lonely

[khujo56]

Hi Guys

 

I've been single for about 3 years now. the first year was fun but after that i started to get lonely. on the occasion i would meet a girl but nothing would come of it. either they are straight up not interested in me or want just to be friends. lately i've been worrying because all my friends are engaged or married or have girl friends. i am so afraid that i won't find a girlfriend. i lost all my confidence because i feel women don't find me attractive..not to sound bold. but that's how i feel. i am just scared of living my life without that special girl in my life ...sorry to be so depressing but it's how i feel..i'm not motivated to do anything anymore.

[Tinkerbell]

Now's the time to listen to the lyrics of one all time favorite bands, Brand New:

You're never going to find it if you're looking for it.

 

Simple, but true. Don't set out every day looking for love, and don't set yourself a time limit to find that special someone. So what if your friends are already tying the knot? Isn't it better to wait and find the one person you're perfect for rather than settle down with someone who isn't even all that great? Confidence is key here: Both in your attitude towards yourself and relationships. When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself that you're a sexy beast and a great catch, and that in due time you'll find an amazing girl. In the end, things will work out for the best, so try not to be envious towards your friends, but bask in their hapinness as well and look forward to the day when you'll be walking down the aisle.

~Tink

xxx

[JynX]

I was always taught: best things always happen when you least expect them. During the years that statement proved its worth. If you keep waiting and waiting for love to show up, most likely it never will. Before anything else, you have to be happy and secure about where you currently are, single or not. Hope this helps.

 

JyNx

[Scout]

To be honest, I was lamenting about the same problem today to Avman. He gave me some great advice that really struck a chord.

 

"Instead of looking for love, start looking out for yourself. Because that is when love will find you."

 

Think about it....when we're involved with projects or interests that we really enjoy, we open ourselves up to meeting like-minded people. Plus, we're in a great place mentally and emotionally, and that just sends out good karma and attracts people.

 

So, like you...I had stopped being motivated. I was (well, still am actually, but about to change that) holed up in my house because I work from home - I'm a writer. Avman suggested I start taking some writing classes, join a writer's group, just really throw myself into what I love the most, but open up to others that love it, too.

 

Another thing, I was saying "I just am tired of shouldering all my burdens alone. It would be so great to have a partner to get through the difficult times, and just have the company of someone being there." Avman gave me a reality check: he said that in lots of marriages, loneliness is still present. We absolutely must know how to take care of ourselves and be our own best friends. Or else, we're going to be pretty disappointed if we expect a partner to fulfill those needs.

 

What he says makes sense. I still feel lonely, but I know in my heart that I would also get equal happiness if I felt I was 100% capable of taking care of myself and having the life I want. So, even though my writing business is slowly getting off the ground and I'm starting to freak out a bit about money, I am not going to give up. This is something I have to do for myself, and I know that when I get through it, I will be a stronger person and ready for an equally strong person to have as a partner.

 

Sometimes, when we're really lonely, we're extra vulnerable to getting involved with someone who might not be that appropriate for us. So that's another reason to be in a good place in your life.

 

hugs, Scout

[2rublueeyes21]

I am sorry for your pain. I am going through a difficult time myself. If you need someone to talk to you can im me. -2rublueeyes

[Finch]

I'm sure many guys go through this situation so don't feel alone. You're just going to have to make more of an effort to make something of yourself at this time. You're going to have to be bold, daring, and creative if you want to get women but your current attitude isn't going to get you anybody. Why? You lack so much confidence that you would probably only get a sympathy date and that is it. Don't feel bad.. I've been like that too in the past. Then I read link removed . That simply just helped me understand more aspects of the form of attraction. I'm sure there is much that you'll disagree with on there but there is much that you can absorb and learn from on there as well.

 

I hope I was somewhat helpful. If you have any other questions I could give you better links to some stuff that changed my way of life.