Capricorn3 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 On milk flowers and splendor, a round sky fire burns While Sweet Baby Jesus rocks his ghost-manger in the sky I am all sad and wondering why It's such a beautiful day but only want to cry The Christ child rocks n rolls, Apollo's light will never return Before the cows come home and this day adjourns Oh sweet Efron let me be the Lucky One, pollinate my sticky saffron under the blazing sun So we may unite and live forever more, without pain and sadness that we had before Let our love not be dead in a tomb like Mr and Mrs Montague, never let our be done and when the light turns black and deep, may embers crackle lest we sleep Surrendering a left eye, then a right, to the marauders of dreams For nowhere in your roiling slumber can the endless horseman find his home Full of pain wand impossible sadness , here I shall forever rest, no more to roam alone It is now sad sweet Efron that roams alone, to seek again the horseman's love And as the horseman swiftly rides, he espies a solitary dove Held in a hawks jaw, no sign of life it gives Until the mighty clawed creature, dreading its own vice, yawps from knotty beak And the lifeless blood doth leak Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 WOW, Cap! That's brilliant. Just a note to my fellow mad cut-and-pasters, though: In my line (right above Cap's), "Until the mighty clawed creature, dreading its own vice, screams from knotty beak" I changed "screams" to "yawps"...because "screams" was just kind of meh. So make sure to change that bit next time around. YAWPS. I know Cap got to it faster than I could edit it. I'm slow on the edit draw. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 There ya go, I edited it to "yawped". Good stuff ToV! Btw, should that be "yawps" or "yawped"? Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Ha, I caught that, yes -- so I went back and turned MY "yawped" into "yawps"! (I was on the fence about tense -- another great rhyme, btw.) So now you have to go back and turn "yawped" into "yawps," in yours, I'm afraid! Sorry to make you do this, Cap. What a run-around! LOL! But I made it in the nick of time to make it "yawps", so I'm stoked! And now I'm sticking to it! (see my "reason for edit" below my post, hehe) Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Done! I love this poem!! lol Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 On milk flowers and splendor, a round sky fire burns While Sweet Baby Jesus rocks his ghost-manger in the sky I am all sad and wondering why It's such a beautiful day but only want to cry The Christ child rocks n rolls, Apollo's light will never return Before the cows come home and this day adjourns Oh sweet Efron let me be the Lucky One, pollinate my sticky saffron under the blazing sun So we may unite and live forever more, without pain and sadness that we had before Let our love not be dead in a tomb like Mr and Mrs Montague, never let our be done and when the light turns black and deep, may embers crackle lest we sleep Surrendering a left eye, then a right, to the marauders of dreams For nowhere in your roiling slumber can the endless horseman find his home Full of pain wand impossible sadness , here I shall forever rest, no more to roam alone It is now sad sweet Efron that roams alone, to seek again the horseman's love And as the horseman swiftly rides, he espies a solitary dove Held in a hawks jaw, no sign of life it gives Until the mighty clawed creature, dreading its own vice, yawps from knotty beak And the lifeless blood doth leak So justice is found where the proud eagles reign. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 No-one playing no more? On milk flowers and splendor, a round sky fire burns While Sweet Baby Jesus rocks his ghost-manger in the sky I am all sad and wondering why It's such a beautiful day but only want to cry The Christ child rocks n rolls, Apollo's light will never return Before the cows come home and this day adjourns Oh sweet Efron let me be the Lucky One, pollinate my sticky saffron under the blazing sun So we may unite and live forever more, without pain and sadness that we had before Let our love not be dead in a tomb like Mr and Mrs Montague, never let our be done and when the light turns black and deep, may embers crackle lest we sleep Surrendering a left eye, then a right, to the marauders of dreams For nowhere in your roiling slumber can the endless horseman find his home Full of pain wand impossible sadness , here I shall forever rest, no more to roam alone It is now sad sweet Efron that roams alone, to seek again the horseman's love And as the horseman swiftly rides, he espies a solitary dove Held in a hawks jaw, no sign of life it gives Until the mighty clawed creature, dreading its own vice, yawps from knotty beak And the lifeless blood doth leak So justice is found where the proud eagles reign. A clouded dream on an earthly night Hangs upon a crescent moon Link to comment
Donovan79 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 I adore the "yawped" line. Walter White would be proud. Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Share Posted April 23, 2012 On milk flowers and splendor, a round sky fire burns While Sweet Baby Jesus rocks his ghost-manger in the sky I am all sad and wondering why It's such a beautiful day but only want to cry The Christ child rocks n rolls, Apollo's light will never return Before the cows come home and this day adjourns Oh sweet Efron let me be the Lucky One, pollinate my sticky saffron under the blazing sun So we may unite and live forever more, without pain and sadness that we had before Let our love not be dead in a tomb like Mr and Mrs Montague, never let our be done and when the light turns black and deep, may embers crackle lest we sleep Surrendering a left eye, then a right, to the marauders of dreams For nowhere in your roiling slumber can the endless horseman find his home Full of pain wand impossible sadness , here I shall forever rest, no more to roam alone It is now sad sweet Efron that roams alone, to seek again the horseman's love And as the horseman swiftly rides, he espies a solitary dove Held in a hawks jaw, no sign of life it gives Until the mighty clawed creature, dreading its own vice, yawps from knotty beak And the lifeless blood doth leak So justice is found where the proud eagles reign. A clouded dream on an earthly night Hangs upon a crescent moon Where summer solstice meets Luna waning Link to comment
Moontiger Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 On milk flowers and splendor, a round sky fire burns While Sweet Baby Jesus rocks his ghost-manger in the sky I am all sad and wondering why It's such a beautiful day but only want to cry The Christ child rocks n rolls, Apollo's light will never return Before the cows come home and this day adjourns Oh sweet Efron let me be the Lucky One, pollinate my sticky saffron under the blazing sun So we may unite and live forever more, without pain and sadness that we had before Let our love not be dead in a tomb like Mr and Mrs Montague, never let our be done and when the light turns black and deep, may embers crackle lest we sleep Surrendering a left eye, then a right, to the marauders of dreams For nowhere in your roiling slumber can the endless horseman find his home Full of pain wand impossible sadness , here I shall forever rest, no more to roam alone It is now sad sweet Efron that roams alone, to seek again the horseman's love And as the horseman swiftly rides, he espies a solitary dove Held in a hawks jaw, no sign of life it gives Until the mighty clawed creature, dreading its own vice, yawps from knotty beak And the lifeless blood doth leak So justice is found where the proud eagles reign. A clouded dream on an earthly night Hangs upon a crescent moon Where summer solstice meets Luna waning Artemis aims her bow, the deer and sheep running Link to comment
Donovan79 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 On milk flowers and splendor, a round sky fire burns While Sweet Baby Jesus rocks his ghost-manger in the sky I am all sad and wondering why It's such a beautiful day but only want to cry The Christ child rocks n rolls, Apollo's light will never return Before the cows come home and this day adjourns Oh sweet Efron let me be the Lucky One, pollinate my sticky saffron under the blazing sun So we may unite and live forever more, without pain and sadness that we had before Let our love not be dead in a tomb like Mr and Mrs Montague, never let our be done and when the light turns black and deep, may embers crackle lest we sleep Surrendering a left eye, then a right, to the marauders of dreams For nowhere in your roiling slumber can the endless horseman find his home Full of pain wand impossible sadness , here I shall forever rest, no more to roam alone It is now sad sweet Efron that roams alone, to seek again the horseman's love And as the horseman swiftly rides, he espies a solitary dove Held in a hawks jaw, no sign of life it gives Until the mighty clawed creature, dreading its own vice, yawps from knotty beak And the lifeless blood doth leak So justice is found where the proud eagles reign. A clouded dream on an earthly night Hangs upon a crescent moon Where summer solstice meets Luna waning Artemis aims her bow, the deer and sheep running, As Rhyme and Rhythm cull their dwindling flock Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted April 24, 2012 Author Share Posted April 24, 2012 We should make up a pseudonym and enter these kinds of poems in contests. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 I adore the "yawped" line. Walter White would be proud. Why thank you. Walt Whitman might also nod in assent, d'you think? We should make up a pseudonym and enter these kinds of poems in contests. You mean, one collective pseudonym? On milk flowers and splendor, a round sky fire burns While Sweet Baby Jesus rocks his ghost-manger in the sky I am all sad and wondering why It's such a beautiful day but only want to cry The Christ child rocks n rolls, Apollo's light will never return Before the cows come home and this day adjourns Oh sweet Efron let me be the Lucky One, pollinate my sticky saffron under the blazing sun So we may unite and live forever more, without pain and sadness that we had before Let our love not be dead in a tomb like Mr and Mrs Montague, never let our be done and when the light turns black and deep, may embers crackle lest we sleep Surrendering a left eye, then a right, to the marauders of dreams For nowhere in your roiling slumber can the endless horseman find his home Full of pain wand impossible sadness , here I shall forever rest, no more to roam alone It is now sad sweet Efron that roams alone, to seek again the horseman's love And as the horseman swiftly rides, he espies a solitary dove Held in a hawks jaw, no sign of life it gives Until the mighty clawed creature, dreading its own vice, yawps from knotty beak And the lifeless blood doth leak So justice is found where the proud eagles reign. A clouded dream on an earthly night Hangs upon a crescent moon Where summer solstice meets Luna waning Artemis aims her bow, the deer and sheep running, As Rhyme and Rhythm cull their dwindling flock The pearl-white skin of Shantibella brings hand to drum, beat to Efron's heartbeat, Link to comment
Donovan79 Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 We should make up a pseudonym and enter these kinds of poems in contests. I keep hoping a budding singer/guitarist will turn up on this board, record it, and throw it on YouTube for us. Didn't someone recently post about being a musician?? Why thank you. Walt Whitman might also nod in assent, d'you think? Absolutely, especially as Walter White was paying homage to Walt Whitman... Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted April 24, 2012 Author Share Posted April 24, 2012 You mean, one collective pseudonym? Yes........... Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Absolutely, especially as Walter White was paying homage to Walt Whitman... Come to find, there are a few illustrious Walter Whites out there (one, fictional). I'm only familiar with the NAACP guy, and even then, not that familiar. So I'm not sure which one was invoking Walt Whitman. bluh Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 And actually, I'd like to hear this sung and played on the banjo. I love banjo. Link to comment
Donovan79 Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Come to find, there are a few illustrious Walter Whites out there (one, fictional). I'm only familiar with the NAACP guy, and even then, not that familiar. So I'm not sure which one was invoking Walt Whitman. bluh Breaking Bad is the best show ever made. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Hey, would anyone like to start a new poem? I think the one we have is freaking awesome and I want to see what else we can come up with! I'll even throw out an opening line: Under the purple lemon tree we talk and laugh of many things Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Under the purple lemon tree we talk and laugh of many things The stories are woven And fortunes are told Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Under the purple lemon tree we talk and laugh of many things The stories are woven And fortunes are told ^^ Maybe that should all be in one line.... ******** Under the purple lemon tree we talk and laugh of many things The stories are woven and fortunes are told Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Under the purple lemon tree we talk and laugh of many things The stories are woven And fortunes are told So honey child, harken to this one which never grows old. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Breaking Bad is the best show ever made. So I've been learning, reading up on it. I always learn so much stuff on this site. But Cheers'll be hard to top. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 ^^ Maybe that should all be in one line.... I was kinda wondering about that, myself...seeing as how we each get a line at a time (technically)...and maybe it works better as one? Check if you're still in the edit window! Don't do as I do...haha.... Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 ToV: You should edit your's now, as I edited it into one line (post #47) after I noticed it looked a little odd, lol. Link to comment
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