I feel the need to get closure from my ex of over a year ago

[lifeisaparadox]

As the title states, I want closure. Complete closure.

 

During our relationship, we've broken up twice throughout the timespan of 2 years. I treated him badly and I know it, but he hung around. I was really dumb, it was one of my first relationships, and I didn't understand how to treat a s/o.

 

Anyway, we broke up on mutual terms the 2nd time but feelings lingered for both of us. We were in a LDR and couldn't do it so we broke up and became "just friends." Anyhow, over the timespan of us being broken up for like 6 months, I kind of found someone new. Ish. I was still talking to my ex as friends, and this new guy and I went on some dates and I had my fun. Nothing was official.

 

In any case, my ex came back to visit me and we had a date and we almost got intimate but I told him about how there may be another guy so I feel wrong doing this to him. Since then, he has never spoken to me and has shown that he has no intention of wanting to. This was almost 8-9 months ago.

 

Again, I want closure. I want to truly apologize to him and really just tell him how bad I feel for doing him wrong throughout our 2 years together. He was a good boyfriend, a good friend, and a good person. I was just stupid and didn't know what I wanted. I want to tell him all of that, because I feel really bad for putting him through a rough time.

 

Is it too selfish of me to ask him for a face-to-face talk to get complete closure? Should I just leave it be? If so, how do I rid the guilt?

[BrianH46]

I say leave him alone, it would be selfish of you to contact him and risk opening up any of his old wounds. As for the forgiveness part, you realized your faults so that is a very good first step. Over time just meditate over your behavior and forgive yourself, make it so that you feel you can grow as person and will not repeat those same mistakes. This may go against conventional wisdom but guilt is something that only you yourself can abolish not someone else.

[toby17]

Yes, it is selfish to ask for a face-to-face.

 

If you really want to apologise and nothing more, you could send him a text or email that pretty much says:

 

I want to truly apologize to you and tell you how bad I feel for doing you wrong throughout our 2 years together. You were a good boyfriend, a good friend, and a good person. I was just stupid and didn't know what I wanted. I feel really bad for putting you through a rough time.

 

And don't expect a response.

[DN]

Are you sure that you aren't really hoping that by having this meeting to apologise there might be a chance of getting him back?

[doyathink]

Are you sure that you aren't really hoping that by having this meeting to apologise there might be a chance of getting him back?

 

And if this ^ isnt the case...I think an apology is honorable. I think its good to right a wrong as much as possible. But a face to face may cause him even more pain. IDK...