miss_sunshine86 Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Ex disappeared 3 months ago. I was finally feeling happy, calm and over it. Had been NC for 2 months. And I bumped into him at a bar on Thursday night. We were together on and off for 6 years. Regardless, I saw him in the bar. He had a wide grin on his face the whole time we spoke. Said stuff like "Didnt think this was your kind of place" (He used to come and pick me up from there yet never went there himself when we were together). No apology, nothing. Just speaking with this disgusting grin on his face about work and he said that he had been through so much over the past 3 months so has not had time to think about anything else. (I did not care to ask what). I just said it is nice to see you are well and I went back to my friend. And proceeded to get wasted and dance with my friend all night. So I just now feel so tormented. The fact that I had visual proof that someone for why I have NO IDEA just disappeared and stopped caring about me. Someone I was discussing future, marriage with, just gone. I feel so disturbed Link to comment
chickydoodle Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Do you think it was planned and that he hoped you would be there? Either way he sounds like v hard work. My ex used to grin to camouflage an underlying stress/anxiety.....God how I hated it. My guess is altho' he doesnt want a rship, he wants you to pine for him forever...... Get back to where you were; the letting go , the peace. This is a huge challenge but doesnt have to be a set back. Maybe try and forget you saw him again- pretend it didnt happen. Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted July 7, 2012 Author Share Posted July 7, 2012 No he wouldnt have known i would be there because i havent been there for a long time. I was doing well - he has done this twice before and i never got over it hence we always got back together. But over the past 2 months i have been strict NC and i can honestly say i was feeling happy and at peace. But now i feel anxious and sad. Link to comment
chickydoodle Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 They do tend to have an uncanny knack of knowing when we are letting go and then instinct or something makes their ego turn up and stuff it up for us. This is the real challenge- showing strength if we see them again. You have done so well to date. Give your emotions a day or two to settle. Use the same tools you drew on before. Dont over analyze the whys and get back to where you were. Good Luck- you have proved to yourself you can do it. Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted July 7, 2012 Author Share Posted July 7, 2012 Thanks chickydoodle. x Link to comment
Heartbroken17 Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 It was bound to be a shock and what you're feeling is totally normal. Give yourself some time to heal again, brighter days will come, just as they did when you had started to feel better. I found it would take several days to get over it if I even spoke to him briefly to sort out how to get my stuff back. Link to comment
Gilson Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Seven years after a breakup (no contact, no visual, only ran into her mother once) and an ex knew she'd find me at a particular concert one night that her then fiance told her she should go to. (we picked up where we left off and lived together for 5 years). Most recent ex (3-4 weeks BU) seems to do something that screws with me just as I'm feeling good. It goes both ways. Link to comment
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