What exactly will...help me?

[thatoneguy90]

First off, sorry for posting two things in a single day (about my...weight obsession), but its another issue that irks me. I also want to say sorry because this might be a semi-long topic.

But my question is, why aren't women simply attracted to me or whenever I try to talk to them they act like its a chore to talk to me?

Also, I should probably maybe tell a little about myself I feel that'll probably help.

 

I'll be brief about this but the type of person I am I should probably tell. I'm a very nice, generous and calm person, I wouldn't say I'm exactly out-going but I'm not really reserved either I'm a type of person not afraid to speak how I feel about something. I have an extremely positive outlook like life, no matter how rough something gets I always find positives to pull out, like my current situation with school I'm unable to attend this year but I tell myself "I'm going back next year right when sign ups open in the summer". I use to be negative but I grew out of it I got tired of always feeling miserable actually (besides my...erm well previous topic). But the majority of people that meet me tend to notice that first thing about me, just the outlook i have. Worlds to grim to be upset all the time. I have an odd personality too I suppose, I joke a lot, I kind of have a mildly dark humor but I typically make everyone laugh I can't really name someone I don't make laugh but then again they're friends and they know me so they understand my sense of humor. I also suppose a draw back is meeting a woman for the first time I'm kind of shy I think thats probably the worst thing.

 

Now, I guess looks are kind of important to a lot of women now a days. I really think its my looks alone that draws them away but my friends always tell me "They're just not good enough for you." I kind of have a baby face, I infact look extremely young I'm 22, but people think I'm 16 and a lot of people think I use a fake ID. I keep some facial hair on my face though it surprisingly makes me look older, but not a whole lot. And if you read my other topic (again sorry for posting another one...) I'm short, and I weigh 170lbs, I look average not thin or fat but just average.

 

But now comes to where I just see all these guys with these women every single one of them is skinny or muscular. To be honest it discourages me. As mentioned at the start of my topic, some women just act like its a chore to talk to me and so I constantly ask myself "am I boring? am I too ugly or not fit enough? is their something wrong with me?" I tend to over think I guess

 

I even joined a dating site, that PoF site I met two people one girl I'll admit we just didn't click so it was no hard feelings in fact it was a mutual thing between us. the other one, we went out on dates for 3 or so months and I don't know what happened to be honest she just randomly said I was toying with her, when I clearly stated I liked her. To be honest I think she just found some other person and was looking for a way to make me look like the bad guy. But it doesn't exactly hurt me because I know I'm not a bad guy, I'm faithful to everyone I'm with.

 

I tried the ...dating site...again. I'm rather ashamed of it to resort to that, I try talking to someone starting a simple conversation but now no one ever replies to me. No girls even in person seem to take interest in me yet they all go after these "gangsters", "muscle men", "Justin bieber look alike" (that was a joke).

 

I've been single for 2 years 7 months, I dont need a girlfriend to be happy and I've realized that, but I'd like something to develop I think is a proper thing to say. I know at my age I'm suppose to go out and have fun, and I'm fully capable of doing that even being in a committed relationship.

 

just, what is it that just shoots me away from women? Why does it seem just so impossible now for me yet everyone else seems to have no problems?

 

I'm sorry for the barrage of questions and the long topic.

 

I also have to go to bed I have work in 6 hours but I'll reply first thing in the morning before I go.

 

Also thank you in advance, I got helpful advice in my last topic and I really appreciate it.

[craigslist]

Hello, and thank you for your honesty!

 

Firstly wow stop feeling that you are the only one that has problems with getting women. I'm glad you feel happy and comfortable with yourself, this is an amazing advantage you already have over many many many men!

 

I too have the babyface thing going on, and from one babyfacer to another, dude count your blessings! When I was your age I couldn't even get into a club just like you are experiencing I'm sure, but now I'm 33 and I look 25, and I'm getting tired of the hot young girls that my friends only wish they could grab the attention of.

 

That's the two plus sides. I have found that when a girl talks about attraction the physical does play a part naturally but the charm aspect (the man's character) actually carries more weight in the end. Young girls will go for the homeboys...hence boys, older girls go for men, so I think you are destined to be a man, not a boy...does that make sense?

 

The thing about the shape of the man's body goes about the sense of commitment that man has. There is a fine line here, you don't want to come off as the metro-sexual of the year (there is actually a saying...the more perfect the man's nails the more of a jerk he is). So you have to try and view it from the woman's perspective, what is the package you are offering? Yes some girls will most probably not agree on this as they will say its the person inside, well I'm not talking of a girl who already knows you, I'm talking about attracting that girl on the website or accross the dining hall whom you've never met.

 

I wish you the best of luck, and although I am not sure of your current health condition, what I am sure of is that you have the ability within yourself to create a man that women (not all of them but at least more than one) wants. It is great that you have a sense of humour, it is really a good trait, but no girl wants to date the clown if you catch my meaning.

 

Be yourself and be good at it. Women are actually very kind, its the girls who can be a bit rough...but you'll get there.

[Klokwurk]

You seem like a great guy.

 

How short are you? 170 pounds on 5'8" is not so bad, 170 pounds on 5'2", probably pretty stocky. Either height you lean towards, I cannot stress this enough: you have to do some athletics. It changes your whole attitude, your feelings inside, your sense of manhood and your energy tone.

 

Women, especially at your age, why would they want a chunky boyfriend? There are plenty of strapping physiques that SHOW strength, confidence, responsibility and determination/passion, all qualities that women want to be in their ideal man. Fatness shows laziness, marks your socioeconomic class (the lower rung), and general poor health/education.

 

You honestly seem like a great catch, I recommend trying Stronglifts 5x5 for a few months and see the changes inside of you change the way women "feel" about you overall. Btw, this program is super easy, just one hour, three days a week.

[craigslist]

On the topic of exercising I can't stress my level of agreement with what Klokwurk stated above!

 

You don't need to go and join a gym right away and face the possible akwardness of standing between the muscle hungry guys feeling somewhat inferior right away. The simple act of stretching properly once or twice a day is enough to start releasing the endorphins that will make you 'want' to exercise more, and just doing some slight research on food types and metabolism will already give you some motivation to eat healthier...the best way to kickstart that metabolism.

 

I apologise, I did not see your weight post, 170 is really not something to worry about, even as a short guy, it is far out of the range of being heavily obese, and I think getting under 160 is not good for your general health in general unless you are very short. You will also see your weight go down and then go up to 180 most probably due to the gaining of some muscle as your fitness increases without you doing deadlifts. Oh and another thing, use your upper leg muscles as much as you can, those babies are the biggest muscles you possess and they use HUGE amounts of energy, thus eating away at those fat cells the quickest.

[thatoneguy90]

Sorry for such a delayed response, but thank you!

 

I'm about 5'6/5'7 so I'm decently short but like i said I'm just average I do have a tiny tummy and its something i'm starting to work on, I'm working on cutting back on the sugar and such which I really think is one of my big problems... and I know sugars not something ideal to have a lot of in your body. But I guess I just have a poor self image and part of me think maybe thats the reason why. But I'm starting to work on it, one thing at a time of course and I think working on the diet would be slightly easier for me to start since I feel like I'm slightly more obsessed with food then a typical male. I starting doing sit ups and push ups (nothing big I know...) and I'm gonna start jogging monday. I tried black coffee too for the first time because I read about it supposedly not being incredible bad for you and helpful even but it taste god awful.

 

But I just feel the major thing is simply the attraction I suppose, because I'm not as fit as some of the other guys but I dont really think if someone isnt fit doesn't really mean they're lazy. At least I think so, not all the time at least and I feel its unfair sometimes that women judge a guy simply by how fit they are or how they look but maybe I'm wrong about that.

 

I know I do have a decent amount of muscle though, not like a bulging muscular guy with a six pack. But I'm defiantly a lot stronger then most people think. My boss always would say to me at work "You're pretty strong for a little guy" thats always a confidence booster lol. But I mean I should probably start lifting weights, eventually maybe not right away but eventually. Like I said one thing at a time,

 

Another issue at least I think so, I never really know how to approach a girl that maybe has caught my attention, I'm just really bad at it. And I'm sure I'm not the only one that has that issue too -_-