Bastard for telling my girlfriend of 4 years that it's over?

[zb]

Well I have seen the girl that has my interest two times now...friday night and tonight.....I fell happier now then I have all year........ I just don't know how to tell my fiancee it is over, I mean she seems to have put me on the shelf for the last school...... but I still don't want her to get hurt..........the school year is over........the girl I like is going on a trip during the summer but she wants to wait until the next school year to actually date which is a good idea because it allows healing time for me...........I am so happy but, my family seems to really want me to stay with my fiancee because they think she is such a sweet girl.......I am a good son but I can't stay with someone just because my parents like them, and in time they will like the girl I am with...........am I a bastard for telling my girl friend of 4 years that it is over or is she in the wrong for leaving me to myself this last year..........I don't think I love her anymore but I still care about her well being.............

[sisterlynch]

We fall in and out of love many times in our lives. It is difficult to sustain the passion in an intimate relationship, it is possible to stay close to people throughout your life, however, you must make a priority of it.

 

It is hard to tell if you have made the right choice, however, it is good to follow your heart. Learn to judge people's actions rather than their words alone to know the truth.

[SwingFox]

Hi Balhatain,

 

Thank you for coming back to us with your update. I am pleased to hear that you're doing so good and that things start to work well with your new girl.

 

I have a direct suggestion for you that might work for you and your ex g/f, but first of all I would like to compliment you on the remark that you made regarding not staying in a relationship because your family would like that. So many other young people would stay in a relationship for that reason. You make a stand and say 'no' to that, which I very much appreciate. It looks like that you also live by the rule: "The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy." Well done and very brave!

 

Now my suggestion. You have waited for your ex g/f to come back to you for quite some time now. Only you can decide how long you would wait and obviously you have waited long enough. I would suggest that you don't blame her for breaking up, but I would merely focus on how you guys grew apart. You are two different persons and you have a few differences that are hard to overcome. You have tried to wait for her, so that she can sort herself out. You have tried to stay with her, but it didn't work. My suggestion is to talk to her and to end with the words: "Do you have any question?" If she does listen to her again and answer all her question in an honest way. That way she will find closure and she might appreciate (though later) that you gave her that closure.

 

I hope that this helps you and I wish you good luck to pull this through.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Alla_Aleks]

Balhatain,

no one can tell our heart whom we have to love. It' s only you who can decide whom to stay with.

You are too young to stay with one gf for the rest of your life. You both will regret that you didn't have a chance to choose each other among a lot of others.

So tell your gf tactfully that you are over. And decide what you need further.

Good luck