JenniferG Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 So I have been hot for this man for 2 years now and it is driving me crazy trying to figure out if he is also attracted to me or not. We are early 30's by the way. Now I know your thinking that if he has not made a move by now he must not be attracted but he is the manager where I live, gets free rent + decent pay and I know if we dated there would be people living here who would make a problem out of it so this could be an issue for him if he is or ever was interested in me. When he first came here he actually approached me, acted very interested in me, suggested we hang out, and gave me all his contacts. Than when I acted on his offer he never followed through and now for the past two years has been acting very weird towards me. This has happened to me before at a place I worked, a high up manager liked me and asked me out but than backed out from fear and than went cold on me so I can believe this might be possible with my current crush. Now I am not sitting around waiting for a relationship with him, I gave up on that over a year ago. But he is gorgeous and its impossible for me to get over him when I have to see him often. So for the past two years he has been acting two completely different ways towards me whenever he sees me. About half the time he will be confident and really smile when he sees me, says hi and talks to me. During these times he will even offer me help or compliment me or he says things like he is trying to impress me. He also acts super sweet and caring towards me. He will have very big eyes that sparkle and between conversation he will just stare into my eyes for what feels like forever and I am the one who always breaks the eye contact. In all of my life I have never had a man look so long and so lustfully into my eyes before. It really gets me excited inside So whenever he acts like this I walk away feeling so sure he is into me. That is until I see him again and he acts the complete opposite... The other half of the time when he sees me he will walk awkwardly by me acting like he doe not even see me but I always catch him looking out of the corner of his eye like he is trying to hide it or I will walk past him and he will act like he does not see me but again looking out of the corner of his eye. I have been very observant and I catch him looking out of the corner of his eye at me a lot. I am 100% sure of this. I can actually tell he is trying hard not to face my direction but than I see the dark of his eyes looking out the corner and he is awkwardly stiff like he is trying so hard not to be noticeable. During these times if I approach him he will smile but than he acts almost scared and starts to stumble with his words or if I notice him from a distance looking at me from the corner of his eye and I wave he gives me this little half smile like he is embaressed or something. obviously he was watching me or he wouldn't notice my waving. So now whenever he acts this way than I feel like he must not like me and I feel so dumb for ever thinking he did. The whole thing with him is back and forth and I can't stand it anymore. One time I think he want me also the next time its almost like he is avoiding me. If anyone can give my any insight why would a man act two completely different ways towards me and what they might mean please help. I have been researching for 2 years on this and still lost for an answer. This is making me crazy and I just want to get with him already! and no I can not just ask him if he likes me because if I am wrong I will feel so stupid everytime I run into him. Link to comment
I_Speak_Jive Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 he is the manager where I live, gets free rent + decent pay and I know if we dated there would be people living here who would make a problem out of it so this could be an issue for him if he is or ever was interested in me. This is making me crazy and I just want to get with him already! He is the manager of the apartment building where you live. If you did "get with him" it could easily mess up his job and ruin your relationship with your neighbours. There are two possibilities: 1) He likes you, but can't be with you for obvious reasons. 2) He's not into you. Either way, not gonna happen. It's been two years - definitely time to move on, no? Link to comment
bulletproof Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Now I am not sitting around waiting for a relationship with him, I gave up on that over a year ago. But he is gorgeous and its impossible for me to get over him when I have to see him often. I have been researching for 2 years on this and still lost for an answer. This is making me crazy... It sounds to me like you are waiting for a relationship with him, especially if you've been researching this for two years. Have you dated other people during these two years? Also, nothing is impossible to get over, you just have to make the effort to do so. Nobody here will be able to tell you why a person behaves a certain way or not. I doubt his inconsistency has anything to do with romantic interest though. At least, it doesn't sound that way. So either you have to make a move or he does, bottom line. You say you won't, so I guess it's time to move on. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Why don't YOU ask him out for a coffee/drink? Why are you waiting for him to make a move? One way are another, by asking him out, you will figure out once and for all if there is potential or not. As for his job, yes maybe it would be awkward with a few people initially, but I wasn't aware that there are rules (?) that an apartment manager is not allowed to date someone who lives in one of the apartments. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 People who give the come hither looks and actions one day and then the "go away" looks and actions the next..with constantly fluctuating "come hither" "go away" behaviour...are in it for the ego boost and not for anything real. They are game players. I don't think this has anything to do with him being the manager..I think it has more to do with the fact that he gets his jollies doing these little teasers and then backing off to see the effect. Someone who is truly relationship material would not behave in this manner. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 People who give the come hither looks and actions one day and then the "go away" looks and actions the next..with constantly fluctuating "come hither" "go away" behaviour...are in it for the ego boost and not for anything real. They are game players. Not always. If he was a player he would have had her by now. We don't know the behavior of the OP. She may be sending mixed signals herself. And I want to be clear this could be unintentional. This is how it works. A person really likes someone. They flirt but don't get a clear idea of interest from the other party. They stop flirting. Then they reconsider. Maybe they are interested and try flirting again. Now if the other person is doing the same thing you have two people sending mixed signals. Another scenario is the guy is into the female. He confidently flirts with her. Then he goes away and thinks about it, and concludes right or wrong he can't attract her. So next time he doesn't act flirty. Then he thinks if I'm confident enough why wouldn't I have a chance. Then he tries flirting again. And so the pattern goes round and round until he mans up and asks her out, or she gives a sign that even the most signal deaf man can't confuse. Similar to the above he may like her. But he is the manager. He flirts with her because he loves the attention. He then realizes it's unprofessional and promises himself to stop. But hormones and chemicals are demanding things. He could very well be frustrated and saying, if only I wasn't the manager. Men are only human and don't know everything there is to know. If they send mixed signals it doesn't mean they are players or pigs. Most likely just human like females. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 What I meant was a game player, not a player in the sense of wanting to have notches on his bed post. Game players are those who like to mess with someone's mind because it is the confusion and frustration they create for the other person which really gets them off. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 What I meant was a game player, not a player in the sense of wanting to have notches on his bed post. Game players are those who like to mess with someone's mind because it is the confusion and frustration they create for the other person which really gets them off. Gotcha. Yes, that is always a possibility unfortunately. Link to comment
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