21, shy virgin thinking of getting an escort.

[Fraggle Gobo]

Hi everyone. I'm a shy 21 yr old virgin, who's only been on a couple of dates, never successfully initiating a relationship with a woman. I've had virtually no sexual experience. It's been almost 3 years since I've even kissed a girl, and I've certainly never been farther around the bases than that. I'm lonely. I'm sad most of the time and I've had an ongoing crush on a friend of mine for nearly a year. I guess that's just the tip of the iceberg in where I stand in this category, but I won't digress.

 

I've been looking into getting an escort for a couple of months; still debating on whether it's the right thing to do or not. I've been looking at many different "providers" and I'm pretty confident the one I choose isn't going to rip me off or give me a bad "girlfriend experience", as they often call it on their websites. I don't think I would regret it terribly either. I'm sure most guys don't really look back on their first time with too much fondness for the experience or the girl they were with for that matter. But maybe I'm wrong.

 

Above all, I long to be with someone. The girl I have a crush on is more or less out of the picture. She never really found out that I liked her, but I think she might have figured it out. She never really returned my phone calls anyway. Now I haven't seen her in like a month; just trying to forget about her. I might post anotherthing about her later though.

 

So what do you think? Should I go ahead and get the escort? I suppose I'm looking for a confidence boost. Of course the pure satisfaction might only last a few days, but the experience could be an invaluable tool to help me get over the fear of dating. My inexperience sexually is definitelly something I'm ashamed of. Of course, I think it would be nice to hold out for someone I'm in love with, but that might not even happen with a woman that doesn't refer to her lays as "clients". Besides, it's not that I don't (hopefully) have many years ahead of me for sex with a woman I am truly in love with.

[Tinkerbell]

Well well welll...Personally, I don't think getting an "escort" is a good idea (I loved how you used that term instead of just coming out and saying a prostitute... The very idea of sleeping with someone who would refer to you as a client afterwards sickens me to no end, thereforeeee I'm certainly not going to support your idea. However, it really is your choice, so if you're set on getting jiggy with it with a woman who's vagina is a crowd-pleasing cavern, than by all means go ahead, but make sure to enjoy the ride, as you're likely to catch something that would make your penis fall off.

[Prezkot]

Yeah, I'm going almost nuts in terms of inner loneliness, but I have more dignity than that (not that I'm saying you don't have dignity). And I agree with Tink that I wouldn't want to be "sloppy 22nds", but it's your choice.

[theghost]

Hmm....I had no idea he was talking about a prostitude.

 

Anyways, I seen COPS, and they somtimes arrest people for that type of thing.

 

 

oh, and also, I don't support your idea.

[Mermaid]

Bad idea. TERRIBLE idea.

 

Hiring an escort is not the answer for your loneliness. In fact, it seems to me that your current emotional state almost guarantees that you'd get emotionally attached to an escort. Is that what you want? To find yourself longing for a woman whom you have to pay in order to receive her attention?

 

And if it's sex you're looking for, then not only is this illegal, but you need to ask yourself if you're willing to let your first time be so devoid of anything even resembling affection and love.

 

Don't wallow so much in your loneliness that you lose your dignity.

[Samantha]

I'm a shy 20 year old virgin too, never had a boyfriend, and I only been on a date once in my life. I think losing you're virgininty to a prostitute is a very bad idea, cause you don't know how many guys/gals that girl had slept with and you can possibly catch something from her. But that's you're choice, but you should really, really think this over.

[tough_girl]

I would advise you against that. That kind of girls have been sleeping around with loads of guys. There is a huge chance that you might meet one that has disease. Sleeping with her would only allow you to catch the disease from her. Think carefully.

[jbw65]

Fraggle,

 

A few ideas for you to consider should you go forward with your plan.

 

1. Sex without love is just that.... it loses most it's meaning when you have intercourse with somebody who doesn't mean anything to you emotionally.

 

2. Very few women that I've ever been acquainted with would be worried about your lack of sexual experience. It would mean a lot more to them that you're enough of a man to handle your sexual decisions responsibly and with due consideration to someone whom you might have a future relationship with.

 

3. Yes sex is a pleasant experience w/ or w/out love, but having sex that is disconnected from emotions will have consequences. If you have a future relationship that makes the mutual decision to be sexually active then there is a good chance that you will have a much harder time connecting with that person on an emotional level which I think is the most important level.

 

Don't sell yourself short in this area. The stakes are high! Write if you want to talk more about this. In the end this is a decision that you have to make for yourself, but listen and consider the wisdom that others are sharing.

 

Best Wishes!

[gogol]

There are many many reasons that hiring an escort is NOT the answer to your problems...

 

First, you said that you were lonly. You longed to be with someone. I know exactly how you feel man. It hurts so badly to have a heart full of love and no one to share it with. When all you want is a head on your chest and a hand in your own. However, these feelings of emptyness will only amplify with an escort. She will not have feelings for you beyond one of a "professional" nature. The possibility that you will be attracted to her is great, and when she will not return your feelings, you will be left in a worse position than you are now. I don't mean to say what you are or how you will take things, but I am saying that from the information you posted, the chance is great that this is true.

 

Next, you are loosing your verginity to a prostitute. I may be part of a shrinking crowd, but I feel that one's verginity is the most important physical aspect to one's body and soul. You will loose such an important quality of your body to someone who holds no love, affection, or attraction towards you. Also, if you're a Christian, you should know that sex outside of marriage is a sin. Our verginity is ment to be shared with the one we spend the rest of our lives with. If you loose yours now, to a person so "unimportant" to you, then you will no doubtly regret your decision once you meet someone special.

 

Now, you may be saying "That someone special isn't coming". Well, I can assure you that she is. But, you can't sit around doing nothning and expect her to come to you. Remember, she is waiting to meet someone special too (you). The only thing is, she's already out looking for you. You need to meet eachother half way. Go out. Visit single bars. Get involved in local programs. Do anything to meet people, and more specifically, women. Believe me, your special woman is waiting just like you are. And she's already out there looking for you. Don't make her wait! I promise you that if you put the effort into it , you WILL meet her.

 

Remember, don't loose hope. There will be women whom you think are the one but turn out not to be. Some of these women can hurt your heart quite badly. Stay alert and don't let yourself fall for a women like this.

 

Now, forget about this silly prostitute idea and find the woman who will love you for who you are. She's waiting....

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Listen, if you JUST want to get LAID then I have two words for you: chat rooms

 

you can meet girls that arn't easy or have slept around alot and you can be more outgoing.

 

And about your first time not being speical. Don't worry. You won't be remineseing with your future wife about your first time ever, you'll be reminessing about the first time with her. Maybe women hold such a memory to high esteem, but men don't. (But it will never be a story you'll want to your wife.) It's whatever you think is more important: how special your first time is, or how old you were when you had your first time.

 

But like the others said, this only applies to the case if you want to get laid. I know, I've been there too. But you shouldn't use sex for an emotional replacement.

 

But trust me, either because you get laid, or maybe in spite of it, you'll realize that sex isn't the most important thing in the world. I can think of 3 or 4 girls I could have sex with with little work but I'm deciding to save myself for something more meaningful. (With one girl I'm having a hard time abstaining ).

[drahcir]

You have said that you are sad and lonely, and you need company. This may sound like a stupid idea, but why don't you start doing some volunteer work at a nursing home or with children. The elderly and children will love almost everyone--they are unconditionally accepting. I have never dated, had a gf, ect., but I remember back when I did volunteer work at a nursing home. Sometimes i would just go there and hold the hand of some old lady for a long time and stare out the window with her. It was the most amazing experience, for both me and her and the other residents. It was better than any girlfriend or sex I could have had at the time. All work with children. YOu know, there is nothing so amazing as working with young children and having them look up to you (figuratively and literally) and trust you and know they can be safe with you and know that they know you are thier to be thier protector and friend. I remember children calling my name ( I never managed to remember any of thier names, and they didn't care). And holding thier hand, giving them a hug...or better when they come up to you for a hug. And then they talk about you with thier friends and parents. Wow....okay being with them will be more fun than hanging out with a prostitute. Trust me, you will love it. YOu can get respected and loved at the same time, and avoid the STD's, Aids, ect. Children, not prostitutes

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Or maybe somehow you could do both (but not with a prositute)?

[Fraggle Gobo]

Hello again. Thank you all so much for your flavorful replies. Especially Tinkerbell and her attempt at scaring me into never having sex at all (didn't work unfortunately; or fortunatly, whichever). And especially one of the last ones saying I should do some volunteer work. I have in the past (not kids or the elderly, though)and I have wonderful memories of doing such. Part of the reason I haven't done more is my desire to connect more to my own friends and age group. Ahhh that last line is so memorable. "Children, not prostitutes". Can't say I didn't chuckle like a criminally insane baby when I read that.

 

Thanks, I'll reply again should I get some more. You guys truly are helpful.

 

Gobo

[theghost]

Here is my opinion....

 

 

Although you are a virgin, many girls prefer guys to be virgins, same with guys, many of us prefer girls to be virgins too.

 

So how wouldn't you go about when you finally meet the right one? are you going to tell her that you lost your virginity to an 'escort'?

 

Its sad...I know, if you're a virgin most guys would think that you have some problems, but its even sader that you have to buy a prostitude to loose your virginity.

 

Read a lot of the post here....many guys regret having sex, and they'd wish they could have waited for the 'right one'.

 

Think about it.

[drahcir]

ya thats a really great point!!!!

[chanceit]

don't do it .

 

If put all that energy you're wasting on this escort idea into finding a real girl.

 

It might just happen for you.

 

If some one really loves you they won't care if you're a virgin or not!