How do i hint to her that i like her

[mr sad]

i am friends with her.

but the thing is that if i tell her how i feel about her she may not be my friend anymore, this could ruin our friendship

 

i dont know if she likes me back, thats why i named the post as i did

 

its ok, any help is better then being ignored.

im trying to have fun but its just not happening

[annie24]

next time you run into her somewhere, stop, say hi, chit chat for a few minutes, and then say something like, "I was just about to go get some lunch/coffee. Wanna join me?" Then, she'll know you like her as a person, but she's not going to think that you're in love with her (it's just lunch!) Then, you guys can talk and you'll be able to gauge if she's into you too. Have fun!

[mr sad]

if only it were that simple.

the thing is that she is at work on weekdays when im not, it wouldnt be possible to just "run into her" down the street.

the idea is good but for my situation its just not possible. the only time i see her is on weekends when we are both at work, but we rarely get to talk as there is much work to be done on the weekend.

 

im looking for just little things to show her that i care for her when i see her. im not really sure what to do.

[annie24]

It is that simple! Then, why don't you just say to her at work, "I'm really hungry. I was going to go accross the street for lunch/dinner. Wanna join me?" You're never going to get anywhere if you don't take the chance.

[mr sad]

its not that easy. we dont get to choose our lunch breaks. we cant just go off when we feel like it.

 

im looking for conversational tips on how i can show her that i like her so that i just dont have to be out with it.

im sure she would enjoy the attention but im not sure how to go about it.

 

many thanks

[blackss]

i think you are making it hard

 

you can't really plan this stuff, the best thing to do is flow with it as it comes.. if you don't know how to hint to a girl that you liker her, just by talking to her.... i dunt know what you did when u were younger, its almost common sense to some ppl, it comes naturally..

 

have you ever talked to this girl? just ask her a question something, its not very complicated

[mr sad]

you dont get it. i am friends with her, i talk to her. we are good friends, ive known her for a good 3yrs. the thing is that im worried i may ruin a friendship if i let her know that i want to be more then friends.

 

i did nothing when i was younger. was shy, depressed, had few friends, anit-social and so i wasnt really thinking about dating and stuff when i was younger.

 

i have talked to her we are really good friends, its not like some stupid little kids crush where ur scared to talk to the person

 

its not hard talking to her, but it is hard letting her know how i feel about her

[bettyboop401]

Ok...I've read through your thread and you seem a little confused and I don't blame you. It's pretty (and I apologise for this word but it's all I got at the moment) simple: you're basing your feelings and fears on what's gonna happen if she doesn't like you. You're afraid that you're gonna have no friendship after this if she finds out you like her. What happens if she likes you back? It's the curse of a relationship that if you are friends, taking it further can ruin the friendship. So you've gotta make that choice. You've gotta choose to indicate you like her (I'll tell you how soon...you will eventually have to admit it you do know that) and risk the friendship, or, decide that your friendship with her is too valuable. I'm not saying that you won't still be friends, but there is that chance. Have faith in the person that she is and that she's the kind of person that will not let this be a friendship breaker. I think with your heart that you've already decided!

 

Ok so what to do to indicate you like her. You've already said it in the thread. She's infatuated with someone and you're afraid if you inquire about it to your friend that knows who it is she'll think you like her. Ta da! If he passes it on, if I was her, I'd be flattered and curious...and start looking at you in a slightly different light (but not bad). But if you're set on not doing that you'll just have to smile, laugh, show that you're the great guy we all know you are and BE CONFIDENT! I agree with the other poster, if you don't have confidence you can look like you're hiding something and aren't that approachable. Just be careful not to be over confident. I get that you talk to her but try TALKING to her. Every chance you get say something quirky to her to make her laugh (even if you have to practice it ) and remember things she says. If she brings up the topic again say something like 'yeh weren't you into that?' or 'yeh, don't you hate .... ?' and it'll at least show that you care about what she was saying. Don't go overboard and be someone you're really not...she may like you for it now but it'll be a HUGE relationship breaker down the track.

 

GOOD LUCK!

 

Betty!

[mr sad]

thanks heaps betty uve totally got to the point of my thread.

 

yes, i am naturally a pessimistic type of person

"expect the worst, it can only get better" , etc

 

but i have made my choice, it is time to really let her know how i feel. i have felt this way about her since December 2003 and havent had the balls to let her know

 

but u mentioned talking , making her laugh, etc. this is great and the reason why i started this thread, but im looking for other ways, better ways, not to subtle ways as i have been using in the past.

 

also if u know anything about how i could tell if she likes me back at all. hints, etc. i would greatly appreciate it.

 

plz keep posting betty, ur advice is much appreciated

[bettyboop401]

Glad to be of some help!

 

Well ok. So you've decided to show you like her no matter what the consequences huh? Good on you. Staring is a great idea to show you like her...and she'll probably answer you with 'what?' and this is when it's time to flash your beautiful smile and say sheepishly 'nothing'. That'll start things ticking. Anything short of asking her out is basically the 'talking and touching' ideas that people have already brought up. I'm not really a guy so I'm not sure what else apart from that you could do. I'm terrible at telling if a guy likes me so probably not a lot of help there.

 

Telling if she likes you back can depend on her personality. She sounds pretty social which could mean that she'll also initiate the staring (which I think you've said you two already have started) and get a shy smile after you catch her perhaps. I get really sarcastic and show off my funny side to guys I like, except they're very outgoing too and love jokes and things like that. If she remembers things that you've said is also a good sign but not one that could mean anything romantic. Seriously there are a huge number of signs that could mean that a girl likes you but it's all relevant to the kind of girl she is. The only real way to tell is if you ask her out and she says yes OR if she asks you out. I'd actually suggest increasing your social activity with her even if it's just with a group. I understand you don't get a lot of time, but what little time you get perhaps suggest that her and some friends get together for a movie etc. This would show that you like spending time with her (even in a social atmosphere). Even if she can't make it, she'll appreciate being asked somewhere I guarantee it. Hope things all go well for you two.

 

Betty!

[mr sad]

thanks heaps again betty, ur advice is much appreciated

 

before i decided against the staring thing before cos a previous post from someone reckoned that she would think im a psycho or something, but i spose i can only try it.

 

ill let ya know how i go. thank you once again. : )

[bettyboop401]

Well the only way they'd find you a psycho from staring is if you don't play along when they catch you and smile. It's a little creepy if there isn't a friendly face that's staring at you. But give it a go. And you're welcome once again.

 

Betty!

[mr sad]

i noticed that you mentioned that this will 'get things ticking' im not one to plan ahead (i know its not good to and all) but if this does have a positive effect on things what other things would i do next?

could this one thing u advised be enough or do u think other types of hints will be needed? (im open to anything)

 

i will keep you posted if you wish.

cant thank you enough betty

[bettyboop401]

Like I've said hun the only way she's REALLY going to know how you feel is if you tell her. But staring is basically a universally accepted hint of attraction. Once this starts things off perhaps joking around with her and maybe even giving hugs or light touching as well. Just be observant to what she's comfortable with and what she's not. Personally I don't mind people touching me appropriately because I'm a touchy feely person, yet my friends always tell me that in the same position they'd be uncomfortable. So keep an eye out and perhaps if you choose this way start off with subtle touches to the forearm. Also try to mimic her actions when you're in her company. I know if a guy does the exact same thing about 3 seconds after I do it I start to wonder...especially if it's a constant. But again, don't take it too far. Only do this every so often.

 

We're you meaning what did you do if you get past flirting and onto dating? Or if you're well into flirting what next? (sorry...very tired tonight!)

 

Betty!

[mr sad]

well i dont think i want to be just out with it straight away.

 

as in well into flirting, not the dating part as of yet

[bettyboop401]

Oh ok! Sorry.

 

Um ok...yeh perhaps getting your confidence up before asking her out is a good thing.

 

Alright...so lets just say you've got the staring thing down pat, the smiling thing, the joking thing etc. This is good...you should have a great relationship with her if this all went well. Now I'll just tell you what I like guys doing with me to give you some hints. Basically I've got two kinds of guys: guys I go out with and guys I flirt with. For some reason they come into those categories because the guys I go out with actually ask me out, and the guys I flirt with could just be shy or compulsive flirters. Either way I"m not great at asking people out. Anyhow...so I'll tell you what makes some of these guys great flirters. The guy I"m into right now is really really sweet. He started off being really quiet around me, checking up if I was ok or needed any help etc. Then we hit a patch where we had a falling out and were just quiet and staring at each other. Next he started the arm and back touching (remember though...I don't mind this...other girls do) and giving me these adorable smiles for no reason. All of a sudden I've noticed he's remembered conversations we've had months ago and we've gotten into teasing each other a lot. He teases really well and always has this smirk/smile on his face. He sticks up for me even when I'm wrong and we both know it. We've even gotten into mimicking each other without realising it (although I have now) also. All of this stuff just makes him a lot of fun to be around and has got my head into gear of thinking of him as more than a friend, even though I know it's a no-go.

 

So just try this. Although I do suggest you find out what works with you. Once you get into a comfortable situation with her you should feel comfortable enough to take it to the next step. Good luck!

 

Betty!

[mr sad]

there is no need to apologise betty. uve done more to help me in the last few days then anyone has in years.

i should be the one apologising for asking for so much help.

 

but all help is appreciated, i cant thank you enough.

 

u r making a difference on this forum, if only there were more ppl like you.

[bettyboop401]

Awwww you're making me blush!

 

But really it's my pleasure. Everyone on here has helped me so much I'm just happy to be able to help someone else. Please please please keep me up to date with how everything is going and let me know if I can help you any further.

 

Betty!

[Andy223]

lo mate, i was in the exact same position as you are at the moment. There is this girl i really liked and i was not sure whether she had the same feelings as i did. We both smiled at each other, spoke on occasions.

I thought to myself one day, if i do not act now, the connection will go away and there will be no hope. I went into school feeling really confident, smiling etc. I happened to spot her by herself. I went over said hi and said something to break the ice, cant remember now. To my supprise she reponded in the same way i did. I know your nervous, if you keep thinking that bad things will happen, bad things will happen. It is hard

The thing is mate, if u think she feels something for you, then insinuating that you like her is only a good thing to do!

the fact of the matter is, if you start speaking to her much more, she will only react in the same way. This is based upon the fact that u both smile at each other already. Dont deny your impulses, they make you who you are

[mr sad]

well ur totally right andy, im doing all i can. but the thing is that i dont get to see her as often as i would like so updates on whats going on dont come all that often.

 

but yea today is tuesday and im likely to see her on friday and saturday so there will be some kind of update around then... anything before then would be if something was to happen over msn messenger.

 

many thanks once again

[mr sad]

well i saw her at work yesterday for about 5mins, we seemed to just stare at each other for like half a minute. i doubt she will respond to the staring thing with a 'what' as you anticipated betty.

and only today she just sent me a msg out of the blue. that is a good sign right?

 

so yea, not a great deal happened this weekend so this is all the update that i can give.

[bettyboop401]

The staring only warrants a 'what' if they're pretty outgoing...like me!

 

But messaging out of the blue can mean that she was thinking about/of you...was it a pretty useless message?? If I had the courage to message the guy I liked I'd make up stupid excuses like I do for the other one!

 

Thanks for the update! Remember to be yourself and you'll do fine!

 

Betty!

[mr sad]

well the msg said

 

i hate working

 

but yea i wondered if that does mean that shes thinking about me. so of course i sent her back a reply trying to cheer her up. i talked to her later that night on the net, she seemed pretty happy so i think that was all good.

 

but yea with the staring thing. its not that it doesnt work its more that i think she could be doing the same thing to me. so we just look at each other, there was no talking or 'whats' happening. do u think this is a better outcome then if she did say 'what' ?

 

many thanks again betty

[bettyboop401]

In my view...I wouldn't send 'I hate working' to someone unless they're my best friend or I just wanted to let them know I was thinking about them. Generally I throw in a question to ask...but if that's all it was it seems like she wanted to let you know she was there (like you didn't already know ).

 

Hmmm...as for the staring...I guess it depends on who you are. My guy (sadly not in the relationship context) and I started off with an inquisitive stare...and it's moved onto a cheeky 'I know you're looking at me and I think it's cute' stare or even look every chance we get. I'm not sure if there's stages of staring...but the more comfortable you get with each other the more respondant you'll become to flirting with each other. If she's staring back...and there's no uncomfortable signs...it's a good thing!

 

Betty!

[mr sad]

well she seems to be staring back, and its not like she shuns me or seems uncomfortable as far as ive noticed .. so thats always good right?

 

but yea not much of an update except that all is well.

is there anything i can try to help u with betty?

if there is then dont hesitate to ask

 

mr sad