Make it stop!!! Pleeeassseee!!!! Someone talk to me

[TopFive]

The other day i posted about how I saw my ex's twitter and i saw that she is involved with a guy (atleast i think). I believe that this guy had been in the picture all along. I'm no longer looking at their twitter pages and i don't even plan on going on mine. The problem is I keep thinking about it. I keep thinking about the last two months of my relationship and it's killing me. I keep thinking about this man being intimate with the girl i still have love for.

 

Does anyone have any techniques or tricks that they use to not constantly think about the past and who or what their ex is doing?? I'm going crazy.

[NotYetCrazy]

I was/am in the same place. I just find ways to keep myself busy. It just takes time. Work on making yourself better. Go out and exercise. Call your friends and go do something.

[mixhot]

hi, yep its a tricky one that, i keep thinking of my ex sleeping with my best mate which they are!!! SSSTINGER, so your not alone,, try google thought stopping,

 

its tough or just get an elastic band round your wrist and when you think of them pull the band and let go!! stings a bit but it takes the thought away

[Sadbri]

There's nothing I've found to stop it except time. I'm convinced my ex has found mr. Wonderful and is happier than she's ever been even though there's no reason for me to think that. Our minds just seem to go to the worst possible scenario and then take it one step further. I just tell myself it's almost never the worst case scenario. Unfortunately its usually never the best case scenario either so I don't think my ex is going to win the lottery and then come crawling back to me next week.

[FYI]

You have yourself in a trick bag, break free. Deactivate facebook, twitter and any other source possibly linking connection with her and find a hobby to indulge in. After my breakup, I got involved in things I should've been involved in a long time ago. I started going back to school, I ripped the bathroom walls apart.. I plan on installing new cermaic finish on the walls and floors, painting. I still have my moments, I still miss her, but I ain't going to sit around and miss her.

[cupcake22]

I think about my future romances and that gets me pretty excited to move on.

[Justme3]

The things that are helping me cope and lessen the thoughts a bit are : delete everything that has to do with the ex. Delete from Facebook, twitter, phone, and anything else. Go online and read about others that are going through same things. Everyone on here is helping me tremendously. Do things with anybody that will do something with you. I go to the movies, I went to the beach, I went away for several days, I went to church..The last thing that helps me is time. Don't get me wrong, I still feel hurt and saddened. I still think of him a lot. But the pain has lessened as well as the thoughts.

[gtnovru]

Yeah thinking of my ex screwing another girl is excruciating. Like a knife to the heart. Thinking of him doing (and saying) all the things he did/said to me, for over a year, to another girl, who he could be falling in love with and treating far better than me... is very painful. Although my ex insists he hasn't met anyone, it's only a matter of time. And he's so good in bed, wish it was me. It really really sucks : (

[rattenkrieg]

like all others here I feel you. two months from BU I can say time does reduce the thoughts. but they're still there.

as others have said, block/delete from all Social Networks. not only that, also use a blocking add-on to disable your ability to just "accidentally surf" to those pages.

 

try finding an "antidote" thought when these bad thoughts suddenly assault you. a good memory, a fantasy, history, a person, even ridiculous thoughts, crazy thoughts, but not negative ones. try forcing yourself to think about them. also, think about your mind as one big old computer. it's generating thoughts. try not to get carried away in them. read this about the practice of "link removed". I haven't tried it yet but it is reassuring just to read and know that it exists (might be related to "thought stopping").

 

and also, remember that she's a fool for letting you go, that you're a great guy and that she'll probably regret it one day, when you'll be in a whole different place. tell yourself that these thoughts are irrelevant to you and that the only thing relevant is that she left and that's it, and now you are relevant to yourself.

[Lambert]

I think about my future romances and that gets me pretty excited to move on.

 

I do this, too. I try to think about the type of man I ultimately hope to be with. Admittedly, there are a few qualities from my ex in there, but I like thinking about this mystery person that has the things I liked but NONE of the things I don't want.

[Dinocaz]

Its probably one of the hardest things to overcome. Knowing the ex is with somone else , god those thoughts about them doing what ever can be crippling and many times are emotionally. However its important NOT to dwell ,,, easier said than done I know but everytime I think or did think of ex getting "hammered" by her thing I would shift my thought process immediately. Not at first - in the early days I did dwell, drank, drove myself insane , drove everyone else around me also INSANE. But over time i took control of my thought patterns.

 

These days when images flicker in I push them away. One method I use is my own visualisation. Its me going into a secret garden. Its walled, no one else can come in just me. Outside is my ex and the past. its not allowed in. I say that when I leave the garden i can again let the thoughts come back. I usually do this if I get thinking before Im ready to sleep. And I never get to the point these days where Im still awake leaving the garden. As Sleep gets me first. The garden is great, its got a stream and a big soft couch like thing to lay on. Sounds nuts ? HA HA Yes probably but it works. Best of all I surround myself with angelic kind of females who look after me. Not in a s.Xual way but a caring way. Again it sounds barmy. But I love to visit this place in my mind. It can seem so real so calm.

 

Then sleep comes and by the time I wake up my mind has cleared of thoughts of my ex. Refocus is the way to go. Dont let the thoughts of your ex with another over come you. In doing so you are allowing them to remote control how you will feel. Re-empower yourself, get your own garden In the end you wont give a damnn who they are with. Fight!

[rattenkrieg]

awesome advice Dino, thank you for that. I think I'm gonna set up my own garden soon.

[TopFive]

Dino I'm going to try this because i always think about it before i go to bed and when i wake up