Moving on in life...alone, and why it is so difficult.

[lor90236]

Well, here is my story short. I hope it makes sense.

 

I'm 21, finishing up college and life is good. I have close relationships with friends and family, stay active, laugh a lot, and am improving myself daily. Sounds great, right? But I'm stuck in a rut.

 

For over a year now, Ive been learning to live a happy life being single. I haven't always dated someone, but most of the time I have, and Im finally learning to live a life on my own. It has been great to reflect on who I am and learn more about myself. I have truly enjoyed spending time working on myself. But it has been hard at times watching my best friends with their boyfriends, so I optimistically start to date people, but when I can't find someone i want to date, i get discouraged, and then the cycle beings again. I have dreams of doing great things in the future, but Im still uncomfortable with living a single life. I just feel that there is so much time being alone and feel that something is "missing". Im an introvert, so I like spending some time by myself, but not all of it.

 

I plan on moving to Denver this summer, where my sister and friend lives, which I am thrilled about. However, I am scared of losing connections with people and am afraid Ill end up lonely. I know its very normal in this day in age to be single at any age, but how do people cope with living a daily life with only yourself? Will the loneliness feeling go away? How can I be more happy single but also optimistic about dating at the same time?

[Laura11111]

Read this book:

 

Single: The art of being satisfied, fulfilled, and independent. The author is Judy Ford.

 

I'm not normally much of a reader but I'm so glad I read this one. It was absolutely life changing for me. After reading it, I went on to thoroughly enjoy an entire year of being single. When I was ready to date, I was feeling happy and confident which made dating a much more positive experience.

 

My advice is, read the book and then take yourself off the market for awhile to work on you. You'll be glad you did it

[lor90236]

Thank you!!

[Angel Irulan]

Get emails and phone numbers of all your friends. Let everyone else know yours, and that they are welcome to come visit you any time once you get settled. Tell them calls and emails are great! Then, for the new city, learn the ropes from your friends, places to go, places to avoid. Do you have new job in Denver yet? Don't move without one!!!!!! That's the biggest thing to make you independent and not a drag on your sister. Sure, I know she's your sis, but she is not your mom. Have as much cash as you can. Being single, paying for yourself is always going to be the biggest burden! So, my best advice is to take good care of your money, and earn as much as you can between now and then.

 

Question: What would you do if you found a good job that isn't in Denver????

 

Angel

[lor90236]

I definitely won't put that burden on my sister! I'm trying to save as much as possible. I want to go to Denver first because I know a few people. If I can handle that, I will move alone wherever necessary! Thanks for the tips, they're great.