What a crazy girl.. can I ever forgive her?

[Finch]

I am so angry right now, I have seriously never been this angry in my life. My ex-girlfriend is seriously crazy. I just don't understand that girl and I'm so angry at her.

 

Well this girl I am talking about is my ex-girlfriend. We went out for about a year and broke up in march. Her and I are still really close, or were, and continued to basically keep a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship going on without the commitment to one person. In other words we still said we loved each other, hung out a lot, hooked up and had sex, etc. We were very close and I loved her very much.

 

This girl has always had her issues, just like anyone else. The things that prevented us from going out were basically her honesty and her inability to keep promises. She frequently lies and she even cheated on me once. I should have left her then and there, I mean this girl isn't even that attractive.. but there is something that keeps me attached to her that I can't let go of despite all the crazy stuff that I have to put up with from her. I just can't let go.. I always end up forgiving her for whatever she does.

 

Lately she's been VERY flaky. I wrote a post about it early.. If you want to read it, it is right here: link removed . Anyway.. so basically she has been acting very similar to how she was when we went out.. right before I broke up with her.

 

Last night I was talking to her on the phone and she calls me up very late, around 12:30am and I ask her where she was. She just says that she was hanging out with her friend Kara and I said I know you're lying. I told her that she can tell me honestly what she was doing and I won't get upset.. so she tells me that she was doing something else. What a surprise.. she lied again. I then told her: I knew you were lying.. just tell me that you're a liar. So she says she's that she is a liar. I then said "... and that is why I don't love you so much anymore." I then hung up.

 

She calls me back and is all hurt because she thinks I don't love her anymore and whatnot. We don't talk it out on the phone because she starts crying and doesn't call me back. Today I saw her at school and we talked things out and we were going to talk more about it after school until I learned about her ultimate betrayal. The thing itself wasn't that bad.. it's just everything that she's done added up to this point.

 

My house was egged and tped on Saturday night. I went to school today and in all of my classes people were telling me that my ex was linked to it and that she had a bunch of people egg my house. So I confronted her after my math class and asked her what it was all about. She played dumb at first and then eventually told me that she had told people to do it. She said it was just a joke and she didn't think that they would do it. I mean these people don't even know me.. she had to give them my address. So I was VERY upset. I grabbed her arms and squeezed them very tight and asked her why she did it. She just looks at me stupidly and doesn't say a word. At this point I'm getting very upset. I was so angry.. if she was a guy I would have hit her at this point. I never will hit a girl and I shouldn't have grabbed her and squeezed her hard but I'm glad I didn't hit her. I never would.

 

She sits down and we both calm down a little bit and she tells me that she had them do it because I hurt her feelings when I hook up with other girls.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! She has a BOYFRIEND and I don't get upset about that. Don't be so hypocritical.

 

I was so upset. Not because my house was egged but just because this girl who is always telling me that she loves me, wants to be with me, etc has my house egged. I couldn't believe it, why would you do that kind of stuff. It wasn't just that too.. it's everything. How two-faced can you be? I told her about it the next day and she was all "Oh my god, who would do that? That's so messed up."

 

This girl honestly lies to me all the time. I can't even count how many times she lies to me in a day. She blows me off when I want to see her and does all this stuff... And I love her so much and it's so hard to let go but I think this time that it is it. I am so nice to her. She's not the most popular girl at school because she's always starting fights with people. Several times people have wanted to jump her but I asked that they didn't.

 

You're probably thinking that this girl just doesn't love me and is playing me.. but that isn't the case. This girl seriously was nearly a stalker after we broke up. She wouldn't leave me a lone and followed me around. She constantly called, etc. So I'm pretty sure that isn't the case.

 

However, I can't forgive her for all of this? Can I? After all the chances I have given her.. after all the warnings I have given her telling her that she needs to straighten up or I'm gonna have to leave her. I just don't get it..

 

What do I do? I don't want to lose this girl, but I can't tolerate her anymore if she can't act her age and prove to me that she does love me.

[hockeyboy]

you need to get rid of this girl...fast. she seems like trouble all around.

[Elliesonline]

Well, for starters, stop taking her phone calls. If she asks you why you haven't been picking up your phone when she calls, tell her you've been busy with school or something. Secondly, she doesn't love you if she got crazy people to vandalize your house. Did you file a report with the police?

[hockeyboy]

im not gonna blame you though. your blind right now. my ex had someone call me and threaten me and my families life. i did file a police report but i still pursued her. now i ask myself, what the hell was i thinking???

[Finch]

Yeah, I filed a police report. I don't think that they'll be coming back anytime soon though. I could find out who actually did it with a little bit more questioning.

 

I just can't believe that she'd have them do something so stupid. This girl is messed up. I mean she does have her good side, she just rarely shows that right now. I just can't believe that she treats me like this when she's supposed to be the person I love. She knows I can get other girls very easy and yet she still does this. She's always telling me that I make her want to be a better person, so that maybe one day I will want to go out with her again.

 

I'm going to be very upset if she turns this around on me at school. Like if she says something about me grabbing her so she'd talk to me. She always does stuff like that.

[daredevil]

This girl sounds crazy as u say... never take this person back.. she is to weird... who would do these things as u say yourself... she is havinga a rebounder (boyfriend) just to make u mad, i think.

 

So way bother with a girl who is weird in every acts she does???

[tea]

I'm actually thinking that she should probably take a psycology test... with a professional...

 

She does seem very unstable.

 

It might not be a good idea to go back to her. She might still love you, but she does have a boyfriend right now. Maybe you can try making her see that fact.

[Francis]

It is difficult to understand why on Earth you would want to stay in a relationship with such person.

[Finch]

Now she's really freaking me out. I was talking to her online and telling her how I felt about the whole thing. It went alright. She didn't appear to listen too much and was a little hostile to whatever I said. She basically was just telling me that she needed me really badly, was sorry, and that she would change.

 

Other than that she really didn't do anything else to apologize for anything she's done and I didn't really appreciate her being hostile towards me when I am the person who was wronged.

 

This is the real crazy part though.. I said I have always been there for her when she needs me to talk about something and I told her I would continue to be. However, I told her that she shouldn't expect us to be close anymore.

 

Well after this she starts acting all mean and says well I need to tell you about something.. so she confesses to me that she thinks that she might be pregnant since we had unprotected sex about 5 days ago. She just started birth control more than 2 weeks ago, however, she is worried because the day that we had unprotected sex she didn't take her pill at her normal time. She didn't miss her pill, but was just late. So she's worried that she's pregnant due to the fact that her breasts are real tender.

 

I don't know what to think of this. First of all I have done a lot of research about the birth control she's on, TriNessa, and on their website it explains that breast tenderness is a side effect and she had tender breasts before we had sex. She also missed one of her pills yesterday, according to her, but I also researched that and it stated that if you miss a pill you shouldn't have unprotected sex 7 days AFTER you miss your pill. So I guess I'm ok, right?

 

Right after this she mentions that her and I are going to get married. I was like, what? Married.. we're not getting married. What makes you think that? And she just wouldn't drop it. So I called her up and I asked her what she was talking about and she just said that she wanted to freak me out. So that makes me think that the whole pregnancy thing is a joke to her too.. god. In a way I'm glad this is happening because I just see how crazy this girl is. But at the same time I'm worried that she might even go far enough to get herself pregnant and say it's mine or something. Who knows!

 

I'm really freaking out now. I think she's probably just trying to mess with me, but this girl is crazy. Who knows if she's serious or not. Well one thing that has helped me see the light is I don't want anything to do with a person who is going to be crazy like this. At this point I don't want anything to do with her and I have no regrets. I just hope she isn't pregnant. She isn't, right?

[tea]

The chance of her getting pregnant is rather low, and whether she is pregnant or not, don't marry her.

 

The rest of your life is not a joke. I don't normally advise against guys taking responsibility for pregnancy, but you're presentation of her makes her seem a bit out of the norm.

 

If she wants to claim that she's pregnant, grab her TOMORROW and force her to go to a doctor and check up. Make the appointment first, and give her no warning so she can't find another guy to have sex with and somehow get pregnant, then ask the doctor to confirm her pregnancy.

 

It should come out negative. You really shouldn't have sex with her anymore, and keep your contact minimal.

[arwen]

I kind of wonder why you still are with a girl that messes up your life so much. There is a risk that she could be pregnant but it's very very minimal. It depends on the kind of birthcontrol pill she takes. Some of the pills have to be taken exactly at the same moment everyday. But the standard pill (in my country 'Microgynon') it has a marge of a couple of hours.

 

The girl is not functioning normal, you should break up with her. Why don't you? I don't understand.

 

Ilse.

[Finch]

Well we aren't going out and I am eliminating contact from her very soon. I am going to have her tested on Thursday to see if she's pregnant or not, which I doubt she is. I'm having her tested on Thursday because that'll be a week since we have had sex.

 

I don't think she's really that desperate to have sex with somebody else to get pregnant because she knows that I would request that she have an abortion. She's always been into abortions as well. I just don't know.. her little "joke" yesterday has me worried.

 

The birth control she takes states that she needs to take it around several hours of the time that she always takes it. However, she was late on the day that we had sex taking her birth control. How late? I'm not sure.. but hopefully the chances are still minimal. Thanks!

[RayKay]

Well we aren't going out and I am eliminating contact from her very soon. I am going to have her tested on Thursday to see if she's pregnant or not, which I doubt she is. I'm having her tested on Thursday because that'll be a week since we have had sex.

 

I don't think she's really that desperate to have sex with somebody else to get pregnant because she knows that I would request that she have an abortion. She's always been into abortions as well. I just don't know.. her little "joke" yesterday has me worried.

 

The birth control she takes states that she needs to take it around several hours of the time that she always takes it. However, she was late on the day that we had sex taking her birth control. How late? I'm not sure.. but hopefully the chances are still minimal. Thanks!

 

If you only had sex a week ago when you get tested, it is very likely the test would be inaccurate. After fertilization (which if she ovulated could of taken anywhere from 12 hours after she missed a pill to 3 days or so later) it takes at least a week for the egg to implant in the uterine wall and thereforeeee start releasing hormones signalling pregnancy. And additional days for the hormone levels to build in her system. Which means, until that happens she won't really be having any symptoms either as they are caused by increasing hormones.

 

She can get tested with a blood test at doctors a couple days before she is due for her period, but as early as you are planning won't do anything. Wait until at least 12-14 days after you had sex.

 

Her tender breasts could just be from the pill - they mimic pregnancy and cause some some breast tenderness among other things.

 

And if she takes pregnancy that lightly...don't sleep with her anymore.

[RayKay]

Oops, double post.

[arwen]

Yes, she can have sensitive breasts due to starting on the pill. I had that too, it can last for a while.

 

Raykay is right, you can test now, but it's really no use. Wait until her period is due, test twice!!!, or do a bloodtest.

 

Wise of you to eliminate contact. At least stop being involved sexually, and just stay normal friends. My experience is that having a semi-relationship with an ex only leads to more problems. And mine are nothing compared to yours

 

good luck!

 

Ilse.

[Phil]

The things that prevented us from going out were basically her honesty and her inability to keep promises. She frequently lies and she even cheated on me once.

 

I say leave her, if theres anything that will rip a relationship to shreds is the inabliity of having trust in a relationship.

 

And Cheating... I would've definently left then. Someone that cheats on me isn't worth it. unless i have a good reason to shrug it off.