Dealing with regret/Life Coaches?

[Dougie_D]

I'm not even sure if this is the right word.. but I constantly ask:

 

"Why did I not do that more during that time? I had so much more time back then, why did I waste it?"

 

I always feel bad because I grew up with a lot of time on my hands. I basically had school. I only really worked for about 4 years.

 

Looking back, I feel like an idiot. It wasn't until I turned 28 until I really started focusing on my goals, dreams, etc.. At least now I'm taking it more serious.

 

I've pretty much "coasted" my life.

 

I'm 31 and I really have nothing to show for. It's hard because I have no excuse. There are people that are 10 years younger than me with more experience/skill levels than what I need to get a job I want.

 

How silly is that? That's at least how I feel.

 

I am stuck in life. I'm thinking about getting a life coach to help sort out things and guide me into a certain direction where I can be more focused. Someone that will tell me what things to better myself for the career I want.

 

Does anyone know how/where to find these so called Life Coaches???

[Batya33]

I think there is a licensing type or certifying type organization where you can search for life coaches in your area (some do phone consultations). Have you read any of the great books on the subject? That might be a good starting point (I'd recommend What Color is My Parachute since I've heard so much about it but I never read it so I'm a bit reluctant). It's great that you're thinking of how to reach your goals and taking steps -good for you and good luck!

[Dougie_D]

Well, what I'm afraid of, is wasting my time with a life counselor who can't help me. I know what job I want. I'm not the settling type either. If I settle for something else, I will be depressed my entire life and probably kill myself.

I basically need someone that knows the music business and can help me open doors to get this job. Maybe their is another route that I haven't thought of that will land me the job. Those are the things I'm looking for. I'm not looking for options. I only have one option.

[grainsofrice]

Hey Dougie, have you think of looking up for mentors or someone who is already in the field that you want to get into. From your posts, it looks as you are pretty clear on what you want to become. Counselors will just take your money. A mentor or a working professional will just guide you. This usually can be done with volunteering your time in their field. Hooking up with a mentor is a challenge. I am sure there is someone out there who is more than willing to help. Just keep knocking doors.

 

There are some awsome life coaches on the youtube search for Napolean Hill and ET the hip pop preacher (buy his book to support him). Also spread his channel. Unless if there are some great coaches that someone personally know, then I'll say go for it.

[Dougie_D]

Volunteering? You mean interning? Yeah, I've done that...but internships/volunteering is free labor for them. I'm constantly being used. That needs to stop. I'm just looking for a company that can give some piece of the pie. That's all!

[Batya33]

Volunteering? You mean interning? Yeah, I've done that...but internships/volunteering is free labor for them. I'm constantly being used. That needs to stop. I'm just looking for a company that can give some piece of the pie. That's all!

 

I did constant networking in connection with my career and now I network as I am thinking about returning to that career after a few years as a full time mother. The way you describe your experiences sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder and jump to being negative/dramatic far too fast. I'd work on that first because it's a huge turn off especially in networking -competition in your field as you know is fierce and if you want people to open doors for you then you have to present with a positive, upbeat, social attitude and also figure out multiple ways you can help the people who want to help you - to be a good mentee you have to figure out how to be an asset to the mentor.

 

I just had an experience where I decided not to go to bat for someone I had tried to help years ago who at the time came accross as wishy washy/dismissive of what I offered- now the person wants what I offered but it's too late on a practical level and I'm not inclined to do what it takes to help the person because my connections to that opportunity have decreased and it would take a lot more work and time on my part -time I don't have. That's one way it works so be careful about burning bridges with a negative or ambivalent attitude.

[Miss Firecracker]

I'm not the settling type either. If I settle for something else, I will be depressed my entire life and probably kill myself.

 

Still don't want to work? This is not going to get you a date, Dougie. I don't know why you think it's depressing to work and make a living for yourself. I would be much more depressed being poor and waiting around to be a music executive.

[grainsofrice]

Good luck Dougie! It's always nice to have a paid job

[blueidealist24]

The worst thing to do is think constantly about the time that you wasted and regret that. That'll just stall you even more. You won't get it back but seize the opportunities now. I think it's good that you're pursuing your dream but I think it would benefit you if you got a part-time job doing something else while you're waiting. Even a part time retail job has transferrable skills that you can take with you into the music business (communication with others, time management, etc.).

[Sapientia]

Volunteering? You mean interning? Yeah, I've done that...but internships/volunteering is free labor for them. I'm constantly being used. That needs to stop. I'm just looking for a company that can give some piece of the pie. That's all!

 

I think this is exactly the right attitude. *For yourself*. Do not share it with others, you will come accross as an ass. But know what you want and immediately move on if a place can't give it to you. The more time you spend someplace you don't want to be is less time finding what you do want.

 

And yes, part time work *for pay* wouldn't hurt either.

 

Good luck.

[Firiel]

Think about ways you can get your foot in the door. You won't get an awesome job in the music industry off the bat. It's just not going to happen. What about getting a job at a coffee shop that does small concerts? Show a willingness to help set up shows, and I'm sure they'll be happy for help. That way you can start networking with small bands in the area and have a relevant job for future applications.