to the moon Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I'm going to turn 28 soon and had my share of relationships. It was only recently that I discovered that you could really have a guy have you orgasm during sex and that whole crazy feeling thing. The not full on was a little over a year ago, the second time where it was literally insanely multiple orgasms was a few months ago. So I meet a great guy about 3 months ago, he is truly great in every aspect that I always wanted, but I feel like I can't be in the relationship because he doesn't make me orgasm. I know and hear everyone who says that a guy can please you that you have to tell him, or that you have to do some assisting it's not just on him. I think those are for the ones who never experienced someone who could constantly make them orgasm MULTIPLE, I mean MULTIPLE times during sex. Every single time you have sex. I never had that happen, only once. (If you may ask what happened to this guy, just didn't work out). The first guy only ever had me orgasm twice in our relationship (8 months). The second guy who did this it was EVERY single time he could make me orgasm multiple times (for the record he was a virgin who "didn't know what he was doing" so to speak) so makes me think that it is very rare to find sexual compatibility. OR what I like to know... Is this just me who hardly finds someone she/he is sexually compatible with? Do you stay with someone who is amazing, just not sexually? Do you go on a quest to find both? Does both even exist? Does anyone TRULY know what I'm talking about? I mean really? Does having a curved/crooked/banana type penis have anything to do with it? Link to comment
laninaperdida Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 How emotionally compatible were you with the guy who made you orgasm multiple times? Did he treat you as well your current BF? Probably not or you'd be with him, you know? What I'm getting at is that the odds of you finding someone you're compatible with on every level is slim. (I think that's a soul mate...) You haven't said that your sex life with your current BF (or whatever your status is) is bad, just that it's not as good as it was with someone else. I think you're expecting way too much & you need to decide which aspects of a relationship have some wiggle room. However, I think I do "get" what you're talking about. To put it in perspective, my ex & I had a good sex life (first time I've had an orgasm during sex!), but he doesn't take care of me the way my current BF does. If I had to choose between an amazing sex life with a boy who can't provide for me & an average sex life with a man who can be a man I'd choose the second, hands down. That's not to say I don't miss my ex! I just find myself happier in the second relationship because I'm getting what I didn't get in the previous 1. I've never been extremely sexually compatible with someone who wasn't around just to bang me so I'm content to forfeit an amazing sex life in exchange for love. I would stay with someone if our sex life wasn't amazing. I'd... make it amazing, lol. If you're not attracted to his **** then it could put your off somewhat, but I don't think that's a deal breaker, you know? GL Link to comment
to the moon Posted June 20, 2012 Author Share Posted June 20, 2012 Multiple times guy? It was just a friend I knew for a few months and I just had this feeling. It wasn't a romance/sexual feeling. Just a feeling to be friends with him. Then just cuddling one day, this guy turned me on extremely. It wasn't a bf/gf type thing (wasn't my thing then and he was actually hung up on an ex). It's not that it wasn't AS GOOD, it's that just having a multiple orgasm constantly every time you have sex with someone, then going to someone who just feels "blah" essentially... either because I want so badly to have that multiple orgasm thing or I'm expecting something, anything. It doesn't even feel the least bit sexually compatible. I know I expect way too much, I really do. I think I am asking or expecting too much in a man. I do feel the sexual part is important, kicker? I feel an emotional/romantic relationship is just as important. So am I basically screwing myself? Shouldn't be a deal breaker but it's making me depressed because I feel somethings wrong with me like why can't I just be sexually compatible with this amazing guy? That's not fair. And thank you. Link to comment
Laurinaki Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 This is how it goes when sex is more important that anything else Link to comment
to the moon Posted June 20, 2012 Author Share Posted June 20, 2012 It's not that it's more important. Or well is it? I don't feel like it is. I just feel like it's a big part of the relationship. There are three parts: romance, friendship/emotional level, sex. Link to comment
none2good Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 It's not that it's more important. Or well is it? I don't feel like it is. I just feel like it's a big part of the relationship. There are three parts: romance, friendship/emotional level, sex. It's obvious that it's important to you. Does your new guy manage to orgasm each time you have an encounter? If not, do you feel that it's your fault that he doesn't? This will only cause problem for the both of you if you try to have a future together. Link to comment
paperboy48 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Does having a curved/crooked/banana type penis have anything to do with it? My Ex-wife told a girl friend of ours, I was the only guy she orgasmed with during sex. It was only when she was on top though. I was never able to get her to orgasm in another position. And, I have a slight to the left banana. I'm not sure she ever had multiple orgasm's with me. How does one know? Link to comment
BlueEagle Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Three months is not a long time with someone. You're still getting to know each other. As trite as it sounds you do need to talk to him about what you like and what gets your motor going. He can't read your mind. Everyone is different and past experiences are, too (i.e., what turns one person on may be different for another person). If you can discuss other issues in your romantic relationship with him then you should also be able to discuss sexual issues with him in a mature, respectful manner. I think to say that you are sexually incompatible with him is premature; give him a fair chance to please you by helping him. Who knows, by being able to tactfully discuss the matter with him it might bring you two closer together and improve things in the bedroom. Link to comment
ConfusedVirgin Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Just think how crushed your boyfriend would be reading this thread. Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Just think how crushed your boyfriend would be reading this thread. Are you implying that it is her fault her new bf isn't good in the sack? You should read the part where "the virgin who didn't know what he was doing" wasthe guy that gave her multiple orgasms. I've read your threads confused, keep your chin up, stop watching porn, and get yourself a good girl. Link to comment
ConfusedVirgin Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Are you implying that it is her fault her new bf isn't good in the sack? You should read the part where "the virgin who didn't know what he was doing" wasthe guy that gave her multiple orgasms. I've read your threads confused, keep your chin up, stop watching porn, and get yourself a good girl. I wish you knew what it was like to walk around with a penis the size and girth of a 14 year old when your 22. then tell me to keep my chin up. Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I wish you knew what it was like to walk around with a penis the size and girth of a 14 year old. then tell me to keep my chin up. Because man the majority of us guys have the same penis, mine is pretty average but I've made the girls I've dated go crazy. Just focus on getting the attention of a girl you like first, don't keep thinking like this it'll affect your sex life if you do. Link to comment
ConfusedVirgin Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Because man the majority of us guys have the same penis, mine is pretty average but I've made the girls I've dated go crazy. Just focus on getting the attention of a girl you like first, don't keep thinking like this it'll affect your sex life if you do. I'm 4.75.....5 on a good day..so way below average in length... also below average girth (4). As well as being a virgin i've never kissed a girl before. So I will not be able to "make up for it" in other ways(funny how the women who say size doesnt matter always mutter in the same breath how the man can "make up" for it in other ways,as if it is a shortcoming or handicap). I won't have "good performance" or "stamina" I'm not gonna know how to eat a girl.I will probably be a klutz with my hands hooking up because its so new to me. So how in the hell am i ever supposed to get a girl to stick around considering how important sex is,even by nice, respectable women on this forum? Link to comment
EQIQ Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I'm 4.75.....5 on a good day..so way below average in length... also below average girth (4). As well as being a virgin i've never kissed a girl before. So I will not be able to "make up for it" in other ways(funny how the women who say size doesnt matter always mutter in the same breath how the man can "make up" for it in other ways,as if it is a shortcoming or handicap). I won't have "good performance" or "stamina" I'm not gonna know how to eat a girl.I will probably be a klutz with my hands hooking up because its so new to me. So how in the hell am i ever supposed to get a girl to stick around considering how important sex is,even by nice, respectable women on this forum? Please do yourself a favor, and look deep into yourself, and into that section in your brain that contains all information about sex, and press Shift+Delete and click Yes. Then grab yourself a decent book on sex. A friend of mine sent me a PDF copy of "She Comes First", it is pretty much a guide on oral sex. Go do research on what real sex should be about. Forget porn, forget Comospolitan magazines, and the like. Go research what the real deal is about and how to please a woman. You will notice that it is not complicated and can easily be learned if you put in the effort. I was 24 years old when I kissed a girl for the first time, and after a while of making out, grabbing each other etc, I told her she was my first, and she was surprised, said she couldn't tell, etc. In no way did it hinder anything with her, she was actually wanting to take it further into sex, but I broke things with her... it just wasn't right for me. My whole point is, being a virgin, having no experience, etc, doesn't really matter. What matters is what is on your head, and your attitude, which needs a major tune-up. Now since September last year I have been on a relationship with another girl, and again, my lack of experience has been a non-issue so far. Actually it has been a good thing, we are both pretty religious etc... Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I'm 4.75.....5 on a good day..so way below average in length... also below average girth (4). As well as being a virgin i've never kissed a girl before. So I will not be able to "make up for it" in other ways(funny how the women who say size doesnt matter always mutter in the same breath how the man can "make up" for it in other ways,as if it is a shortcoming or handicap). I won't have "good performance" or "stamina" I'm not gonna know how to eat a girl.I will probably be a klutz with my hands hooking up because its so new to me. So how in the hell am i ever supposed to get a girl to stick around considering how important sex is,even by nice, respectable women on this forum? The first time I had sex with a girl I blew her mind, she assumed I wasn't a virgin and it was only after a few months of dating that I told her. My first few sexual experiences were complete utter failures that caused huge insecurities with me, when I started dating my ex I cast my insecurities aside and we had mind blowing sex despite me being a virgin and inexperienced. Lol first few times she was in the mood I was so nervous I kept losing my erection and made excuses to avoid it. My personality growing up was shy guy, I was never popular and always quiet especially with girls. This changed my sophomore - junior year of high school when I decided I didn't like who I really was. Started to fake my confidence until I really did become confident, I still have my nice/shy guy traits but girls dont get to see that until well into the relationship. Your situation now is meaningless in the grand scheme of things, It can change quickly just like mine did but it all starts with your perspective and attitude. Link to comment
Natasha24 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I don't think "sexual compatibility" is the same as "able to make me orgasm". Do you enjoy sex with him, even if you don't orgasm? Does he turn you on? Do you look forward to having sex with him? Does he make you feel wanted/sexy? Is he open to trying new things, and doing what you need to enjoy sex? If yes, then I think you should stick it out a little longer. You've only been with him a few months, you need more time to figure each other out. It's great that your ex was able to make you orgasm so quickly, but you can't base all your future sexual endeavours on your past. If you keep focussing on "No one makes me orgasm like my ex did", then you'll never give anyone a long enough chance to try, and you might miss out on something great. I know exactly what you're talking about. My ex could make me orgasm like crazy, but my current guy can't. That doesn't mean I'm going to dump him. I love fooling around with him and it takes time for people to figure out each other's bodies. I think you will regret it if you leave this guy over this one issue, because you haven't given it a chance to fix itself yet. Link to comment
ConfusedVirgin Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 let me guess....guy number 1's penis was huge and guy number 2's isn't? Link to comment
Natasha24 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 let me guess....guy number 1's penis was huge and guy number 2's isn't? No, it has nothing to do with that. I've never been able to orgasm from intercourse. I was referring to all the other things we did (oral, fingering, etc) Link to comment
ConfusedVirgin Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 so number 1 was just more attentive and knew what to do with his hands and tongue better? size had nothing at all to do with the attraction and all that? Link to comment
EQIQ Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 so number 1 was just more attentive and knew what to do with his hands and tongue better? size had nothing at all to do with the attraction and all that? Natasha let me spare you some typing. No, it had nothing to do with it. Link to comment
Coconut Twin Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Please do yourself a favor' date=' and look deep into yourself, and into that section in your brain that contains all information about sex, and press Shift+Delete and click Yes.[/quote'] Oh man I hate using these abbreviations but... LMAO!! Link to comment
broken1414 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 To the moon: Hmmm....sounds like we might be stuck in very similar situations. I'm gonna save myself some typing and tell you to check out a few of my lastest posts: Hang in there!! Nice guys are hard to find! (even if they don't sexually satisfy you!) Broken1414 Link to comment
rustyskyline Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I'm 4.75.....5 on a good day..so way below average in length... also below average girth (4). As well as being a virgin i've never kissed a girl before. So I will not be able to "make up for it" in other ways(funny how the women who say size doesnt matter always mutter in the same breath how the man can "make up" for it in other ways,as if it is a shortcoming or handicap). I won't have "good performance" or "stamina" I'm not gonna know how to eat a girl.I will probably be a klutz with my hands hooking up because its so new to me. So how in the hell am i ever supposed to get a girl to stick around considering how important sex is,even by nice, respectable women on this forum? Where are you getting your stats, Ebony Magazine? Congratulations on being about average on a good day. Link to comment
Coconut Twin Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Where are you getting your stats, Ebony Magazine? . I really hope you're joking... Link to comment
ConfusedVirgin Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I really hope you're joking... im not sure what this is supposed to mean but it feels like an insult towards my size and I do not appreciate that. Link to comment
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