Did I act pretty "normal" during these situations

[bananashake]

This has been my first relationship where the Breakup was horrible and I've never been in a situation like this before, so I guess I would like to know if I handled it well.

 

He broke up with me in October w/o ANY warning. Well, we were having some problems. But I went to his house one day in Oct and we talked about every thing. And then we had sex. I left his house feeling good about "us". But by that evening, he wasn't returning my texts, hung up on me without ever saying "hello" to answer and he blocked me on facebook. He disappeared. I called him daily for a good two weeks, only to get hung up on immediately, or, he would let it go to VM. I just wanted to know what happened, why, etc. Wasdthis normal behavior? Looking back, I should have just let him GO.

 

A month later, he called. It was right around the time I was moving on. He gave me a lame reason for dropping me cold. But he wanted to get together for Thanksgiving. I was so happy. So, T-Giving rolls around and I brought him some food from my family feast. We talked a bit about what happened. And I was starting to get teary because I was still so hurt and his story didn't make any sense to me. So, I graciously got up, put on my coat, thanked him for his honesty and started to walk out the door. He grabbed me and kissed me passionately. He begged me to stay in his life, that he loves me. We then made plans for that Saturday.

 

Well, Saturday rolls around and he cancelled. He said he only views we as an "object" right now. And he doesn't want to treat me like that. He said he loves me, but I'm just an object to him and he doesn't think it would be a good thing for either of us to hang out. But he offer to bring me some of my things that I had left at his house. When he brought them over, he grabbed me and kissed me passionately. He even stuck his hand down my pants and fingered me. But, once again, I left...

 

The next week was our big fight. I took all the anger and hurt that I had inside of me and I snappped on him. For the first time ever. I called him a terrible person, a terrible father to his kids, etc. I remember feeling wuite relieved. Most of the things that used to bother me about him, came out that evening.

 

So, what I want to know is....is it normal to snap on someone during a breakup. To say things that u normally wouldn't say. To become a person that is normally out of character for you. Is it normal to call someone for 2 weeks if they are suddenly ignoring you?

[EgoJoe]

You did nothing shameful or out of the ordinary. He is in the wrong. People act a bit ridiculous during breakups but...what you did was not that bad. He deserved your anger because he was playing with your emotions.

 

This guy is 100% not worth it. You can do better.

[GreenCupcake]

Your ex is so lame! He only wants to get in your pants and his excuses are for that reason only. He even admitted it when he said he views you as an object. He doesn't love you. His you-know-what does.

 

And yes, it is normal to snap when someone like your ex acts that way. At first, it can be very confusing behavior. But you will eventually realize that he's an idiot. You'll be ok as long as you stay away from him.

[laninaperdida]

Personally, I would have called him something worse than a "terrible person,"

Babe, you did fine.

Break-ups are hard and I think it's one of the few times you can let your crazy out.

(Temporarily, of course.)

Don't be mad at yourself, please.

I think you handled this gracefully.

2 weeks isn't a long time to be seeking closure.

It'd be awesome if you didn't pursue him at all, but no one is made of rock.

Some people hang on for months and years waiting for that phone call.

Again, don't be mad at yourself,

Stay away from him, though.

Breakups happen, but to behave like he did is so immature, not masculine, and kind of pathetic.

He's not worth talking to anymore.

[bananashake]

do u think he will ever apologize to me??

[toby17]

You didn't do anything wrong. And if you hadn't done it, months from now you'd wish you had.

 

Until my last breakup, I've never had an exes behave other than decently.

But after being on eNA for months, I can tell your ex's clown behaviour is more common than you think.

 

Apologize for what?

[bananashake]

You didn't do anything wrong. And if you hadn't done it, months from now you'd wish you had.

 

Until my last breakup, I've never had an exes behave other than decently.

But after being on eNA for months, I can tell your ex's clown behaviour is more common than you think.

 

Apologize for what?

 

The reason why I snapped is because I showed up at his place with all fresh food and ingredients to make a pizza for him and his kids. We talked about me coming over to make it only 5 hours prior to me coming over. And he was the one who asked me to come over and even gave me the time to make it. I showed up on time, and he coldly opened the door and said "oh, the kids just ate a couple hours ago, u can still make it if u want, but I doubt if they are hungry." I left graciously after explaining to him that he should have called me before I spent 40 dollars on ingredients. That he should have called me to tell me they ate, because it is a common courtesy. He didn't understand where I was coming from with this, so I calmly left, not wanting to make a scene with his kids in the other room. But when I got home, I snapped. I snapped because he's done things like this before - completely inconsiderate of my time/money/effort. I snapped because I was so sick of it. I snapped because I was upset over his "ignoring me" phase from a month ago.

 

And now, 7 weeks later, he wants NOTHING to do with me. As if I am such a bad person. He has blocked me from email and changed his number. Like I am the evil one. No, dammit, no. He hurt me deeply and I reacted. How am I sooo terrible??

[sadchick83]

The only triable thing here is that you keep extending yourself to this loser. Why not take the pizza ingredients, or whatever the next offering is, to a good friend, family member, or even a homeless shelter. Your cruel, Narcissist ex will never change.

[stupid as mud]

I would have been fuming too, he knew you were bringing ingredients over and trying to do something nice for him and his children and he could of text to let you know they had eaten, in a situation like this I think I would of felt angry too. As for the way he has acted my ex had done similar to me after our break up, in the end I told him I didn't want to be used for sex, I think this is perfectly reasonable, who wants to be left feeling like they're just being used. I think you've acted reasonable two weesk to try and seek closure or some reason as to why it ended is not very long at all.