VickiRose Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Okay, so I have this friend... Anyways, today he was complaining to me that he always gets rejected by girls cause hes the nice guy and all girls just want jerks! (i personally dont want a jerk) That girls girls complain and cry to him when they breakup with their boyfriends, then they go back with their ex. No girls ever look at him as anything else besides a friend or nice guy.... The thing is that, its an oxymoron cause I LIKE HIM and hes complaining to me, doing the same thing to me that those girls are doing to him.... He doesnt want a girlfriend..... But how do you get someone to notice that what they are looking for, is right in from of them! Link to comment
jchan Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 it's true that ppl like these kinda lack the self esteem but, here's one thing you gotta ask yourself, if you like him you should tell him about it. some girls would prolly let the guy have it, eg; tell him off about it, and make him wonder why you're mad at him, and have him realize that someone truly special is right under his nose all this time Link to comment
Tom_Bombadil Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 This situation sounds all too familiar. Every nice guy has a girl he complains to about the girl he wants. Usually what we want is right in front of our face, only we doesn't know it. Have you tried dropping hints? Link to comment
BrokenWalter Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I too suffered from nice guy sindrome. The truth is is that there are girls who genuinely like you for you and actually like a nice guy (like you). There are a lot of girls who do like jerks (admit it, its truth), but definatly not all. Basically I think it is a self esteam issue on the girls part when they go for a jerk. The trick isn't really to find a girl who wants a nice guy, it is to find a girl who wants a nice guy and you at the same time, that's why it's actually hard. For your problem: If you like this guy, and think of him as more than a friend, you have to let him know, somehow. Sitting back and letting him complain to you all the time isn't going to make you any happier. Maybe he hasn't seen you in "that way" before, but he probably hasn't given himself the chance to. He obviously has some connection with you since he "complains" and tells you how he's feeling (guys don't usually do a lot of that). So make a move. I suggest a suttle one. Put your hand on his leg if you are sitting alone somewhere, do something like that... safe. If he reacts surprised that doesn't mean "no" for sure, since now he has a chance to start thinking of you differently. So suttle is good because at the same time if small .. sweet advances... just don't work, and he doesn't respond, it wont make the friendship weird either. If he does respond positively then obviously go further. If he is warming up, go for a kiss even, or maybe he will kiss you, but like you said he suffers from nice guy sindrome so don't count-out making the move yourself. But if you don't do something, and do it quick, you will never know and will regret doing nothing. Good luck. Link to comment
VickiRose Posted October 5, 2004 Author Share Posted October 5, 2004 Hey thanks, guys for your posts, much appreciated!!! Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 hear hear! show the nice guy some love. that will cease his complaining too. Link to comment
Mix Maxster Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Ok OMG what is this Dawson's Creek? MY GOD this sounds like Dawson and Joey. Anyways, listen the guy would probably be surprised if you told him anything. He could even be TOO nice in a sense and be afraid to wreck the relationship you two have. He probably means that too, but really how do you know that what he wants is right infront of him and isn't what you want? The complaining aspect probably isn't, but in all honesty? I don't think ANY woman likes jerks, they just like the "good qualities" of a jerk and hate the bad of the nice guy. Who is this guy, does he have e-mail? If he does he needs my help and I'd be glad to hook him up with something. Let me know. Link to comment
VickiRose Posted October 5, 2004 Author Share Posted October 5, 2004 Mix Maxster, I guess you got it right, its not really what he wants but what I want... About his email? Huh? What do you mean by saying, I'd be glad to hook him up with something Link to comment
Mix Maxster Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 Oh, well, I would like to help the guy out is all, get him to "stop complaining" about his "luck with women". But that is only IF he is willing to do actually go out and do something about it. Link to comment
VickiRose Posted October 6, 2004 Author Share Posted October 6, 2004 This might sound dumb.... But I sent him the book 'no more mr nice guy' as gift, so he will get over the nice guy syndrome.... I have come to the conclusion that we arnt going to be any more than friends and such... He doesnt want a girlfriend "even though hes never had one" Link to comment
Shinobie Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 Ya you are going to have too really show him u like him and express it to him.Us nice guys will not take any hints because we are way too stupid to notice that girl likes us.Just look at me im really nice to girls and i have never had a girlfriend so yah most of us are pretty stupid when it comes to women Link to comment
VickiRose Posted October 7, 2004 Author Share Posted October 7, 2004 Okay Thanks!!! yourfaceinmanila, & Shinobie..... Also yourfaceinmanila thats a really cool idea... I think I'll use it... Link to comment
Alabama Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 I hope you solve your dilema! Good luck! Remember, carpi diem (sieze the day)! Link to comment
frizzle Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 I think you should tell him. The problem is not with him being a nice guy but the girls he is interested in have low self esteem. They go for jerks because they convince themselves they can turn the jerks into nice guys with their love. In reality it doesn't happen because well, they're jerks. There was a nice quote I read somewhere "after all a girl who feels like crap inside is most likely to bond with someone who agrees with her" Link to comment
Caldus Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 This might sound dumb.... But I sent him the book 'no more mr nice guy' as gift, so he will get over the nice guy syndrome.... I have come to the conclusion that we arnt going to be any more than friends and such... He doesnt want a girlfriend "even though hes never had one" I'm confused. He was complaining to you yet he claims he does not want a girlfriend. What was the purpose of him complaining to you then? it's true that ppl like these kinda lack the self esteem That is not true. There are many nice guys who actually have good self-esteem as well. Link to comment
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