of town for two weeks. So I was thinking she was blowing me off, but I said "ok, well I'll get your email and try to get in touch with you when you are back, have a great trip."

 

What happened? The next day I get a call from the friend saying "Oh my gosh, so funny.... She told me what happened last night, and asked that I give you her email.... the friend said the girl admitted to getting "really embarrassed and nervous" to the point that she couldn't even figure out how to give me her number on a piece of paper. And we are talking about a beautiful, educated young woman... she should be able to figure that out! Anyway her friend said the girl is really interested in me, thought I was really nice and would love it if I take her out when she gets back.

 

My point: Stay positive, you never know what good things will happen when you do that.

 

All the best,

 

S&D

[Hi-its-me-again]

you are awsome, i am amazed that you took the time to write all of that, that means a lot to you and this site. i'm gunna try somehow and do all the stuff that you said with the positive and confiedent, we'll see if it works out. And also, one more, i drive to school in the morning, usually with one of my friends, and so does she, we both have a car, but can you think of any way i can do something with that. ok well thanks a whole lot, and if there's anything else i'll be checking.