why can they be so cruel?

[if only]

My ex broke with me 5 months ago to be single a week later he was with a new girl now i have done what I can to move on NC etc but it still hurts deep down.

 

The thing I really dont understand is he dumped me then turned really cold towards me. I felt like I had cheated on him and this is why we broke up. but I done nothing, I was just nice to him.

 

I have a local hang out that I go with friends every week same time etc it is 2 mins from my house but also 2 mins from his. He used to go with me occasionally but never hung out there on his own. He doesnt have anyone there who are his friends.

 

Today I go to do my usual thing and guess who is there...yep you guessed it him and his new GF!!

 

Why would he do this? I could understand if he had walked as it is very close but he drove!!! his car was outside.

 

Do I really deserve this? I have done nothing wrong but be nice, when I first saw them together it hurt but I made an effot not just to ignore them but say hi.

 

I have not done anything bad to him we havent even seen each other since march so why this? we even left on good terms. Why couldnt he have gone to the other place that was a further 2 mins away that he always hangs out at?... I have purposly avoided it because of him.

 

Do you think he is trying to hurt me? I really dont understand after 5 years I though he may have had a bit more respect for me

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

I know exactly how this makes you feel.

 

To tell you the truth, I don't feel he came there to hurt you purposefully. Don't think he is doing this out of cruelty. I am sure he still cares.

 

This kind of situations tends to happen a lot with break ups. I can imagine it is a bit soon for you to fully get over it but the moment, you'll have someone new in your life, it will be easier to simply look at it without aching...

 

Good luck with that and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach

[CC]

my story is quite similar to yours. its been about 9 months since my break up but here's what i have learnt.

 

i was told that once you have broken up, he no longer has the responsibility of being nice to you. he is not trying to hurt you he's now single and he is just doing what any single person would do.

 

a harsh but straight forward way of explaining this is, if the love is no longer there, its just not there and there is nothing you can do about it. that is probably why he has moved on quickly.

 

it hurts but i'm sure it will make you a stronger person.

 

take care

[if only]

but why do you think he went there?

 

I did attempt to try and get in touch as I knew we would meet again soon we have a couple of mutual friends who throw big parties but he just ignored me. When I saw them last time he was going to ignore me until I said hello. I feel like I am the bigger person in this I am not trying to upset him or cause any hard feeling between us but he seems to be doing exactly this.

 

I really dont understnad?

[CC]

exes do either one of these two things. 1 - take their new interest to places they have been to or feel comfy in or 2 - go to somewhere totally new so they can make new memories and not get flashbacks.

 

don't think too much into it. its not worth hurting and feeling the pain. people do things sometimes without thinking about it (like maybe your ex) and there are the others who think a lot into it (like maybe you)

 

i must admit i do wonder a lot about my ex until now but i try my best to distract myself.

 

take care of yourself!