Yuk. Feel sick

[Dinocaz]

HI PTB just read through this thread - no real point going over some of the accusations that were thrown at you (incorrectly imo) it is so sad in the end when a long relationship ends. Maybe you needed that 1 last meeting, as you said makes them real and not just what we imagine they are with the passage of time. I think it is very wise if you ever get a similar encounter to decline "lunch" or what ever it is. Why expose yourelf to more sadness and more pain. The only way forward is on our own, until we meet somone who will so overtake what was in the past.

 

And yep with LT RS it is never clear cut. I have been disconnecting myself from my past and my ex for months now, still doing it, but making much progress. And oh my oh my you WILL meet somone who will love you and make you feel so alive in a way your ex never could or never will. Look forward to that day and in the meantime start enjoying your own life and the many freedoms being single gives us. Wish you well

[journeynow]

I'm feeling calm but sad- seeing him made him more human and less of a construct of my mind if you know what I mean. I think when you think about things so much you create wha you think they are thinking and what you think their motivations are etc etc.

 

This has been my experience, too, playstheblues. Contact and NC both have their painful sides, but having some contact (especially if the "dumpee" has some control over when it occurs) has this aspect to it that you mention. I found it helped ground me in the present, and work through my emotions about that (on my own. I did not discuss my feelings with him). We don't bring up old intimate things between us, though, I think more from his refusal at the start, and now I'm not inclined. We do get together every so often, but just to catch up in the present and never to reminisce.