have to see my ex. how do i handle it?

[Suzanne1281]

Hello!

I have written many many times about my ex who has cheated on me, lives in the same small college town, and I have a hard time getting over it. I've since started counseling b/c I realized my inability to handle it has to do with past traumatic events in my life. I just have a simple question that maybe someone can give advice on.

I have two weeks left of college and I am determined to spend the last two weekends having fun in town with my friends that I won't see again. Problem is, the only bar I enjoy going to that ALLLLL of my friends go to is where my ex bartends. I have not gone there much since the breakup b/c I feel like I am going to throw up knowing he's so near and that I might see him with one of his flavors of the week and it is GOING to upset me. (You can all tell me that he's my ex, don't worry if he has new girls, but it STILL is going to bother me very much so please don't yell at me for it).

Now when I'm there, I stay away from the actual bar and have other people order my drinks so that I don't have to see or talk to him. But I still feel sick and I get shaky and it's awful. And to tell you the truth, I WANT to go up to the bar to do shots with my friends or to order my own drinks. I don't like having to hide!!! I know I have my friends surrounding me and they are great, but it is still really sucky. Does anyone have any advice on how I can handle these feelings when I'm there? Anything I should be telling myself the whole time so that I can enjoy myself with my friends for my final weekends of college? How can I be in that bar and enjoy myself?

[happy lady1207]

In my opinion the only way to get over a situation like this, is confrontation. When my past lover hurt me with another woman, and she was around me all the time, and i had to have contact with her, I just took a deep breathe and said hi. I know its hard, but sweetie, if you do it once it will get easier with each and everytime. In my opinion, look your best and put your somewhat happiest face on, because i know you cared for him, but you have to realize you have to move on with your life...because you never know Mr. Right might be next to you when your ordering your drinks from your ex-boyfriend.