Hit it off well, but now she's flaky...

[JEastern]

Hey everyone,

 

Dilemma,

 

A couple of weeks ago, I met a girl while traveling. We both work for the same company but in different cities. We hit it off really well, talked for about an hour or so before my flight. We exchanged numbers, she wanted a hug, and told me "next time you're here, we should hang out". A couple days later, I called her up and after about an hour of phone conversation, I mentioned that I wanted to take her for coffee the following week, seeing as I was going to be in town. She agreed, said that would be fun, and told me she'd let me know since she possibly had plans with her friends.

 

I hadn't heard from her until a few days ago and via text, she said she had forgotten to get back to me. She asked me how I was doing and didn't respond again once I asked her the same. It's been a few days since that text.

 

It's a good story how we met, but something I found myself getting a bit worked up over rather quickly. I'm off the crush part of it, but I've been curious whether she never got my text back, I never got hers, or she's really just avoiding me. There's nothing wrong with my text messages, so this is puzzling when we really hit things off just a few weeks ago. I've left it alone for now, seeing as pestering isn't my thing, and it doesn't get you anywhere and just makes you look bad.

 

Should I try again, or just let it go? Thoughts?

 

Thanks

[stuka80]

nothing really happened it seemed aside from the initial meeting. And seeing as she's not even responding to you and forgetting about you, i'd just let it go and move on.

[annie24]

How often do you go to her city?

 

I wouldn't text anymore. Maybe call her when you get there and see if she wants to meet up. It's hard to tell what's going on. Do you think maybe she has a bf?

[JEastern]

Thanks for the replies.

 

I'm in her city a few times a month for work. In the first conversation we had, she mentioned that she's not dating anyone. I know it's nothing to read too much in to, but she was giving off vibes. Anyway, it has been a week since I replied to her text and received no response. I went through the effort to call her, getting a text several days later telling me she forgot to get back to me doesn't read too well in my book.

 

I know what the hidden "I'm not into you" message sounds like, so I'm not about to keep pursuing her if this flakiness is going on already. I'd think she would want to follow up on the plans.

[bialoman]

It does sound puzzling as like you mentioned, you seemed to hit it off well.

 

Could be a number of things ;

she could be generally a lazy texter or e-mails, I know it's no excuse as such but last year I was seeing a girl for a bit and it was similar - we hit it off really well in person but on sms and emails she was vague and quiet. We were friends on facebook and I noticed that she went through days from writing nothing even if she received a wallpost to writing quick replies.

As she's in a different city she might have met someone the last week or so and isn't sure how she feels about the new guy or she might even like you but doesn't want to jump in too much.

The girl I was seeing as mentioned, when I asked her why she is so bad at communicating via email/text, she said she wanted to take it slow and she didn't live her life by social network sites.

 

Why not just leave it at the moment and see if she gets in contact in the next days/weeks and let her do the chase.

[JEastern]

Bialoman, that's what I've been doing...leaving it alone. I haven't heard from her since, so it is what it is.

 

In response to your post, was that the final straw? I stopped using facebook as a gauge for that kind of stuff, and try to withhold being friends on there until there's been enough dating progress.

[bialoman]

I'm still friends as such with her but we only sent the occasional message on fb or email. So, yeah it did kinda fizzle out. She flaked too much and didn't seem at times she wanted me enough although our mutual friend kept telling me that she admitted to him that she did like me but she knew she was going traveling in May and didn't want to get to close etc.

 

Hope you are doing ok, JEastern. Just get back out there and try meet some new folk in your area and you'll soon be forgetting about this one.