I broke NC and now i am even more confused

[Blondie176]

I went 12 days without contact, then i caved, i miss him so much i wanted to hear his voice so badly, we spoke for ages, i really made a bit of a show of myself, i cried, i ranted, he cried too, he has "moved on" with a new woman but he kept saying he still loved me.that he never stopped loving me and that he has made a terrible mistake, he said he isnt sure they are right for each other,he said he didnt want me to be hurting, yet he is still with her, i dont understand how he can say all that and still be with her. What do I do now?

[DylanNotorious]

You don't do anything further that's what you do. You now have the information that you need to move on. He's with someone else, and even tho he "says" he's not happy, he chose to be with her and not with you. So let him deal with his whole situation on his own. Don't make it easy for him to come crawling back.

[dietcokenom]

I agree with Dylan. He has made his decision and you just need to respect that. I have had friends who have been in other relationship but eventually realize they want their ex.

 

Don't be his other option when things go bad. He's made it clear and you need to walk away.

[pippy longstocking]

do nothing

 

 

put yourself in a different position ..your with a new man and unsure if it is right ...you ex is on "standby" ( great to have the choice huh) but then your ex goes on and on and calls and tries to win you back , cries, protests and all the rest of the crazy town stuff...

 

 

who you ging to stick with ?

 

so back off...say and do nothing ..

 

let him come and get you if he wants to ..don't disrespect yourself and lay yourself down on the line for anyone to pick you and drop you when they feel like it.

 

he knows how you feel ..

 

now walk away ..

[MasterPo]

You don't do anything further that's what you do. You now have the information that you need to move on. He's with someone else, and even tho he "says" he's not happy, he chose to be with her and not with you. So let him deal with his whole situation on his own. Don't make it easy for him to come crawling back.

 

Yup. That says it all. Hard to hear and harder to do but I agree.

[Blondie176]

Do nothing, sounds so simple doesnt it?

 

But i know you guys are right, its exactly what i would advice anyone in a similar position, not so easy to take my own advice though.

 

I really did sink to a pathetic mess, i didnt beg but my tears might have done that for me i think. He knows how i feel, that much i know, i gave it my all, literally, i am exhausted mentally and physically from this whole mess.

 

I have become the needy ex..this sucks

 

Thank you for taking the time to reply xxx

[Blondie176]

do nothing

 

 

put yourself in a different position ..your with a new man and unsure if it is right ...you ex is on "standby" ( great to have the choice huh) but then your ex goes on and on and calls and tries to win you back , cries, protests and all the rest of the crazy town stuff...

 

 

who you ging to stick with ?

 

so back off...say and do nothing ..

 

let him come and get you if he wants to ..don't disrespect yourself and lay yourself down on the line for anyone to pick you and drop you when they feel like it.

 

he knows how you feel ..

 

now walk away ..

 

This is what my head is telling me, i just wish my heart would hear it.

 

Thanks xxx

[Blondie176]

So let him deal with his whole situation on his own. Don't make it easy for him to come crawling back.

 

I did get the feeling a few times that he wanted to talk about the issues between them, with me but he kept saying stuff like, 'You dont want to hear about all that' and i didnt push to find out what the issues were. For 2 years we were each others sounding boards, like all couples who tell their worries and problems to each other, maybe he just wanted that side of me for the evening. IDK.

[dietcokenom]

Do nothing, sounds so simple doesnt it?

 

But i know you guys are right, its exactly what i would advice anyone in a similar position, not so easy to take my own advice though.

 

I really did sink to a pathetic mess, i didnt beg but my tears might have done that for me i think. He knows how i feel, that much i know, i gave it my all, literally, i am exhausted mentally and physically from this whole mess.

 

I have become the needy ex..this sucks

 

Thank you for taking the time to reply xxx

 

You know what, you gave him your heart and it sucks when they don't realise how much love we gave them. I feel the same way. I went to his house to get my things and balled my eyes out, told me 'I WOULD CHANGE', called him god knows how many times, cried some more etc.

 

It does get exhausting and I don't think we should allow ourselves to become like this. It's easy saying stay away, but I know how difficult it is. Just keep strong. I've given myself a 2 week deadline which will probably end up failing but in my head, that's all I'm going to allow. Maybe doing something liek that may help?

[pippy longstocking]

Do nothing, sounds so simple doesnt it?

 

it does darling , but it is like a daily hell isn't it ..bless your heart

 

I am on nearly 6 months of doing nothing and on occasions I have been on here begging for someone to stop me

or mulling it over in private with the good folk of this forum ..I ride it out ..I feel despair , I feel like it is unreal almost ..like I can;t believe it has all happened ..

 

darling ...if he wants you or if mine wants me ..they will come and get us ok ..

 

be strong ..for the blondes

[Sanders24]

What you need to do is understand the term; Actions over words.

 

And his actions are speaking to you in a loud volume.

 

Dont make this transition easier for him and your hurt even bigger.

[Blondie176]

You know what, you gave him your heart and it sucks when they don't realise how much love we gave them. I feel the same way. I went to his house to get my things and balled my eyes out, told me 'I WOULD CHANGE', called him god knows how many times, cried some more etc.

 

It does get exhausting and I don't think we should allow ourselves to become like this. It's easy saying stay away, but I know how difficult it is. Just keep strong. I've given myself a 2 week deadline which will probably end up failing but in my head, that's all I'm going to allow. Maybe doing something liek that may help?

 

I wish i could not allow myself to be like this, i really do. Last night i embarrassed myself, i swear i have lost the plot, pathetic doesnt really sum it up really, but at least he knows how i feel, thats all i can take from it and now i need to make dam sure i NEVER ever lose it like that again.

 

He still loves me, he made a terrible mistake... what BS.. he is with her now at a family function while i am bursting into tears every other minute.

 

I am so tired, my mind wont shut up, i am analising every single word he said, imagining them together and so on, self torture = me. I dont think i am strong enough to have a deadline and then move on, i wish i was, but i was in so deep, i think i am in for a bumpy long road ahead.

 

I hope the 2 week thing works for you though xxx

[Blondie176]

it does darling , but it is like a daily hell isn't it ..bless your heart

 

I am on nearly 6 months of doing nothing and on occasions I have been on here begging for someone to stop me

or mulling it over in private with the good folk of this forum ..I ride it out ..I feel despair , I feel like it is unreal almost ..like I can;t believe it has all happened ..

 

darling ...if he wants you or if mine wants me ..they will come and get us ok ..

 

be strong ..for the blondes

 

Thank you x

 

I feel like i am in hell, i dont think i can go any lower now so i guess the only way is up. I have pretty much used up every last ounce of energy i have on him, i dont think i can do it anymore, so thats probably good because it means no repeats of last night.

I wish i could sleep though, i am wondering if the lack of sleep over the past fortnight is making me more emotional, my head is thumping, i feel sick, my stomach is hungry but i am not, i am anxious and just want to sleep but everytime i close my eyes he is there, its like i am being haunted.

 

Thank god he cannot see me at the mo....i am a mess xxx

[Blondie176]

What you need to do is understand the term; Actions over words.

 

And his actions are speaking to you in a loud volume.

 

Dont make this transition easier for him and your hurt even bigger.

 

Aint they just!

 

 

[Sanders24]

Aint they just!

 

 

 

Yeah, I know this isnt easy to take in but from my experience, this kind of reality slaps are essential so you can save yourself from a world of hurt. I went through this myself 6 months ago.

[Blondie176]

Yeah, I know this isnt easy to take in but from my experience, this kind of reality slaps are essential so you can save yourself from a world of hurt. I went through this myself 6 months ago.

I know what you're saying, i really do, right now i feel like i have been ten rounds with Rocky, a few more slaps of reality wont hurt lol

[pippy longstocking]

Thank you x

 

I feel like i am in hell, i dont think i can go any lower now so i guess the only way is up. I have pretty much used up every last ounce of energy i have on him, i dont think i can do it anymore, so thats probably good because it means no repeats of last night.

I wish i could sleep though, i am wondering if the lack of sleep over the past fortnight is making me more emotional, my head is thumping, i feel sick, my stomach is hungry but i am not, i am anxious and just want to sleep but everytime i close my eyes he is there, its like i am being haunted.

 

Thank god he cannot see me at the mo....i am a mess xxx

 

 

oh the physical complaints that come with heartbreak can be as damning as the emotional side of things. This forum should be on a diet site ...I think we would all win awards for the weight loss we have all gone through.

 

I remember when I joined a poster saying she actually had botox on her eyes because she had cried so much she had caused herself damage.

 

the lack of sleep and food and the continual thoughts make you weak and unable to find any clarity at all ..that is why it always better to try and do nothing for a couple of weeks to at least gain a little clarity on the split and the next move you should make if there is a next move..

 

but no

 

there is a constant queue to crazy town

[MasterPo]

I wish I could say something hopeful or impart knowledge but I cannot. I pray your pain subsides and you do the healing process in a timely manner. Take care of yourself; exercise if you can, eat well and get those emotions out (crying, screaming, bleating, etc.). Let us know if you need a push or an #$#$#$ chewing , no problem . I wish you luck.

[Blondie176]

oh the physical complaints that come with heartbreak can be as damning as the emotional side of things. This forum should be on a diet site ...I think we would all win awards for the weight loss we have all gone through.

 

I remember when I joined a poster saying she actually had botox on her eyes because she had cried so much she had caused herself damage.

 

the lack of sleep and food and the continual thoughts make you weak and unable to find any clarity at all ..that is why it always better to try and do nothing for a couple of weeks to at least gain a little clarity on the split and the next move you should make if there is a next move..

 

but no

 

there is a constant queue to crazy town I was thinking earlier back to when i was a teenager ( long time ago now lol) and remembering my first heart breaks. I was so in love the world had ended for me, i cried into my pillow and the next weekend i was out on pull lol I wish i had my teen mind set still.

[Blondie176]

I wish I could say something hopeful or impart knowledge but I cannot. I pray your pain subsides and you do the healing process in a timely manner. Take care of yourself; exercise if you can, eat well and get those emotions out (crying, screaming, bleating, etc.). Let us know if you need a push or an #$#$#$ chewing , no problem . I wish you luck.

Aw thanks ever so much x

 

The main physical issue at the mo is not being able to sleep, for 2 weeks now i have lay awake almost all night, until 4am or there abouts, tossing and turning, crying, having rushes of panic run through me as the thoughts hit. Then i manage to drop off and i am not even asleep properly, i am aware every time i turn over, so when the alarm goes off at 7 for work i am in zombie mode. Ive read and been told by people to get out there, go live..trouble is i have no energy whats so ever, i am eating, i am chewing mouthfuls for what seems like forever and dont really feel like i want it, but i am eating, i feel dizzy enough from the lack of sleep without adding in starvation too.

 

Im tempted to visit the doctor and ask for some sleeping pills, id happily sleep through the next couple of months if i could.

 

I wish i hadnt of contacted him last night, all it has done is make me more confused. I was hardly getting better at 12 days NC but now i just feel i am worse than i was on day 1 of NC last time. I have to do the whole 12 days again now to catch up to where i was. I hate this whole thing.

[pippy longstocking]

I was thinking earlier back to when i was a teenager ( long time ago now lol) and remembering my first heart breaks. I was so in love the world had ended for me, i cried into my pillow and the next weekend i was out on pull lol I wish i had my teen mind set still.

 

hahaha oh yeah it was soooooooooooo much easier hey

[Blondie176]

hahaha oh yeah it was soooooooooooo much easier hey

Most definitely

 

The good news from me today is that i slept, finally yay! I was in bed at 8pm last night ( a Saturday night, bed by 8pm hmm rock n roll haha ) i needed that sleep so badly. Ive heard nothing from him, i dont know * * * Friday night was about now, saying he loved me... then spending the weekend with the new woman..uhh.

 

Anyway, do nothing is what i keep saying to myself when i get the urge to ring him, i just feel lost and alone with out him.

 

He knows how i feel, the ball is in his court, but if i am honest i dont even know if i could go there again now, he bedded another woman, i know we were already split up but still, it kind of makes me feel like what we had was fake. IDK

 

Anyway, i in in NC, i have played all my cards, i am out of moves.

 

xxx

[pippy longstocking]

hey blondie is back and back with vengeance

 

can't fault a word you just said

 

 

good for you girl ..get that strength ..its coming xxx

[Blondie176]

haha aww thanks a lot xxx

 

I think sleeping last night has given me new strength, my head was just fried with 2 weeks of this BS and then Friday nights convo.. just too much crap. I cant do it anymore. I wont lie though, i so want him to contact me, but as much as i want that i know realistically that even that would come with a whole new * * * * * storm...right now i cant be bothered with it all.

 

Uhh men!

 

How are you this evening Shooting Star? xxx

[pippy longstocking]

I am feeling a lot stronger then two days ago ..I had a bit of a dip to say the least , found myself laid in bed crying , those proper heart broken sobs and that black world you go into ..

 

I have never gone through this blondie ..OH I have had pain and heartbreak , infact some shocking stuff has gone on , but 6 months down the line I am usually back in the saddle hahaha

 

but this ..well ..maybe at 45 I just had my "first love" ..

 

I am exhausted with it all , and am making a huge effort to accept this and get on with life ...it has been a long time coming though ..but I am on the edge I hope of just getting on with it now .

 

do I want him back ? ..hell yeah

 

but he has to want to and I accept there is not a lot I can do to make him !

 

really blondie you wouldn't wish this on your worst enemy would you !