How to just lay it on the line?

[clint88]

I have been talking to this one girl online. We had plans to meet before but unfortunately it fell through between both of us. I said we should do something again soon and she agreed and gave me her number. The other day I asked a few questions and she answered but then when I asked about hanging out she didn't reply. So now I'm wondering if she changed her mind. I am wanting to just lay it on teh line and ask if she has any interest at all. What's the best way to sya this without looking aggressive or desperate?

[LDRohnos]

Well, when a relationship is based online...chances are it's of low priority in the grand scheme of things. I would give her some time, maybe a week, to respond to you. She could be busy, she could be debating if she wants progress the relationship if even at all.

 

If she does, great! Make a serious attempt to get the relationship off of the internet and firmly into reality, recommend NOT using facebook/online dating sites/e-mail/texting as a method of communication. People use these forums to talk to aquaintences or long lost friends. This all depends of course on how long you've been talking, if it's been a few weeks already with numerous "conversations" online and she's unwilling to move it beyond that, then she just isn't and you shouldn't waste any more time on her.

[rusty_boi]

I dont like being negative but i think this one is going no where. Ive always lived by the saying of, if someone wants to date you bad enough they will make it happen. This includes things like replying to being asked out, etc. If you really wanna follow up with it though, i would take her power away from her. Say something like "Let me know if your free for that coffee, otherwise best of luck with everything."

[The_Seeker]

I dont like being negative but i think this one is going no where. Ive always lived by the saying of, if someone wants to date you bad enough they will make it happen. This includes things like replying to being asked out, etc. If you really wanna follow up with it though, i would take her power away from her. Say something like "Let me know if your free for that coffee, otherwise best of luck with everything."

 

Nope. Wrong.

 

If you want to make a date, you give a time and place. If she doesn't respond, no need to wish her best of luck or whatever. Just shrug it off and move on. Ask another girl out. If she contacts you, say "I'm not interested."

 

She is trying to challenge you. If you like challenge. Go for it. But for me personally, I don't want to deal with that all my life. So I move onto the next.

 

But that's just me.

[SuperDuper]

Here's a personal tip, follow it if you'd like:

 

When I text a girl I keep it short and sweet. Typically I have one of two objectives, the first being to build rapport or comfort. Maybe I'll send her a joke or a funny story that happened that day. She'll send something funny back and then I'll leave it with a "Well I'm heading out the door but we'll be talking soon".

 

I send texts like these once a week or once every two weeks. Just to show I'm thinking about them and to maintain some comfort between us.

 

The second reason I send a text is to set up a date. I don't ask her when she's free or if she'd like to "go on a date". I make the plans, I set the time and I ask her to tag along with me. Further in the relationship I find it's ok to be less casual about it but early on I think it's the guy's responsibility to make solid plans and invite the girl along.

 

I try not to blend my rapport/invitation texts together, because it sometimes comes accross as try-hard by making her laugh, and then looking for a break in the conversation to ask her out. This is just my opinion based on experience, take what you want from it.