I hope someone can help me!

[Goddess4ever]

Okay....jist of the situation. I am interested in getting to know a guy in one of my classes. He looks at me ALL the time throughout class. He takes the same train as me home. He always walks ahead of me...but always turns around to look at me. I have tried smiling at him, but I think he either a)looks away before he can see me smile or b)Just isn't getting it. I think I make him nervous. I sit beside him (well almost) in class...and he seems nervous. He fiddles with his hands, his clothes, his hair....drops his pen ALOT!

 

Now, I am not normally a shy person by any means....I consider myself quite outgoing, I like to talk (Yes, I am a good listener too)...I have a dry/sarcastic sense of humor, that is usally in the gutter (lol). However, whenever I try to talk to him, I totally freeze, then end up not talking to him at all. AND unless my wiring is off...it SEEMS like he wants to talk to me too, but is too nervous. So I made up my mind, and have decided that I am just going to talk to him next class. HOWEVER, I am not sure where to go with the potential conversation. I just want to be light and casual...like "hey how's it going......how do you find the class...etc, etc"

 

There are 2 things that I think about though.

 

1)Does anyone find it weird to have someone just start talking to them....1 month into the class?

 

2)He seems nervous or really shy around me, and I don't want to come on too strong...and scare him away. I hate those "akward pauses" that sometimes happen....it makes me uncomfortable. I mean I sit there and think....if I say "hey how are you?" The most common responce is "good/fine, and you?". BUT if I make him nervous...I could just end up with a "fine" or "good"...and that's it. From there....should I ask another question....or leave it at that, and try again the next time?

 

 

Like I said, I don't want to freak him out....while at the same time, not feel rejected if he is too shy or nervous to have the conversation. I haven't had to do this kinda thing for 5 years....so I feel really new at this "game". Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance!

[Shinobie]

Iono it sounds like he likes u so i would just talk to him in the best way possible.Maybe like talking about something in class or ask for help from him if he seems like a semi smart person that would be good.Cause if he constantly looks at u and looks away really fast that usually means a guy likes u.LIke i always catching myself looking at a girl when i like her constantly so i think u should talk to him in any way possible.

[PunkPyro912]

wow you really planned things out. by him getitng nervous aruond you and such my best guess is that he likes you as well. when starting a conversation you shold just start with simple stuff. like yuo said, hey how are ya and all that and just talk about things that have been happening. like class or outside school or stuff like that. keep it light and after a whlie if you guys become friends you could talk a little more and maybe ask him for a casual lunch out or something. and as for people thinking it weird that people just come up and tlak to them...i dont think its that bad. in my perspective, it just means they wanna talk...so i talk back.

[mademoiselle_amelie]

Hi!

 

Ok, I would start by just saying hi and smiling whenever you see him in class. This will break the ice and let him know that you are friendly and interested.

 

As Punk mentioned, from there you can start bringing in other simple stuff like stuff that sgoing on in class, tests, assignment etc.

 

Maybe this could lead to a stuy date?!

 

Keep up the subtle hints and I'm sure that if he is interested he will start trying to talk to you more aswell.

 

Hope it all works out!

 

amelie x

[johnagent1911]

If you sit next to him maybe you can ask something about class? Notes? I'm sure you can think of something. It should be easy enough.

[nicholascrack]

Goddess,

 

I know exactly what you mean. You're in a class of like fifty people and you don't want to look like some weirdo coming up to a person and just striking up a conversation. I'm in the same boat. There is this gorgeous girl in one of my classes and I feel like there is a bit of attraction there. I'm just not sure what to do. Like you, I've been out of the "game" for a while.

 

It's hard when you're in post-secondary. In high school it was so much easier...

 

Nicholas

[Goddess4ever]

It is hard in Post Secondary! I did try to ask about notes (grrrr)....I missed 2 points in the slide...and thought this was the perfect opportunity. SO I turned to him (to ask if he had the 2 points)...and he had already put his stuff away! I don't want to be the inquisition with him (ie 20 questions)......but if he is shy, and doesn't say much, I know I will end up feeling like he isn't interested. Personally, unless my wiring is really off, I think he is "interested" in me.

 

All of my friends say "Guys are just so dumb with these things".....and believe me, I try to defend them! But I have tried smiling at him, getting eye contact, etc....and it is like he is scared of me! Then it makes me doubt if he does "like" me. I mean really.....are guys just clueless when it comes to this stuff? I was hoping he would just talk to me.......as I (in the past) have always had to initiate everything...the conversation, the asking for phone #, the date, etc. But obviously, that isn't going to happen.

 

I find it frustrating....like what goes on in his head. "Hey, I like that girl. I would like to get to know her better.....so I think the best course of action is to JUST look at her all the time....but make sure she doesn't see me" I mean HELLO!

 

P.S--he is not really that subtle......I think he thinks he is being all sneaky...but I see him look everytime!

[johnagent1911]

Uh maybe he doesn't want to set himself up? Maybe he thinks you might not 'like' him so then he doesn't try. Guys aren't dumb they just don't want to look like a fool if the girl he likes, rejects him. Damn I swear if I knew a girl liked me and was shy I'd throw all the 'rules' away and try for it. What do you have to lose? I'm sure you can think of ANYTHING that will make him talk to you.