Ah the famous "breadcrumbs"

[Nickles]

I think I've become a victim of the dreaded breadcrumbs...eeek.

 

Short but not very sweet....

We were together for 5 years

We broke up a month ago due to external stress.

We lived together

I'm living with parents now again

We went for dinner last week and didn't talk about "us" but he said he had an amazing time and it was finally good to talk to someone about cars and our other mutual interests.

 

The other night he posted a status on Facebook to say he had gotten his dream job. A job I've been helping him to get for year...an ultimate goal for both of us to be honest. I felt like I was dumped all over again that he had put it on Facebook. So I text him...ugh....saying, "congrats" nothing else. He didn't write back. I gave my phone and laptop to my mother and cried and cried. So around 5 hours later before bed I had to check the laptop for work purposes. I went on Facebook foolishly. I had a PM from him saying, "Thanks and saying how the interview went.

 

1. Was that breadcrumbs?

2. Why would he reply to a text message using facebook?

3. I didn't write back....I couldn't do it to myself. I was heartbroken....does that make me look like I was jealous of his job?

4. What do I do next?

5. Should I write back?

[seoulmate]

1. No, that was him being human. If he didn't reply, you'd be wondering how someone who you thought cared about you so much at one time didn't have the heart to even reply to a simple "congrats". Don't read into.

2. FAcebook is just a means to contact someone. Don't overanalayze - he isn't.

3. No, it doesn't make you look jealous. You said congrats and he replied.

4. You go on with your life.

5. No, he got the job, you said congrats and you left it at that.

 

I broke up with a girl last week. She called me tonight. I answered the phone because she is a good person but just not MY good person. I don't want to hurt her more so I politely answered as she wished me well on a business trip she knew I was going on tomorrow. I thanked her and then suggested we shouldn't talk like this again as she should start moving on with her life. I had no alertior motive for answering the phone. I could have not answered I guess, just as your ex could have not replied. And what would my ex's thoughts have been? Why isn't he answering? And now that I answered is she thinking, why would he answer?

 

Someone can still care about you but not want to be with you. Those are mutually exclusive feelings and allowable. I think that if you contine the conversation via FAcebook or the like that he may actually just finally ignore one of the messages (as he won't want to confuse you more or lead you on).

 

Trust me,...if he wants to be with you again he will show interest by more than kindly replying to your message. In a way, be thankful that he does care and is not as bad as other ex b/f's that I read about on this forum.

 

For now, I would let it go...give him the space and do not assume anything by his actions. This is not "breadcrumbs". This is just a guy trying to be kind to someone he cared about and he knows that this job meant something to you, as well. So he feels it is appropriate that he can share some of the details.

[Nickles]

I do think he still loves me but also think this is right for now. I never ever want to play games as he's a great guy. In relation to carrying on the conversation....we exchanged a few texts since the break up and he always wanted to continue chatting. I was always the one who wouldn't reply anymore. It's hard to do the right thing and be mature about this but I think I'm doing well so far.

 

How long were you with your girlfriend?

[calichick007]

Not breadcrumbs, IMO. You initiated the contact. Like the above poster said, you'd be furious if he hadn't responded. It's the natural thing to do... someone says "congrats," you say "thank you."