Dating after a narcissist

[seralee]

I dated a narcissist for a little over 3 years. It took me another year or so to eventually get over him. I had to see a therapist who helped me with what I was going through. I've begun dating again after working on myself. I still have feelings of self-doubt and low self-worth which started with my ex. I always second guess myself and what I really have to offer because my ex belittled me. Has anybody that has been in a relationship with narcissist been able to date successfully? And let go of the negative thoughts?

 

I met a really great guy. I am worried these thoughts and negativity will mess up a good thing because I'm still so guarded.

[mhowe]

I dated one for years and years. Same thing -- drop in confidence, self esteem.

 

Best advice -- heal thyself before dating someone else. Because it while it is fair to be guarded, it is not fair to hand the new guy your emotional baggage and expect him to carry it.

[Ms Darcy]

Was your ex diagnosed by a professional as a Narcissist?

[blueidealist24]

Was your ex diagnosed by a professional as a Narcissist?

 

Does it matter? Even if he's not a proven narcissist, she's still suffering from the feelings of low self-esteem that a narcissist would bring.

[Ms Darcy]

It matters in that we (myself included) can sometimes place all the "blame" of the demise of a relationship on the other. I don't find that particularly helpful in healing and promotes viewing oneself as the wronged.

 

I am surprised anyone would say that it doesn't matter as that is a very powerful way of thinking of someone.

[seralee]

He was never diagnosed by a professional himself but in my therapists opinion, she said he has many traits of a narcissist and he is very sick. In actuality, he was always blaming me for the demise of our relationship telling me that if I were different then we would have stayed together. Everything was my fault.