Hurting from obsession

[murrman]

My girlfriend and I met on the internet about 5 months ago. She is a virgin and we have never seen eachother. We live about an hour away from eachother yet she is always too busy to see me. I normally won't put up with this kind of stuff but im madly in love with her. She's expressed these same feelings and I truly believe her. When I tell her i'm worried about her seeing another guy she tells me how i'm the only guy for her and she loves me with all her heart, she also tells me not to worry and she gets mad if i tell her im jealous . I started letting her know how much it bothered me not to see her and she told me to come visit in a couple of weeks. I saw an offline message telling some other guy to give her a call. Why would she want to talk to some other guy? Is she trying to find someone to replace me? Please tell me what I should do, i'm all torn up inside from anxiety. I can't focus on my studies and I cant sleep. Please help me. should i break up with her? if so, how can i forget about her. thanks!

PS If you Im me I can send you copies of our conversations online

[sonjam]

dude, I hope when you met her, you guys had webcams, and you saw each other, if not, then I'm affraid, you are in love with an image of somoene in your own mind. This is such a classic case of internet misleading. I hate when people do that. And you should know better than to fall for it!. Anyway, often people talk to alot of online friends. You can't be jealous of it, because you can't control what another person does.

 

Let's think on this for a minute. Say you do meet, and you still like each other, will you then allow her to still talk on the internet? How will you make her stop if you don't like it? she is pretty much free to talk and flirt to whoever she feels like.

 

That is to say if she's not a 46 year old male, with a potbelly and a wife and kids in the "real life" (guys, nothing against 46 year olds, or potbellies, my hubby has one and I love it) but as a manner of speaking.

 

I guess I could suggest show up at her house to see for yourself what is going on, but that could be seen as stalking. So I don't really have advice for you other than make sure she is who she says she is, and that she means what she tells ya...

[woobiegirl]

Hello murrman,

 

Sorry to hear about your situation, but I agree with sonjam. If the the two of you lived in different states, I would understand not meeting, but an hour is certainly not out of the question. If she keeps postphoning a meeting, then ask her to e-mail you a picture, although that doesn't guarantee it's the same person either. Sad to say, but the internet has it's risks as well as positive side and allot of people are married or not who they say so I would be careful. You have created feelings from shared words and although that is a good start, keep an open mind that stalling is a sign of "something is not right".

 

Take care,

Woobiegirl

[kariphyve]

i was once in a similar situation, and i hate to say it, but if she wont see you now there is very little chance that the situation will clear up. a lot of people like to have fun misleading people over the internet, and im sorry to hear about your case. i hate when people just have no consideration for the other person!