6 months after BU. Still love her.

[Nugs]

Hi folks

 

Haven't posted for a while but have been popping in to have a look. Have seen so many great posts and read such wise words about NC, breaking NC, birthdays, small things knocking you back when you think you are getting stronger, and how grief is not a linear process. All of them chime with me completely and it's so great to know-well like it says on the tin - I'm not alone (although it's sad so many other people are going through this).

 

I was dumped 6 months ago by the woman I loved more than life itself, was completely happy one day and utterly devastated the next. She met someone else and didn't feel the same any more after 18 years together. I have been through all the stages - and am still coming back to them again - and I suppose I'm doing OK on the surface, going out, socialising etc. It's a bit of an act though as I think about her all the time when I'm laughing on the outside. Fact is I still love her and would take her back; I really wish I didn't but it's the truth. She wouldn't have left me if she wasn't sure she had to - which doesn't make it any easier to bear. I also know from mutual friends that she is really (genuinely) upset about having hurt me so badly. Again, it doesn't help because I just can't hate her.

 

I'm telling you guys this because I actually find it quite difficult to tell friends. It's not that they won't listen or care, it's just I feel like I've already burdened them so much and it's really hard for them as they are all mutual friends and are all hurt and upset by this too of course.

 

So, thanks for listening. Feels good to have said it. I still love her and miss her every day. Bloody 'ell eh?

 

Nugs

[solidbunker]

18 years together?Thats something!

6 months is still very fresh but you are doing all the right things like going out,having some good laughs,..

Maybe you would like to start fresh after a while,maybe moving out of town,travelling for some time,..

Gives you another perspective about life..and love.

But I aint gonna lie to you,18 years is quite a history together and the pain will kill for some time but you will make it.

We all do.

[Fraggle]

Nugs

 

Better out than in is my motto, 6 months after such a long time together is nothing as sb says.

 

I wish you a great Easter and hope that you enjoy your own company and don't let thoughts of her ruin your time

 

There are many of us here feeling the same, although 18 years is a long time to get over. I'm only just half way to your relationship.

 

Post here if it helps, I know it does me as I too don't want to bore my friends and family with my feelings

[backatone]

Nugs,

 

I can relate. 10 yrs together. I'm 9 months out. I too wish my feelings would subside. I find myself having a couple of GREAT days. Then even without a trigger, my feelings hit me. My friends have been great through it all. But I see what you mean about burdening them. I can feel it in them that they want me to just finally move on. I wish this too.

[dasilver]

Hi Nugs,

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

 

....but i have to say...i envy you. 18 years with someone you loved deeply. I've never had the blissful oppotunity of having someone love me for so long and being so happy doing it.

 

I wish you all the strength you need to get you to where you want to be.