New to LDR with my girlriend, but its a crazy story.

[HPZOOM]

This is so hard. Ok of the bat, we dated for 4 years from 06-10. Lived together for 2 of those years.. Then we broke up...A bad break up..Really bad.. So we had NC for 2 years. Not a word. Alas, up until Mid August, I had a B-Day party, and I told a mutual friend that it would be nice too see her, and catch up, so I told him to tell her to come by. Now I had no inclination she would show, but she did. And thus, somehow we started to hang out together, movies etc, Then we both fell back in love with each other. And she told me something that kinda scared me, and i didn't know how to take it. She said that she has fallen deeper in love than the first time we were together. I agree I have fallen back in love with her too.

 

Now before we met this past August she accepted a 1 yr contract for a job 5-6 hours away. While I finish up this last quarter in grad school. We do have a plan that after her year is done she would move back. But im not so sold on that. She asked me that if I found someone else, or had sex with another person, that I would tell her. And that sounded alarms to me, so I in return asked the same favor. And then went this discussion of women can hold their drives more than men. And its just ringing alarms. And i told her i've seen more women cheat on their boyfriends in ldr than men.

 

So anyway the situation that presents itself is she is 5-6 hours away. We do have plans to visit each other once she gets settled in. And once I settle into school. And she understands i cant visit as much with this being my last quarter. But in the back of my head I have a feeling it's not going to work. I just dont know how it can. Even though she says she doesn't want anyone else, she wants me, wants to spend her life with gme. She keeps saying that she cant wait to start our lives together (besides when we were young she was 21 i was 23 when we met).

 

What broke us up was in a nutshell her family. They were in out relationship. I told her it would break us up, but she would not believe it. During our break up i told her "when the dust settles and all you friends and family go back to their lives and relationship, you will have nothing. What your doing for them they wont do for you." And i was right, she confirmed that I was right over the month we were together. She says she has matured from that (I was her first everything), and I was happy to hear that. In my eyes, i couldn't believe her if she didn't date anyone else. Whether dating others, sleeping with other men etc.,

 

I'm rambling. But how do you make it work? I have another 11 months of this. How do you trust? because anything can happen be it other men, she could fall in love with her job and not move back. I just don't want her to martyr herself for me. I hate that. I miss her like crazy. We talk/txt everyday. She says the I miss you, love you , cant wait to live again together, start our lives together, I miss you holding me, kissing me, seeing your face etc. So are we doomed?

[HPZOOM]

We do. But why do I feel like we broke up again?

[becomingkate]

I think that you guys have a chance. It'll be eleven months, and since you have some breaks (spring break, easter break, reading week?) it's possible that you can have some great visits!

[HPZOOM]

I dunno. The job out there wasn't what it seems... And it just seems to me that whatever is out there be it job, career, another man (could be), is more appealing than whatever is here with me...

 

I asked her once I finish my masters and get my own place with no roommates, just come back here and live with me, and you can search for a job here or enroll for your masters. She refused. She wants work experience first, and she doesn't want to rely on anybody, which is fine. While we both did say 1 year, it just seems that I'm being placed as a option, when I thought she was serious so I made her a priority. I told her your being stubborn, why does she need to stay out there with her sister and look for a job in la, when if I have all of the above she can live with me in la and look for a job? It doesn't make sense. Maybe im being selfish? Or stubborn?