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help with a date but not a date


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well anyway i'm going out to dinner with this girl i like tomorrow


she doesn't know that i have feelings for her and i didn't officially "ask her out" we just sort of came up with the idea to go out for dinner


this will be the fourth time we've been out together and the first time we'd be alone


i don't know if she has feelings for me at all, because she treats me like she does but never calls or initiates contact with me, and i don't know how she treats her other friends so she might just be being friendly


so i need help with:

- how do i let her know that i like her (without directly telling her)

- what do i say?

- what should i do?

- any tips?

- what are some signs that she's interested that i can look for during our dinner


by the way, i'm 18

thanks. - mike

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First, figure out what her body language is telling you. If you don't know body language, put yourself in a crash course. I posted some links earlier today, if you want to look at my other posts.


The biggest thing you need to do is make her feel attracted to you. How? Well first things, listen to her when she talks. Really listen and do it with your whole body, mostly keep your eyes on her face not leaving the triangle formed by the tip of her nose and outside corners of her eyebrows the entire time that she is speaking. When she is finishing something she is telling you, lock on her eyes, without glaring, and maintain that eye contact until she has finished and a moment longer, without saying anything. That more than anything else I have ever done works.


Don't tell her how you feel, see if you can do it through body language.


After dinner, if you have been listening like the above, she'll be attracted. (She already is BTW.) See if you can walk somewhere, and walk next to her doing the hand bump. Make your had bump into hers and see how she reacts. If she allows it to happen a few times, and does not shrink from the contact, then the contact will become longer in duration. It only happens for a moment, but the moments get longer. She is telling you it is ok to hold her hand, get contact, keep your hands together for a couple seconds and then go for it. Hold on.


If she goes for the handhold, let it be for a minute or two, then look and smile at her. Bingo, you are there. Now you just need to kiss the girl.


When you go for that, make sure you move in fairly slowly. If she knows where you are going and is not comfortable, she will let you know. You'll see her move away or something. Otherwise, just go for it slow. If you get that far, you are there.

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thanks, but i'm really really shy and i don't think i can do the hand-holding thing all that well


and how do u know she's even the slightest bit interested in me?

the thing is, she's one of the popular types, with a million other guy friends. i'm not sure if she acts the same way around them as she does to me, so i'm not all that certain that she's feeling the same way towards me


by the way, where should we go for dinner? formal? casual?



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You can do the hand hold routine. All you are doing is making your hand appear to accidently touch hers. You jsut walk next to her and make it happen. Her reaction will tell you. If she wants you to do it, she'll let it happen again. After it happens a few times, then you'll know it is no accident that she is letting it happen. If you hands just remain in contact for a few seconds, she is telling you to try. Listen to what her body says.


Otherwise, you are jsut listening to her. Nothing else to it. How shy can you be that you cannot listen and make a little eye contact. She will feel something different for you, if you just use some eye contact.


If she was not interested, she would not be going to dinner with you.


Let's see you arer 18, I'd go for something casual. You arer not going out to dinner often except casual. We are not talking McDonalds, though.

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Learn to read her body language. It will tell you if she likes you.


Really look at the amount of and how she makes eye contact with you. if she makes eye contact and holds it for longer than normal, she probably likes you. If she breaks it by looking down, bet on it.


But learn about body language, and you'll be able to read her signals.

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