long convoluted love story

[mkkm]

Two months ago, I broke up with my then girlfriend. There had been tension between us for a while (we were very attracted to each other but have very different jobs, political views and social circles). The same night, I very randomly met someone else who after talking for a bit handed me her number and told me to call her. I was very depressed about the breakup and hesitated, but a couple days later called her anyway and we met for drinks. Things progressed very quickly, and 2 days later we went out with her friends. When we came back to her place she told me she didn't want to sleep with me yet and said she has very strong feelings for me and sees a lot of potential. I had actually gone out the night before with my ex and her friends, but not slept with her either even though she wanted to, so when the new girl told me this I told her that I had literally just broken up and moving so fast felt strange. She said she understood and asked if I wanted to stay or leave, and I left.

Over the next few weeks I more or less got back with my old girlfriend, but my heart wasn't in it. She went on a couple week long trip, and when she got back I broke up with her and told her I met someone else.

I had had coffee with the other girl a couple days before, and realized what a mistake I had made. She told me that she had been incredibly disappointed and depressed after I left and was very hurt. I apologized, and we talked for about 2 hours, and there was clearly a lot of chemisty between us. We were supposed to have coffee again next week (meanwhile I broke up with the old girlfriend when she got back from her trip) but she first got very sick then went

to visit her family. When she came back, she told me she was getting busy and didn't then didn't return my messages. I eventually sent her a long message explaining everything and she said this just wasn't a good way to start a relationship.

Right now I'm very much in love her and trying to get her back. This is a girl who had very strong feelings for me, and there was a lot of chemistry between us when I last saw her, so I think that her mind or pride is telling her to not go by emotion.

I know that I hurt her a lot, and taking me back would be a big blow to her pride, so I don't know I can do to overcome this.

I'm thinking of sending flowers to her house, and can't really think of anything else to do.

Some complicating factors. I'm 25 and she's 32, also, she is bisexual and mostly has dated women. I'm not sure how these change the dynamics, but I have a feeling they might. We live in the same neighborhood so will probably bump into each other within a couple of weeks, but besides that we don't have any common social circle.

I'm pretty desperate at this point so any help would be appreciated...

[Ilona Crow]

It is very easy to fall from one serious relationship into something that feels so much more intense. Usually this is mostly because your new flame stands out in contrast to the old one, and has a lot less to do with your long-term feelings for the new one. This woman probably decided that she didn't want the heart-break of being your rebound, and I think the mature thing to do is to just respect that. If those feelings are real, they will still be there later down the road, and you can hang out then and see how things go. It's usually good to spend some time focusing on yourself after a break-up anyway.