do i love her if i cheated?

[Deisel2112]

This is the worst situation i've ever put myself in. About a week an d a half ago i slept with my very close girlfriends best friend, and when i say best friend i mean it. They knew eachother since grade school, and now they won't even talk. My girlfriend, who i loved very much, flipped out and immediately went to fool around with some guy . It hurt, but i realized that i probly deserved it. Me and my x girlfriend still talk, even though she dumped me. We are "Friends" but about a week after it all happened we had sex, two days in a row. I don't know what this means, but i still have very strong feelings for her and want to get back together. She says she can't yet becuase of what her friends, and family would think. I am still taking this girl whom i love to prom, but "as friends". Is it bad for unhealthy for me to still tell this girl i love her, i mean, do i really? It feels like i do, and i would like to know what to do in this situation. Should i stay away from her, or continue to hang out on weekends?

[Lightingbird]

The actions that you moved on that night has cost you a great deal.

 

Your mistake will haunt you for quite some time. You need to realize that from your ex-girlfriends eyes, it would be quite embarrassing on her as a woman to date you again.

 

There is no doubt that you loved her. But you made a very bad mistake.

 

Its extremely easy to mess up or run from a relationship, but hard to keep it.

 

She still loves and cares for you but is very hurt from your actions. It might be best to remain friends for now if you can. Apologize to both and never do this again to any woman.

 

A Strong and respected man will never cheat.

Good luck to you.

[aloneforever]

You know, thats the most horrible thing a person could ever do I don't think its a question of whether or not you love her its a question of whether or not she loves you.

[RobzGr8]

Oh my GOD!! Just when I thought I was dealing with a bunch of High School pansies who were too afraid of their own shadows to talk to, let alone have SEX with a girl (in your case TWO girls), someone like you comes along to reaffirm my belief that MEN do exist!! I am so proud of you I could cry!!

Lemme tell you WHY you can cheat on this girl you supposedly love. YOU DON'T LOVE HER!! Duh! You are what? Seventeen at best? You don't know the first thing about love. You SHOULDN'T know the first thing about love!! You're TOO YOUNG TO BE IN LOVE!!

What you did was completely normal and acceptable to us men. I got a friend who is almost thirty who couldn't pull off what you did!! And having sex with the ex TWICE after you *beep* her best friend!! That was brilliant!

Don't let these previous two posters tell you that what you did was wrong.

Trust me, as you get older you'll do way worse! That's how you learn. Eventually you'll find a girl and REALLY fall in love and get married and by then you'll be totally faithful to her because you *beep* around and got it all out of your system.

I used to be married, and I cheated...A LOT with a LOT of girls. I got divorced (my choice) because I realized that I got married too young and that the desire for other women was still there. Best thing I ever did.

Now..enough praise. You are doing ONE thing wrong.

DO NOT TAKE THIS CHICK TO PROM!!! You are no longer her boyfriend, you should no longer be her friend. And you *beep* sure as hell shouldn't be paying to take this little broad to prom!! She dumped you, right? Why you gonna pay for her to have the time of her life? Let her go with someone else. Let some OTHER sucker pay her way. You obviously have no trouble getting girls, why limit yourself to just these two? *beep* em...move on bro. Find another girl to take to prom.

Get over this "I messed up and I want her back" crybaby crap. The only reason you want her back is because SHE broke up with YOU. If you had dumped her, you could care less if she ever talks to you again. Besides...what you did with her best friend wasn't WRONG...how could it be? That other girl LET you *beeP* HER!! How good of a friend is she if she would sleep with YOU? Not very. Believe me, you have NO loyalty to any of these women...for any reason. You shouldn't feel guilty or sorry for a *beep* THING!!!

Just remember playa, use a condom every time or someone will be calling you Daddy very shortly. That, and AIDS is still out there. Be safe and happy hunting!!

[charlotte_skye]

Hiya,

I have to say at first no offence to him but ROBZGR8 seems to be really angry, ive read some previous replies of his before and each and every one hes saying similar things to this..i cant assume anythin or say anything about his situation except that i dont agree with what he says, either way its advice and each have their own none are right or wonrg i suppose and its worth looking at his point of view i guess cos he is a guy and well i just think theres two types of guys and his a very strong type in this one particular KIND.

anyways i have been in this exzct situation you are in, though i cheated on my boyfriend as i felt neglected from him and i missed him as crazy and as screwed up as that sounds and yet hes the one ive never forgotten, before this i believed if you cheated on someone you dont love them but i find that so untrue and narroweminded now. emotions are crazy things and the subconscious and how we understand ourselves and what were feeling is even more complicated so i dont think theresd ever a real black and white to anything esp in love.

I agree with robzgr8 when he says you musnt as alot of guys such as robz have cheated because they werent in love and if you werent in love im sure you would cheat with ALOT of wonmen also but i believe you can also do it if you are though there must be underlining issues involved liek insecurity or desire for freedom etc etc. you need to work what it is that let you do it not if you love her or not. honestly though if you think your not sure maybes you arent ready and here again maybe robz is right when he says you want her cos she dumped you. maybe only maybe but i dont know how you feel and if you do truly believe to think you are in love with her then i think you are and theres an issue you need to realize and address within yourself as to why it happened. I htink you need time, usualy when your away form it all you can see it clearer and understand what you truly feel without pressure, she obviously and very much would need time away as she seems to be feeling weak seems she slept with you twice after it happened, i think that means she still loves you and hasnt yet sorted it out in her head. if you both take time away you will both understand what each want and need and its a safe bet to not cause further hurt. just make sure your not WANTING to be in love or HOPING to be in love and your not, really think about whhat let it happen and why and then see how you feel about her.

let it come naturally take time out and relax let yourself miss her, dont stress and take lots of care

[zb]

First off is it a question for love or just sex............don't confuse sex with love. Millions of men in America love their wives but look at porn, does that mean they do not love their wives? No, it means they are faithful to sex......... Now I do feel that the actual act of the great "in out, in out" with another woman is wrong if your married... but what is so wrong with a two adults pleasing their primitive needs in other ways. I find it strange that so many women do not mind that their men watch pornos and think about the women on them giving them fellatio or something but if the guy goes out and gets fellatio from a real woman it is all hell broke loose. And what if your the woman your married to will not do certain things that you like. say you like sucking toes but she is not into it at all, does the guy have to hide his fetish away? What about the woman who likes to be spanked but her guy will not do it.......is it really going to hurt if she meets with a guy from time to time to get spanked while she masterbate? Just somethings to think about.