Am I wrong to want her to hurt like I hurt?

[TopFive]

As I get prepared to go to bed, I can't help but wonder if this immature chick still thinks about e. It's only been a month an a half. I know she is involved with a new guy, but i still wonder if she ever thinks about me. Our relationship was way more good then bad. I can't stop wondering if she left me for this guy. This stuff hurts. Am i wrong for wanting her to feel my pain? She was terrible to me toward the end of our relationship and I think she used little things i did as an excuse to get out. I feel played and used. I want her to get hurt really bad and come running back to me so i can act aloof toward her. I dont want good things for her. Is this wrong?

[LostInMyThoughts]

No it's not wrong. It sounds like you're angry with her, which is a sign that you're healing. Many people get stuck in the phase where they think they're to blame, and their partner is perfect. You've passed that point and have gotten in touch with the truth--she wasn't good to you, and you're upset by it. Eventually the anger will subside and you'll move to the next step, but for now, feel away!

[bw92116]

It's a natural reaction but you can't actually act on it. Divert the anger in a different way that is non-destructive to you or her or anyone else.

[1st Love]

It's not wrong to want her to hurt as you do, I'm sure many people feel that way. I wanted my ex to hurt like I did when she broke up with me so that she would reconsider... that never happened, and I think all you can do is to live with it, or think of something else to keep your mind off it.

[tness]

Its a natural feeling. I also wish that my "ice" ex could have experienced only 10 minutes of how I feel every frigging day.

[Ferrero]

It's a normal reaction. U are angry at what she has done to u. Someone once told me, its okay to be angry and tro imagine stuff, just don't act on it. I wish I could take ur pain away, but I can't, in time ur heart will be strong again.

[tom42]

Feeling in pain after a break-up, feeling angry is normal. But I think a healthy mind should stop here, wishing bad to someone, "planning" a revenge in my opinion is not a normal reaction. If she hurt you tell her how you feel about, confront her about her actions but than stop and try to move on.

Hurting her, making her pay for what she did will really make you feel better, that will make you a better person, that will make you go trough this break-up, that will help you to make a better choice next time, that will give you a chance to be happy with somebody else? Just think about! I think we don t need to hurt each others no matter how much we got hurt, because usually everybody get punished because of her/his own stupidity, weakness, karma.

[JA0371]

Hi TopFive....

 

Don't feel bad...this is very normal. Like everyone said, thinking it and feeling it is one thing...acting on it is another.

Just trust in Karma...it will work in its own time.

 

In the meantime, doing something physically strenuous helps relieve those negative feelings. Do you work out? If not...work out until you are drained. This helped me a LOT...now I'm over it...AND I look better!!! A win/ win for ME.

[murdock604]

I'd try to get over it asap, anger's like pissing your pants; everyone can see it but only you feel it's warmth.

 

Find yourself a new *** buddy bro, that always helps me.

[mhowe]

Going againt the flow here -- I get the hurt, the anger and the pain. All natural.

 

But wanting to HURT her --- I think it is misdirected. And I get that you aren't planning on acting on it -- but the WANTING to hurt her sounds....like a child's reaction to a problem. Retribution. You did it to me, so I am going to do it to you.

[TopFive]

But Mehow I'm hurt and this chick is makin it seem like im nothing and she's living the life. It sucks.

[mhowe]

What this chick thinks, says or does should in no way, shape or form have an impact on you.

 

It is your life. Don't give away your power to live it to it's fullest potential.

 

The relationship ended. That has absolutely no bearing on you as an individual. It happens. And will happen again. It does not define your self worth.

[nbr]

TopFive,

I totally get how you feel. While Mhowe is right, wanting to "do unto others" is not healthy, I think it is understandable.

For me the answer was joining a dojo, not a gym. Learn a martial art that uses strikes and grappling (MuiTai, or Taikwondo both come to mind). The beating on the pads gets the aggression out very well.

 

My Renshi has a saying: Leave it all on the mat.

Keeping stuff bottled up is bad for you. We all can do it for a while, but eventually it starts to hurt you from the inside out.

Keep it bottled up till the next class, then sweat, tears, and occasionally blood, will wash it all from within. When you leave the dojo all the resentment, anger, sadness, rage, hate, sorrow, self loathing, all those are left on the mat, only a (literally) stronger you leaves the dojo.

 

-nbr

[mhowe]

By all means, listen to nbr. Release the negative energy into something inanimate. And get the poison out of your system.

 

Because it is from forgiveness, not retribution, that we grow as human beings.