Girl I am dating for almost a year is getting back with her ... husband.

[Donovan79]

Just a suggestion, but in my experience with counseling -- having gone through it both with my marriage when I was young and dealing with depression when my girlfriend had to leave the country for years -- you might want to really consider switching to a male therapist. They will just be able to understand your inner workings and address ways to fix you more directly and effectively.

[SomeGeekGuy]

You know what?

 

I spoken to a few people and told them my entire story from start to finish and the experience that I had.

 

The guys all reacted the same way. They called her a * * * * * and a liar and they were pretty angry with what she did to me.

 

The girls though gave me some very different answers. Many have told me that even though she wasn't honest with me and that what she did sucked, there is no way a normal woman would date a guy for a whole year like this and go on a trip to New York and spend all the effort, time and money of doing the things she did just to use me for her personal gain. She must've had feelings for me as well, no matter what. (Even my therapist (female) said so.)

 

I think I got influenced by some posts that people have put up here. Obviously we are all very sad, very angry and bitter. But this is the kind of place people come to to vent off some steam and * * * * * about what happened. But, we all need to understand that we all had our unique experiences (however * * * * ty) with our ex-partners and some are worse than others, some are better than others.

 

When writing my letter I was obviously influenced by the posts in this thread. I became very sad, angry and bitter, like the rest of us on here who have all suffered from the heart. But, it does not reflect how I feel anymore. Well, I am still very sad, but I don't think I'm that angry and bitter anymore because after all, I was still able to win her heart in a certain way.

 

I bet that if the circumstances had been different (no existing marriage, from the same area, etc), we definitely would've ended up together. It was just complicated with her being from Atlanta with all her visa restrictions and me from Montreal and being so attached to my family to move there with her. So there really was no future for us anyway and I have to come to terms with that.

 

Yes, I did love her. And yes I miss the times we had. And yes I am really hurt by the fact that she lied about her marriage and I feel like a tool. But I played my cards right for her to be interested in me and going this far with me.

 

This was still a great experience that I've had with her and I will always have fond memories of the time we spent, and I have learned a lesson from it all: Next time, google her first. Find out everything you can about her. If you don't find skeletons in her closet, you may find some clues about what her interests are and eventually use that for ideas for activities and gifts. (I know I did, a little too late now, but I did.) And, if she's hiding her facebook page from you, there's something wrong and you should probably pull out of the whole thing before you get more involved with her.

 

Anyway, hanging out and talking with my old buddies today really helped me out. I fell a lot better and a little less depressed.

[SomeGeekGuy]

Ending a relationship. The 5 stages of grief

 

link removed